who u should fight - the uk party leaders edition
1) Nigel farage - please fight him. please make him stop. u will probably win and he will probably cry and shout racist abuse at u. keep going. end this.
2) david cameron - you could probably take him, but he MIGHT become a lizard and he WILL fight dirty. if he wins he will boast about how this was all part of his long term economic plan and if he loses he will blame Tony Blair. fight him.
3) nick clegg - u will win but it will be a hollow victory. he is so tired. however, it might make u feel better about ur crippling student debt and dismantled welfare state, so go ahead.
4) ed milliband - why would u want to????? why would u ? you might win but pls don’t??
5) nicola sturgeon - DO NOT. u will LOSE and LOSE BADLY.
6) Natalie Bennett - you’ll win but you’ll also lose. like, morally.
7) Leanne wood - will fight you like she’s fighting the physical incarnation of poverty. she will not tire. but when she’s won she would take you to the side and talk about why you felt the need to fight in her wonderful voice, bandage ur wounds and kiss ur forehead.