Yr Not Sad, You Just Want Attention

What image comes to mind when you think of someone who has a mental illness? 

Yr Not Sad, You Just Want Attention by artist PJ Barker invites further questioning into the misunderstood teenage neurosis. Often, we assume that because a person looks a particular way, they must feel a specific way as well. Or, because of a person’s age, race, or gender, they are somehow incapable of feeling the true depth of certain emotions; thus resulting in harmful stereotypes such as the “overly emotional” teenage girl. Rather than treating mental disorders for what they are—normal occurrences as prevalent as the common cold—those afflicted are dismissed, shunned, and invalidated.

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New Delhi Gang Rape Convict Blames Victim For Attack: ‘She Shouldn’t Have Fought Back’

NEW DELHI (AP) — One of the men sentenced to death for raping and killing a woman in a brutal 2012 gang attack on a New Delhi bus said in a documentary that if their victim had not fought back she would not have been killed.

Instead, the 23-year-old woman should have remained silent, said Mukesh Singh, who was driving the bus for much of the time that the woman was being attacked.

As women continue to break into traditionally masculine professions and defend their right to exist in unsafe spaces, the rest of us have a responsibility to do more than cheer them from the sidelines. We should also make clear that we understand this work is hard, that it often takes an emotional toll, that there are no easy answers, and that, when they acknowledge their feelings and admit their struggles, they’re all the more badass for it. This wouldn’t just help women with challenging jobs or in dangerous situations. It would also benefit men who have long been expected to bury their emotional responses and carry on as if they are unaffected by trauma. It’s not “badass” to survive a horrible situation without shedding a single tear. The real badass move … is to fearlessly acknowledge how something has affected you and make space for others to do the same.

On Being a Badass – absolutely fantastic piece by Ann Friedman on “how tempting it is to fall into gendered, old-school definitions of toughness,” using the memoirs of two tough female conflict-zone journalists as the springboard for a broader meditation. Well worth reading

More than a century ago, pioneering Victorian journalist Nellie Bly actually demonstrated how to be a badass without succumbing to narrow definitions.

For the Ladies

I feel the internal struggle of being “enough” from women everywhere, mainly because I face the same struggles. For some reason, we have to be pretty or lady-like in manners & appearances that only society finds acceptable - but in doing these things (such as, but not limited to, having a hairless body, dolled up face, & answering to every man that demands it), we often deny ourselves the person that is truly us. So here’s what I have to say for every woman out there: don’t cover up that beautiful face if you don’t want to. Don’t force yourself to be someone you don’t want to be. No matter which way you twist it, we are women & every woman is beautiful & unique in their own way. So the next time you sigh in annoyance from upholding the standards of being a lady, ask yourself who you’re really doing it for & why. Who said you had to be this type of pretty or have that type of mannerism? If not you, then who? Why does it even matter?

The bad ass historical women we need to remember this month.

It’s officially Women’s History Month, which means it’s time to celebrate the many accomplishments that are so often looked over throughout the rest of the year.

Nellie Bly - Nellie Bly entered the journalism scene in an unabashedly feminist way, by submitting a letter to The Pittsburgh Dispatch that rebutted one writer’s diatribe about how women belonged in the home. An editor saw Bly’s potential and hired her in 1885. Just two years later, Bly famously posed as a mental patient on Blackwell’s Island for a New York World expose; a few years after, she that took a record-setting, 72-day trip around the world, writing about it for the same paper.

Agent 355 - Long before 007, there was 355. History books would do well to liven their account of the American Revolution by mentioning this member of the Culper Spy Ring, America’s first elite spy network. One of George Washington’s most valuable spies, the woman known only as “Agent 355” was likely the only one who could rock an evening gown while gathering information critical to the colonies’ achieving independence. 

Murasaki Shikibu - Little is known about the Japanese author credited with writing the world’s first modern novel, The Tale of Genji, other than that she certainly overcame plenty of obstacles to do so. Even her name is an invention, drawn from one of the novel’s characters and the author’s father’s job, according to Encyclopaedia Brittanica. Not only was Shikibu educated — a rarity for women at any point for most of history, but especially around the year 1010 — but she also became literate in both Japanese and Chinese.

Maria W. Stewart - Though her name is (unfortunately) not one often included in history books, Stewart can claim plenty of impressive firsts. She was the first American woman to speak to an audience of mixed genders and races, as well as one of the first African American woman to deliver any public speech at all.

Pauli Murray - Pauli Murray wore many hats, and each one was equally impressive. Murray became a civil rights lawyer in the late 1940s, a particularly impressive feat given that women in general, let alone black women, had been prohibited from becoming lawyers only decades before.

Read more about these women and 5 others we must never forget.


20 #DearMe Tweets With The Best Life And Dating Advice You’ll Ever Hear

March 8th is a very important day: International Women’s Day, a day to celebrate women all over the world. And if you know anything about Gurl, you know that we’re super excited for this. We’re all about celebrating women every single day of the year, so of course we’re all about a special day dedicated just to females.

But March 8th isn’t the only time to celebrate women. YouTube is getting a jump start on International Women’s Day with their #DearMe campaign. The #DearMe campaign encourages women and girls to share words of wisdom they would like to tell their younger selves – which translates to some seriously amazing advice that every girl needs to hear.

18 Things You Can Do While Waiting For Your Prince Charming

I don’t pretend to like Taylor Swift, but I definitely cringed when I heard that Lady Gaga had given her relationship advice on Twitter. Everyone exclaimed that it was “adorable” and “perfect” advice. As a fan of Gaga, I was intrigued. And I was very disappointed. 

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. This is not advice. And this is not cute. Not even a little bit. Have you ever had someone say something like that to you? The whole “Someday your prince will come” bit? It’s really obnoxious. People say things like this as if every single girl is just sitting around, twiddling her thumbs, and waiting for some guy to show up and rescue her. Well, guess what? That’s not happening!

Remember the brutal gang-rape of that poor girl in a bus in India 3 years ago, where she was left on the street to die after hours of torture?

Well, one of the guys convicted literally said “She should have been silent and accepted it, girls need to be taught a lesson, they shouldn’t be out at night anyways”

I’m… I have no words. I’m sitting here and clenching my fists and crying horrible tears of frustration and anger. How?? How can some people be so….. monstrous? Fuck. Fuck life. I literally hate being Indian right now. Like fuck people like these need to be castrated and burnt.

Dear anti-feminists,

How about instead of denouncing the entire feminist movement for some of the “bad effects” from it, you join the movement and work to fix these problems from the inside out? Being against feminism doesn’t change anything, but solving the facets of feminism that cause these problems does.