fibs

Imitation of life

copy; Mothers Day 2013
Sir. Rudyard Snaggs
Photographed by
Grace Snaggs 1985

[8/9]

Days of our lives
As the world turned
Young and restlessness
That could of lead to general hospital
At 7
To get the message
Oppose to Dressage
at Devon
Life styles of the rich and more fortunate
Embraced
By fire place
Proportionate
Or laced
Air conditioned.
Commissioned
portraits
pantries
Cant be
More posher
Than Washer
Dryer spinning
Linen
Closets
Divorce was sin
Porcelain
Faucets
Persian rugs
Dragon claw tubs
Horeses win
Earned ribbons
Non Fibbing
Horse stables
Table
arrangements
Arranged with
An assortment
Of sorted
horticulture
Stored in my mental time silo
Along with Venus de milo
sculpture

On lying:

Oh man. This one’s a doozy. I’ll admit, I was a chronic liar. You remember Sam from Garden State? Yeah, that was me. Heart of gold but a little messed up in the head. My lies were stupid. They were like…white lies to preserve someone’s feelings or get out of an unwanted invite. My lies were more…excuses I suppose. “Hey Brittney do you want to go to the zoo?” If I didn’t want to go I’d make up some story. Sometimes, it was short and sweet. Sometimes, I’d say outrageous things and then wonder where the heck it came from. *shrugs* As I got older I stopped the lying and started saying what I thought if asked a serious question. Sarcasm..is different. Sometimes, I need sarcasm to make it through the day. I hope people know when I’m being sarcastic. If I find that someone can’t roll with the punches I seriously downplay it. I get quieter. Still though…lying has always been a funny quirk of mine. Did you like the food? Yeahhh it was nice. In my head I’m thinking…what the heck was that? I think that’s why I’m good at spotting fakes and liars. Takes one to know one. LOL

We Don't Believe Your Lies

We’ve all seen your lies… and we don’t believe them:

  • Retiring to spend more time with the family … means … Someone blackmailed you into resignation.
  • “I did NOT have sexual relations with ‘that’ woman” … means … “I DID have sexual relations with 'that’ woman”.
  • “I am NOT a crook” … means … “I am most definitely a crook”.
  • I’ll call you … means … Don’t call me.
  • Leave it with me … means … Go away so I can forget about it.
  • We’ll sort something out … means … Hopefully, we’ll never speak again.
  • I acted only within the law … means … I knew it was morally wrong, but it was technically legal, so screw you.
  • I thought building my second home was a legitimate expense … means … It was at the time, but the media shows me now that it isn’t.
  • The cheque is in the mail … means … We’re trying to get the money together, but you’re pretty low on the list.
  • Our community-enrichment programme is setting new standards of corporate responsibility … means … twice a year we force all our underlings to pay some of their wages to charity / maintain an allotment / volunteer in an 'urban’ area.
  • Our green operations policy puts us ahead of all our competition … means … We pollute just as much as our competitors, but we lease some rainforest in paraguay to 'offset’ our emissions.
  • I regret the situation and will institute appropriate processes to ensure such issues don’t occur in future … means … I’m sorry I got caught, and will make sure I am not caught again.
  • We believe in a healthy work-life balance … means … “90% Work + 10% Sleep” and we’re working on the sleep part now.
  • We need to tweak our unsustainable business model … means … Our overlords demand we squeeze our supply line for more money so they can buy more $10,000,000 New York apartments.

Next time you begin to lie… remember that people have heard ALL the lies before. Give it up and tell the truth, and you’ll be appreciated all the more for it.

OUTRAGED !

People Who Lie And Fuck Up Other Peoples Lives Should Die SLOW ! That Way They Know How Bad That Shit Hurts. Shit Aint Cool. I Call It WEAK ! And Then Whats Even Shitter Is Your Boyfriend Doubts You About It. It Fuckin Sucks To Know You Doin Everything Right And All Is Good But At The Words Of Other People Yo Actions Aint Fuckin Good Enough Anymore. Thats People For Your Ass. Just Shitty.