fat-sexuality

New zine!! Complicating Veganism is a compilation zine edited by Nicole Davis and Clementine Morrigan. Eleven contributors complicate veganism by considering it in conjunction with disordered eating, mental health, trauma, sexual violence, autism, intersectionality, capitalism, colonialism, food justice, fat activism, sexual orientation and other topics. The goal of this zine is to undermine the single-issue oriented approach that much vegan activism takes, to call into question oppressive tactics that vegan activism uses and to open up the conversation about veganism in a way that is complex, intersectional and focused on justice. We are also seeking submissions for a second issue to continue the conversation. This zine will be up for sale at http://clementinemorrigan.com/store #zines #vegan #veganism #complicatingveganism #foodjustice

Researcher Looking for Self-Identified Fat Young Adults of Color

Fat studies researcher looking to pay $10 to self-identified fat young adults of color for interviews on fat identity, sexuality, race, and the Internet.

Hello everyone!

My name is Philippe Fradet and I am a graduate student at San Francisco State University in the Sexuality Studies program. I am seeking participants for a study with self-identified fat young adults of color who currently live in the United States. I’m looking to interview people of any gender and sexual identity, of any socioeconomic background, and of any physical and mental ability status. Interviews in this study will focus on four topics:
· fat identity, including self-acceptance and personal histories;
· sexuality, including sexual identity, sexual practices, and sexuality as a fat individual;
· race, including the interactions of race, fat identity, and sexuality;
· and the Internet, including how the Internet is used to build community and support.

If you are interested in participating in this research or if you have any questions, you can contact me either by email at pfradet@mail.sfsu.edu or by sending me an “ask” or “submission” on my Tumblr (fatdisid.tumblr.com) with your Tumblr account.

When you contact me, please let me know a bit about yourself and your interest in the project. In order to participate in this study, you must identify as a fat person of color and be between the ages of 18 and 25. Participants will be given a $10 gift card to Amazon.com for participating in the project. All interviews will be conducted using the voice chatting or phone call features of Skype, which means anyone in the United States is welcome to participate. Your name and participation in the project will be kept confidential, and you can contact me with any questions. I will be posting any pressing questions about the project on this blog.

Thank you for your interest!

 

Philippe Fradet
Master’s Candidate
Sexuality Studies Department
San Francisco State University
fatdisid.tumblr.com
fatdisid@gmail.com
(415) 799-7109

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a small rant on the “ok but if boys have to like fat girls, why is it ok for girls to say they wanna date guys over 6 feet???” arguments that I see self-identified ‘meninists’ use to claim that men are subjected to the same ridiculous beauty standards women are

The Nikki Parker Trope

When a Fat Black Woman is made into an aggressive and hypersexualized predator for comic relief, and has their sexual/romantic agency be mocked, erased and or dehumanized. Fat Black Women aren’t allowed to be seen with sexual agency unless it means them being mocked for it, they’re especially are denied being romanticized and usually have their affections be unrequited. 

Often times in media, whether it be television or movies anytime a Fat Black Woman is made a character she is most likely to be placed in the role of mammy. But sometimes she is placed in the field of a Nikki Parker trope. Which I consider a subset of a Mammy trope.

Where because she is fat and black, what would be normally seen as a seductive, sexy, or flirtatious personality that is romanticized in fiction becomes perceived as desperate, and over aggressive. Like the Mammy trope Fat Black Women’s sexualities, and the privilege of being romanticized is erased, because of their Fatness and being a Black Woman. Any affections that a Fat Black Woman character will feel, or experience is used for comedic effect and is mocked.

I call this the Nikki Parker trope because as a Fat Black Woman her character is the best representation and most popular example of this. Nikki was portrayed as hyperaggressive, she would violate personal boundaries, of Professor Oglevee, she was subjected to verbal abusive behavior from Professor Olgevee. Her aggressive behavior would be used as a way to invalidate her gender, to portray her as a mentally unstable person. Professor Olgevee often refereed to her as “Crazy” “Nutcase” “Psycho” and “Lunatic”. She was fat shamed, and her sex appeal was viewed as disgusting.

