When we are girls,
they hand us dolls and say
“Be like this.”
Pretty.
Pliable.
Silent.
We grow up holding glassy eyed fantasies
Taught early on that we will never be as perfect as what we are asked to be.

When we are no longer girls,
but not yet women,
they hand us razors and say
“Run these across your skin.”
We learn that our bodies are intrinsically wrong
And when we tear ourselves open trying to scrape away the inadequacy they’ve forced on us
They act shocked.

When we are women,
they hand us shame and say
“Here. This is yours to carry.”
So we drape it around our necks
like a scarf
And the furious proclamations that rise in our throats
stay trapped just below our tongues.

But I am not made of porcelain.
Take your dolls back.
I am not yours to shatter.
I will take the razors that they handed me and use them
to tear the shame from my neck
because I’ll be damned if
“woman”
and “shame”
are synonyms.

I will be part of the generation that hands my girls
steel.
And says,
“Be like this.”
Strong.
Immovable.
Shining.
They will grow up seeing that they do not have to bend,
that if someone tries to break them they will not do so silently.
The generation that teaches our girls
that they were made to withstand storms,
and that they are no one’s to hold.

How I will raise my kids.
— 

1.) My daughter will never be taught that a boy being mean to her means that he likes her.

2.) My son will not be taught to make fun of a girl if he likes her. He will be taught to be nice to her and try to be her friend.

3.) My daughter will never be shamed for her body. She will never see me shaming MY body. A girl with a confident mother, has a good idea of what body positivity is at a young age. She will never see me shame another woman for what she looks like.

4.) I dare my son to call her fat or ugly. That thought should barely cross his mind. But if it does, he’ll keep his comments to himself.

5.) Sex will not be taboo. it will not be strange to talk about. They will understand it, how it works, and there bodies once they’re mature enough.

6.) My daughter will never feel less of a person for having sex. She will be taught to never let a comment like “slut” or “whore” keep her from doing a completely natural thing. She’ll understand that she can come to me when she is ready, and I will give her the protection she needs.

7.) If my son calls a girl a slut or treats a girl with less respect because of the amount of partners she has, he can say goodbye to all his friends and all his stuff became that just won’t be tolerated.

8.) Consent will be taught by the time they can walk. My daughter has the rights to her body. She can say “please don’t touch me” without being scared or uncomfortable. My son will be taught to always ask to hug a girl or touch a girl in any ways. Sexually or not, consent will be extremely important.

9.) My son and daughter will understand that depression runs in the family. That there is absolutely no shame in asking for help.

10.) yelling and hitting doesn’t solve anything. Yelling will be kept to a minimum and hitting is what cavemen do.

11.) if my son wants to do ballet, he can do ballet. If he wants to wear pink, sparkly shoes, he can wear pink, Sparkly shoes. If he hates pink and only likes monster trucks and wrestling, then that’s the coolest thing ever. He can be whoever he wants and that’s amazing.

12.) My daughter can play t-ball and she can wear her dads or brothers clothes. She can tell me she absolutely hates piano lessons and refuses to wear a dress on picture day. I won’t tell her she isn’t girly or feminine enough. I won’t tell her she looks like boy as if it’s a bad thing.

13.) Sexuality and gender expression is encouraged and nothing you are or choose to be regarding either is bad. If my son comes to me saying he’s Gay, I’ll hug him and say I’m proud. If my daughter comes home holding Susie Q’s hand, I’ll hug them both and say I’m proud. We will celebrate when they realize who they are. Straight and cisgendered included.

14.) They will be raised to be tolerant, but to stand up for what’s wrong. Other people having different opinions is okay. No matter how ridiculous it is. other religions are okay. No religion is okay. conservative opinions or liberal opinions are okay. It’s not okay when those opinions lead to wrong-doing and hateful comments.

15.) Neither of them are ever going to think that when a female has sex, she will get “loose.” They will have a complete understanding of the human body and how it works when they’re old enough. They will have correct and healthy sex and body education.*

Something people need to realize

When a women tells her rape story, saying ‘not all men do that’ won’t make the situation any better.

Men get raped too, but some dont reported because there are assholes who think that getting raped shouldn’t be something a men should complain about

When a women tells you ‘no’ or ‘stop’, you do it.

When a man tells you ‘no’ or ‘stop’ you do it.

You can still be a feminist and want to have children and be a stay at home mom.

It’s okay if a man wants to stay home and take care of the kids while his wife is working. This ^ doesn’t make him any less of a man.

Just because a women wears revealing clothing doesn’t make her a slut, learn the definition of this over used word before your throw it a someone.

It’s okay if a woman likes sex

It’s okay if man likes sex

It’s not okay to judge someone based on their sex life, because frankly, this in no way affects you.

It’s not okay to hate someone based on their gender

It’s not okay to generalize a certain

Just because someone is a feminist doesn’t mean s/he is a misandrist

Just because a person is a anti feminist doesn’t mean s/he is a misogynist.

Women kill

Women rape

Men kill

Men rape

I’m a feminist, and I feel like a lot of people lose sight of the true definition of feminism; equality between women AND men.

