this is where i lose more followers.

i’ve been complaining for a long time about how ridiculous i find femmecon to be, but yesterday i actually felt myself starting to get mad. because the queer community is, by far, the most mobilized around conferences which center around dress / individualism & there’s such little internal critique within online queer spaces, so of course radfems decided to pick up the slack & talk about how feminiziation - not fucking “femmephobia” ugh - is an extension of patriarchal oppression. because none of the social justice heros in our communities were fucking doing it. because even queer communities fucking hate women. we (anti-essentialist gay / queer folks on the internet esp from progressive backgrounds) sorta allowed it to get to this point by not talking about material realities and concerns for fear of gender exclusivity or not using the correct language. and of course, radfems took advantage of our silence to manipulate material realities talk to spread transphobic messages of anatomical determinism.  it’s just really fucking sad to me, and i think it’s really fucking dangerous how divisive we have allowed the split between “radical queer” and “radical feminist” to become. neither “side” seems capable of validating what others are going through, listening empathetical, treating others as they want to be treated but also addressing that patriarchy is a major force which teaches us how to navigate certain social interactions, contort our bodies & structure our personal narratives. can my new address be over a hill, under a rock?
What is Femme?

The 2014 Steering Committee defines Femme as being an intimate, personal connection with femininity. It is queer and often deliberate. Femme is purposeful, tender, fierce, subversive and belongs to *anyone* touched by it. It informs and is informed by our other identities – including but not limited to race, body size, shape, gender, sexuality, ability, age, class, or community. This can connect into other areas of our life – like our relationships, art, activism, day-to-day presentation, and beyond. But perhaps the best thing about femme is that it’s open-ended, alchemic, and creative – a creative force that gives us great power to draw upon while living in an often painfully racist, cissexist, femmephobic world. For some femme is intentional, for others it’s an accident, and sometimes it’s who we were right from the beginning. The point is – if “femme” resonates with you in any way, as a word, for whatever reason right now, then it is yours. It is all of ours. Femme is who we are in our hearts.

If anything we have written above speaks to you, or if you want to help us expand our definition of femme, please fill out an application and join our steering committee!

such an amazing weekend of putting on the Femme Conference. I am so grateful that I got to work with such amazing people on the steering committee, my femme family! The process of putting this event together has been so incredible and all the hard work paid off. Thank you so much to all who came out!