Dating someone with a chronic illness; A guide.

A small guide to dating someone with a chronic illness.

  1. Don’t just tell us you’re proud when we push ourselves to do a ‘normal’ task. Tell us you’re proud of us because we got through another day unscathed. Say you’re proud because we take everything in our stride. You’re proud because we survive.

  2. Sometimes, we don’t like to be touched. So when we feel like this just lie next to us so we know you’re there.

  3. Sometimes we also don’t like noise, so again, just lie quietly with us. Comfortable silences are exceptionally special and we appreciate them a whole lot more.

  4. We have this awful built up guilt about being ill and not being able to do ‘normal’ tasks and ‘normal’ activities. Sometimes this comes out as upset, or anger. Be patient with us and explain that no matter what, you’re there. But only say these things if you mean it. Saying them and then doing the opposite will be even more of a blow to our insecurity.

  5. Making us a meal, or bringing us food / drink is one of the most simple but unconditionally loved things you can do.

  6. Finding out about our conditions of your own accord is really truly wonderful. However, remember that we know EVERYTHING and most of the ‘advice’ you can offer, are things we’ve heard, and tried, a thousand and one times before. Just understanding it a little more is enough for us.

  7. This may be more of a personal one, but please don’t put your life on hold for us. As much as we appreciate you staying home with us on occasion, if there’s something you want to do and we can’t, we’re not going to begrudge you going and doing so. We want you to live your life to the fullest, and we’d never want you to feel guilty about this and doing the things we can’t.

At the end of the day, if we’ve accepted you into our lives and disclosed our complete self, illnesses and all, then we most definitely care for you.

Feel free to add more on to this guys! These were all my brain fogged mind could currently think of.

Fibromyalgia please reblog and spread awareness

Pain in every muscle and the profound exhaustion are not symptoms that people can see, but they are real and may be devastating for the person with fibromyalgia.

Given that the symptoms may be similar to a viral flu, experts in the field of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome believe that these two illnesses may be one and the same.

Pain - Fibromyalgia pain has no boundaries. People describe the pain as deep muscular aching, throbbing, shooting, stabbing, or intense burning. Quite often, the pain and stiffness are worse in the morning, and muscle groups that are used repetitively may hurt more. In addition, the severity of regional pains (particularly those in the head, neck, shoulders and lower back) are a strong predictor of a person’s overall pain rating. The muscles in these painful areas can feel tight, knotted and rope-like. Pressing on the firm, knotted region hurts and often causes the pain to shoot to other muscles when a myofascial trigger point is present.

Fatigue - This symptom can be one of the most incapacitating for people with fibromyalgia. Patients may feel as though their arms and legs are weighted down by concrete blocks and their bodies may be so drained of energy that every task is an effort.

Memory and Concentration - Difficulty concentrating and retaining new information may seriously interfere with everyday mental tasks This symptom is referred to as “fibro fog” and may hinder job opportunities. In particular, fibromyalgia patients have serious difficulty retaining new information if they are distracted.

Sleep Disorders - Patients report trouble falling asleep and more importantly staying asleep, but the unrefreshing quality is what makes the disorder much worse than insomnia. Repeat arousals prevent patients from reaching deep, restorative sleep. As a result, the night is spent in “quasi-sleep” and patients wake up feeling as though they have been run over by a Mack truck. An overnight sleep study will likely show repeat arousals with bursts of awake-like brain activity occurring throughout the night, but a specific sleep disorder may not be identified.

Exercise Difficulties - Moderate intensity exercise activates a powerful pain-relieving system in healthy people, but it makes the pain of fibromyalgia worse. This is why initiating an exercise program may make you achy and tired. However, if you do not exercise on a regular basis, the performance of normal daily living activities will start to cause more pain. Rather than give in to the increased pain sensitivity related to exercise, patients are advised to do mild exercise in short intervals (such as five minutes at a time) to keep the muscles fit while not over-taxing them. A study in Sweden revealed that half of the fibromyalgia patients found it impossible or difficult to climb stairs and a majority of patients could not run. Just standing for five minutes was extremely taxing to one-fourth of the patients.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome - Constipation, diarrhea, frequent abdominal pain and bloating, abdominal gas, and nausea represent symptoms commonly found in roughly 40 to 70 percent of fibromyalgia patients.

Chronic Headaches - Recurrent migraine or tension headaches are experienced by 50 to 70 percent of fibromyalgia patients. Most headaches are rated as severe, occur at least two times per week, and often have a migraine component. Referred pain from myofascial trigger points in the shoulder, neck, and head muscles are suspected to be responsible for most tension-type headache and also play a role in migraines.

Jaw Pain - Temporomandibular joint dysfunction causes tremendous jaw-related face and head pain and affects one-quarter of fibromyalgia patients. Typically, the problems are related to the muscles and ligaments surrounding the jaw joint and not necessarily the joint itself.

Other Common Symptoms - Non-cardiac chest pain, acid reflux, irregular heart beat or palpitations, shortness of breath, numbness and tingling sensations, the feeling of swollen extremities, chemical sensitivities, nasal congestion, premenstrual syndrome and painful periods, irritable bladder, interstitial cystitis, vulvodynia (vulvar pain), difficulty focusing eyes, dry or burning eyes and mouth, dizziness or feeling faint, profuse sweating, muscle weakness and balance issues can occur. Fibromyalgia patients are often sensitive to odors, loud noises, bright lights, some foods, and often the medications that they are prescribed.

Aggravating Factors - Changes in weather, cold or drafty environments, hormonal fluctuations (premenstrual and menopausal states), stress, depression, anxiety, and over-exertion can all contribute to fibromyalgia symptom flare-ups.

Source: http://www.afsafund.org/fibromyalgia.html

Things people should stop fucking saying

Me: “I have chronic fatigue syndrome”
People: “oh I get tired sometimes too!”

Me: “I have chronic migraines”
People: “oh I get headaches sometimes too!”

Me: “I have irritable bowl syndrome, gastritis and other stuff”
People: “oh I get stomach aches sometimes too!”

Me: “if sometimes have to use a cane because I can’t walk”
People: “oh my feet start hurting sometimes too!”

Me: “I have fibromyalgia and chronic pain disorders”
People: “oh my body is sore sometimes too!”

Others: “I have depression”
People: “oh I get sad sometimes too!”