I want women to stop feeling subconsciously pressured into acting as uncomplicated, laid back and far from the stereotype “annoying girlfriend” as possible.
I want women to stop priding themselves on not being “like other girls”, on not “hiding behind makeup”, on being “like a dude”.
I want women to stop ridiculing “skinny bitches” that order small salads at a steakhouse just as much as “fat cows” that obviously “let themselves go”.
I want women to stop trying so hard to be different from what “most women” are like in front of a potential male partner solely to impress him.
Women are raised to believe they’re in a constant competition with other females. We never even question it. The questions that really bother us are: Who of us is prettier? Who of us is skinnier? Who is more succesful? Has the better warderobe? Makes more money? Who of us gets the guy?
We try to distance ourselves from all the negative prejudices that are associated with women to impress men and to come off like a good catch, like a keeper.
And this isn’t even our fault.
It’s the fault of the disappointingly tiring binary society we grew up in.
Everything that’s typically male is cool, funny, dorky, and even if it’s a negative characteristic, it’s still made out to be adorable in a way. Our society has a thing for romanticizing bad traits in males, whether they go to extremes, such as fueling the “sexy” hysteria revolving around an emotionally and physically abusive character like ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’s Christian with more “love stories” on twisted doms with a soft spot for shy girls or whether they stick to a less provocative, more relatable behaviour: There’s award winning TV shows that glorify immature, antisocial and rude men, portraying them as the heroes of the somehow still succesful same damn underdog - storyline of every other sitcom and we feel compassion for those “stupid little boys” who don’t know how to cook or do their laundry instead of indignation, which we’d feel if Howard Wolowitz and the other members of Sheldon Cooper’s clique were women.
Everything that’s typically female is nerve-wracking and complicated. We’re bitchy, clingy, weird and fake. We’re liars, sluts and prunes. We’re too emotional. Too loud. Too insecure. Too fat. Too thin. We’re probably PMSing.
Who wants to be associated with a stereotype that makes females look like a burden to their male partner on the emotional basis and a toy on the sexual one?
So, we try to distance ourselves from all that. After all, it seems so wrong. And we want to be right, don’t we? Right in the eyes of the men we’re attracted to. And we want them to be attracted to us, too.
It’s a common thing to advertise yourself by saying “I’m not like other women.” when you are, in fact like other women.
And that’s what’s wrong.
Being a woman on the other hand isn’t.
We don’t contribute to the destruction of gender roles by bashing everything that is associated with womanhood.
Women are strong. Women are wonderful. Women are beautiful. No matter our skin colour, shape, weight, height, whether we’re disabled, physically or mentally ill, whether we have “typically female” traits or whether we act like society’s stereotype of a man would, whether we order a salad or two McChickens and large fries, whether we’re into skirts and makeup or sweatpants and a beanie.
As long as you identify as a woman, you should never be ashamed of being one.
Especially not in front of a potential male partner.
Because a man that says he doesn’t like how “most women” are, is obviously just too immature to cope with the fact that “most women” really have an individual character, own preferences and characteristics, and that they come with more than what men wish to see and lay their hands on.
And a man that doesn’t acknowledge that each of us women is a unique, wonderful being with needs, a true goddess that should strive for self-love and pride instead of the pleasure of those who are too lazy to look beyond doesn’t deserve to be with a woman in first place.