some trans thoughts from this bun:
iiiiiii have been struggling with a thing for a while and thats changing my name?? when i was trying to be genderfluid i went by haden when i was super boyish because its much more of a neutral but still cute name u know! but i stopped because i always felt real bad after trying to be boyish… i got really embarrassed and my family made fun of me and i never felt like i was doing it right and i felt like i was lying some days
but i LOVE my nb pronouns (even though she/her and he/him dont?? bother me and i like sometimes!) and i’m starting to really accept myself as nonbinary and while sometimes its hard to be like “im trans” and… believe myself, i’m getting there. its hard to remind myself that im still trans in a dress, still trans in high heels picking out lipsticks curling my longish hair dressed in all pink! you know?
i always skirt around this… and i never outright ask anyone to call me this name because i feel like i’m faking and doing things for attention even though its what i want… but when i move out, i think i’m going to be stricter with my pronouns. there are days when i like being called she, being a girl, but on days when i dont im going to start telling people. and when i move out i’m definitely going to have people start calling me haden.
it’s hard to break out of the gender binary but i’m going to make an effort!! so i guess what i’m saying is, if anyone wants to ease me back in to calling me haden that’d be ok :x