Watch on optimistfeminist.tumblr.com

The Obvious Child (Trailer)

As a feminist, I had to watch this movie.  I never thought I’d like a romantic comedy but this one totally stole my heart.  <3

You know what doesn’t get talked about enough? How the writers and producers of The Walking Dead have managed to put out a show that has only gotten better every damn season and has added more and more representation for groups that normally never would have it on a wildly successful drama. There are seven main female characters next season. SEVEN. 2 of which are black, one of which is Hispanic, another a lesbian who happens to actually have a storyline about redemption as opposed to her sexuality. Also can we talk about the fact that Michonne, a strong, independent, black woman is actually being perceived as a love interest for the attractive white male lead???? THAT IS HUGE. Or how about Sasha ACTUALLY HAVING REALISTIC FEELINGS OF FEAR AND ANXIETY WHILE BEING STRONG AND A SURVIVOR HOLY SHIT ITS AMAZING A WOMAN CAN HAVE MULTIPLE LAYERS WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT. Or how about Maggie the hot chick. The one they could use every excuse to get naked and sexy but instead is always covered in grime and WHO CUT OPEN A WALKER TO LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR HER HUSBAND. A husband I might add that she has a very healthy and interesting marriage with. A husband who is the Asian Boy who really could have ended up as the comic relief but instead we find out that he is of Korean descent and was a pizza delivery boy, not some savant who knows kung fu but HE STILL MANAGES TO BE A BADASS WITOUT BEING A STEREOTYPE BECAUSE THAT IS A GREAT CHARACTER. Or how about Beth, sweet little Beth who manages to defy our expectations and show us a different kind of strength that is just as important as shooting a gun but is rarely valued in women on TV BECAUSE IT IS TOO FEMININE. Or Carol? The abused timid wife turned survivor who easily could have been killed off a dozen times by now but is TOO DAMN INTERESTING. THATS RIGHT A FEMALE CHARACTER THAT HAS A PSYCHOLOGY THE WRITERS ACTUALLY WANT TO EXPLORE. Then there is Tyresse, the huge muscular black guys who could be depicted in a thousand horrifying stereotypes but ISN’T. He’s an island of reason and stability. He stands up for justice in a world that has none. He is kind and protective and FORGIVING. HE HAS ACTUAL MOMENTS OF DOUBT AND WEAKNESS. Did I mention this was a black man on a show lead by a white cop in Georgia? And Bob. Bob, another black character (BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS SO OVER ITS TOKEN POC CHARACTER PHASE AND I LOVE IT) is a mystery, what are his motivations what are his loyalties WHO IS HE REALLY???? You want to know, they are actually doing something with this guy!!! And screw it, lets take a look at our Attractive White Male Leads for a second. Sure on the surface there is a whole lot of man-pain with a healthy dose of smoulder, but it’s been done in such a way THAT YOU ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT. Rick’s struggle to be a father and a leader and a good man in a world bound and determined to destroy him is fascinating and heartbreaking. ALL OF YOU WILL CRY WHEN HE SEES JUDITH AGAIN. He has had to evolve and change his mindset and morality to survive as opposed to the usual white male action hero thing where ‘it’s their rules now”. Even when Rick is using ‘his rules’ they are rules he has made because of the world and people around him. Then there is Daryl. My favorite, everyone’s favorite. Even if you hate him You love him just a little. The dirty, white trash boy who could have ended up at a horrible racist druggie like the writers initially wanted. But he didn’t. He ended up defying the Abused Kids Become Abusers trope and showing that yeah Abused Kids end up with wildly horrible psychological damage but they can also be nurturing, loyal, loving, and gentle. He on the surface is this muscle bound BADASS that all the ladies love but really? They have had him cry at least 3 times on the show, he’s desperate for approval and love and hopeless at knowing how to get it. I CRIED AT THE YOU ARE MY BROTHER LINE. Admit it The brotherhood of Rick and Daryl is so friggin sweet. Then there is Carl. Attractive White Male Lead in Training. Except he is probably the most realistic portrayal of a teenager on TV I have ever seen. Imagine being the emotional and hormonal mess you were as a teen, now imagination having to kill your mom, now imagine friggin zombies everywhere and an emotionally unavailable father. Yeah, stop hating on poor Carl, he’s doing the best he can.

ANYWAY THIS IS MY POST OF JOY BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THE WALKING DEAD IS COMING BACK AND IT HAS AMAZING CHARACTERS AND REPRESENTATION FOR SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE THAT DEFYS EXPECTATIONS AND YEAH I HAVE A LOT OF FEELS.

Welcome

My blog is a safe place for everyone, everyone is always welcome here, I want everyone, no matter who they are, to feel safe and loved. My blog is particularly a safe place for women, because I feel like women, all women, need a place to feel safe, loved, respected, and heard, and I want my blog to be a place where women, all women, feel they are always welcome, with open arms. Just wanted to say that.

as a feminist, it kind of irks me when other feminist say “I can’t believe some women think feminist hate men” or “i pity women who think feminism is about hating men”, because some feminists do hate men. I see “castrate all men” and “men deserve to die women don’t need them” and “men are disgusting scum” posts almost every day. Of course that isn’t what the feminist movement is about, but that is what it’s about for a small portion of it.

<p>I don’t think it’s fair to say “not all feminists” because when men tried to say “not all men” they were mocked and berated all over the Internet for trying to defend themselves. I think feminists need to recognize that there are toxic parts to their movement and not put other women down who don’t want to be a part of it.
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