This trope perpetuates that not only are Fat Black Women should be mocked for wanting love, but also that the idea of a Fat Black Woman being centered as the romantic lead is nothing sort but absurd. It also promotes the ideal that Fat Black Woman who are confident in themselves are not only delusional, but as being overaggressive for pursuing a romantic, or sexual relationship.

Unlike Fat White Women, they are allowed to be romanced, in fact them being allowed to be sexual, or to be flirtatious is seen as progressive, and feminist. Unlike Fat White Woman their experiences in being fat, and a woman is met with empathy, and compassion. They are allowed to be sexual, and romanced, because it’s feminist.

Some examples are:

  • Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly)
  • Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect),
  • Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
  • Lena Dunham (Girls)
  • Sharon Rooney (My Mad Fat Diary)
  • Nikki Blonksy and Ricki Lake (Hairspray)
  • Marissa Jaret Winokur (Beautiful Girl)
  • Toni Collette (Muriel’s Wedding)
  • Roseanne Bar (Roseanne)

Other examples of the Nikki Parker Trope in Media:

  • Kim Parker (Moesha and her crush for Hakeem.)
  • Dijonay Jones (the Proud Family and her crush for Sticky.)
  • Baby Dee (Next Friday, her crush for Craig.)
  • Gail (Jill Scott) (Baggage Claim hypersexualized for comedy.)
  • Coretta Cox (Steve Harvey Show her crush on Romeo.)
  • Ormandy (Deliver Us From Eva hypersexualized for comedy.)
  • Andell Wilkerson (the Parkers hypersexualized and seen as desperate.)
  • Rita (Friday, her romantic attraction to Smokey.)
  • Amber Riley (Glee, her crush on Kurt.)
  • Gabourey Sidibe (AHS:Coven, the Minotaur.)

Positive examples of Fat Black Women in Media being romanced, or sexual affections being acknowledged.

  • Khadjah James (Living Single)
  • Donna Meagle (Parks and Recreation)
  • Jazmin Biltmore (Phat Girlz)
  • Raven Baxter (That’s So Raven.)
  • Leslie Wright (Just Wright.)
  • Francine (Brown Sugar)
  • Gloria Matthews (Waiting to Exhale.)
  • Georgia Byrd (the Last Holiday)
  • Gina Norris (Beauty Shop)  
  • Cleo (Set If Off)
  • *Sheila (Why Did I Get Married.)

I put an asterisk by Sheila because it’s Tyler Perry and his portrayl of Black Women especially Fat Black Women is immensely problematic, but also he did actually have a Fat Black Woman be romanticized.

P.S Take note of how many times Queen Latifah’s characters are repeated on this list. Also if you’re asking why the list is so short is because it also speaks to the lack of representation Fat Black Women are given, and furthermore even if they are given representation, often times they are just desexualized, and for the most part their love life, or romance isn’t explored or seen as existing.

2

Every Thursday we run a feature on Chubstr called Answerland. It’s basically a way for us to answer some of the questions we get from readers on a regular basis. The questions we get cover everything from food to fashion to sex. 

Last year, the amazing Hanne Blank asked me to write a blurb for the revised edition of her book, Big Big Love. If you’ve got questions about love, sex, or intimacy as it relates to being a person of size, I definitely recommend this book. You’d be hard pressed to come up with a question that isn’t somehow addressed within its pages. Learn more about the book at Chubstr, and follow Hanne on Twitter

There’s nothing I’d love more than to have a BHM/feedee who loves his belly… and who also loves to connect just as a human being. I want to talk to him about anything, nothing, life… and show him how sexy he is. His interests and little quirks will be important to me. I want him to know that I love his belly because it’s how I’m wired, but most of all because it’s HIS belly. Feeding him will be about nothing more than making him happy. I want my big man’s body to be symbolic of his big heart.

So like, I’m fine at playing along with the “girl talk” and whatever you call that when you’re all “OMG I would soooo do him. He’s fucking HOTTT” but then when we’re being real with how and who I’m attracted to it’s different because I feel like I have to really know someone and connect with them before I can really develop any romantic/sexual feelings. And then this leaves me in the awkward pool of being super confused because I can’t tell if I’m trying to befriend someone, or if I’m crushing on them.

