First Heartbreak

First heartbreak tastes bitter like a lemon, infects quicker than a virus. Tears limbs apart more vicious than a pitbull.

First heartbreak has coffee brown eyes and wears a beat-up camouflage hat. Is wickedly funny, unmistakably charming. Has a name that makes you break down every time you hear it.

First heartbreak used to be your best friend, used to send you poems in goodnight texts. Implies that he’d be interested if it weren’t for someone else.

First heartbreak chooses her instead, pushes you away suddenly. Lingers in the back of your mind, lingers in the depths of your heart.

First heartbreak is inescapable, stares at you in the hall between classes. Doesn’t say a word. Still causes your stomach to turn.

First heartbreak eventually fails out of school, becomes a piece of your past. Becomes inspiration for your art, becomes immortalized in ink. 

That time I ate the Vegemite chocolate...and made gifs

You guys know, I bought it. I tried it. I went there.

And I filmed it, but the video won’t load because my internet fucking sucks.

Anyway, I love Vegemite. I’ll put it on fucking anything. Mashed potato? Vegemite! Toast? Vegemite! Avocado on toast? Vegemite! Scrambled eggs? Vegemite motherfucker!

Naturally, when I learned of this potential abomination, I was like “yes, I am going to eat that.”

So I did.

Tell us what it looks like, Josie?

I think my exact words were : “It looks like the chocolate has diarrhea.”

And the smell?

Fucking weird. But not a deal breaker. I’ve smelt worse things that have ended up in my mouth (I mean food you perverts!).

Alright, the moment of truth…

I tried to make this sexy. I failed.

How’s that first taste?

Well…it’s…not terrible. I can’t really taste the Vegemite yet…it’s kind of okay I guess…interesting…

How about now?

WOOP there it is…it’s present…but it’s not as bad as I thought it would be…sort of. It’s…not unpleasant…entirely.

And the after taste?

Actually kinda good…which is weird because it’s usually the after taste that  gets you channeling Gob Bluth. It’s kind of weirdly tangy. I don’t think you could eat more than one little square at a time without feeling pretty sick.

So did you have a second square?

I’m an ESTP and a scientist. Of course I did. For science! (Ah, excellent, didn’t completely fail at sexy this time!)

And how is it the second time around?

Better! Still weird, but better. The after taste is oddly really good. Really good aftertaste.

So do you like it?

I do like it! I actually do! I am not sure whether I should be proud of this or not…

But would you eat it again.

I wouldn’t buy it again, but if it was free then I wouldn’t say no…so yeah?

So there you have it!

I think it’s pretty good, and also my husband and kids hated it so that means I wouldn’t have to share, which is excellent because I fucking hate sharing!

Also take note - no chasers here! Washing it down with a drink is for pussies!

Overseas followers, if you get a chance I think you should try it, just so you can say you did - you never know, you might be more Australian than you think!

Thus concludes the most Auscore post I’ll probably ever make!

Love you all like lovers xoxo

  • The First Taste
  • Fiona Apple
  • Tidal

First Taste - Fiona Apple

I do not struggle in your web 
because it was my aim to get caught.
But daddy longlegs, I feel that I’m finally growing weary 
of waiting to be consumed by you.

First Taste |Closed RP - NBL Downfall|

“And you believe she’s ready, Avery?" 

The blonde woman smiled, looking up from the file. 

"Yes, I believe so." 

"Good,” Trevayne said, twirling a small silver coin over her finger tips. Avery nodded, and lead the captain down the hall, stopping in front of Claire’s door. She knocked lightly on the door before unlocking it and stepping in, smiling at the new initiate. 

“That will be all, Avery. I can handle things from here." 

Avery left the room, and Juliet took a seat across from Claire. 

"I have something I would like you to see,” the dark haired woman said softly. “You are one of us now, and it’s time you proved it. Oath aside, action is a better…indicator of your dedication to the cause.” She held the coin up. 

“Heads or tails, Claire?" 

Watch on
The signs as my playlist songs
  • Aries:Be Alone - Paramore
  • Taurus:I Am Not A Robot - Marina & The Diamonds
  • Gemini:Pepsi Commercial Techno Song
  • Cancer:XO - Beyonce
  • Leo:Sail -Awolnation
  • Virgo:Stronger Than You - Estelle
  • Libra:Still Into You - Paramore
  • Scorpio:Karma Police - Radiohead
  • Sagitarius:My Number One - Paramore
  • Capricorn:Stay The Night - Zedd ft. Hayley Williams
  • Aquarius:My Love - Justin Timberlake
  • Pisces:Dance While I'm Drowning -Kimberly Freeman