Then there’s the awkwardness of last night where I may have had someone outwardly say they were flirting with me. But it was a joke. And idk. I’m usually the type to be like HAHAHA NO LIKES ME EVER so I don’t even think it’s possible. And on one hand, maybe I’m leading them on (though things felt awkward when I left, so that may be done) and on the other hand, maybe I want to lead them on because I’m attracted to them (but I don’t know if I can and I don’t want to be an asshole).

For basically all my life I’ve never had crushes returned so the idea that maybe, just maybe, I’m not completely delusional is putting me in a weird state.

[CW diet talk, discussion of consensual sex]

Two recent films, Nymphomaniac and Concussion, spend ample time exploring the marginalized sexualities of their (thin) female protagonists. Joe (Charlotte Gainsboug/Stacy Martin), the titular character of von Trier’s epic, labels herself as a nymphomaniac and constructs her life around her insatiable libido; Abby (Robin Weigert), the heroine of Passon’s directorial debut, is a lesbian who subverts her life as a mainstream upper middle-class homemaker by involving herself in sex work. Both women have fat sex partners over the course of their respective stories, neither of whom function as a source of comedy or disgust.

things that made me hate men

  • getting catcalled starting when i was 13
  • creepy old men at the library who comment on my appearance while im trying to do my fucking job
  • men who use their strength and size as an intimidation tactic to manipulate me
  • going to stand up shows and hearing 100 jokes where fat women are dehumanized and humiliated by male comedians
  • the time that guy threw a bottle at me from his car and yelled at me for being fat
  • that guy who sexually harassed me for 3 years and then denied it because he “wouldnt fuck a fat girl”
  • walking my coworker to her car because a male patron left her a love letter and you can never be too careful
  • the guy who bothers my boss every single morning at my job and tells her how beautiful she is despite the fact she constantly tells him she is married
  • in fact literally any situation where a man traps a girl into communicating with him and entertaining his flirtations because she is in a service position and expected to be nice no matter what

things that did not make me hate men

  • feminist tumblr posts

I just wrote a really bad 2 page front and back poem about my experiences with internalized hate due to fat shaming women a shit ton due to patriarchal standards of beauty plus experiences with sexual assault and abuse because i was super inspired by a “take back the night” march i went to.
Hopefully i can make it better/shorter for next year to preform and make it more empowering “yeah i took back my body y'alll we can all take back whats ours” cause i dont want to have a pity party, i’m not about that life

Things I don't like about the Kuroshitsuji fandom
  • <p><b>01:</b> It wasn't supposed to be yaoi, not even hardcore yaoi. Just because Yana has written some yaoi doesn't mean all her works must fit in that genre. One thing is plot and another fanservice. Saying that Kuro is yaoi because Yana drew that in the past is like saying that Hellsing is hentai because Kohta Hirano drew it before.<p/><b>02:</b> You can not ship Sebaciel and the world will be okay. In fact, as long as you know how to separate fiction from reality, ship whatever you want in the series. But they'll be that, fiction.<p/><b>03:</b> People have more difficulties accepting Grell as trans and Diederich as fat than they have sexualizing Ciel and/or Alois.<p/><b>04:</b> There is no need of slicing throats whenever someone talks shit about a pairing or character. Not everybody likes the same things and that's fine.<p/><b>05:</b> I've seen too many times how all the dark themes on Kuro are dumped away to make more place for the fluff. It's fine but what fluff? The serie is settled on Victorian England and that wasn't wine and roses and sparkles...<p/></p>

it’s illegal for gay people to get married in 14 states. they can’t marry due to biblical objections against something entirely natural in which they have no say as people don’t choose their sexuality. yet fat marriage is legal in all 50 states despite biblical objections to gluttony.

if you’re going to write laws in accordance with some 2000 year old book of tales written by a bunch of jews then don’t half arse it and pick and choose the parts that support your fucked up values, you’ve also got to ban the consumption of ham at certain times of the year and kill your children if they swear at you.

Tagged by xxchinatown

Name on Tumblr: HazeGod

Date and Location: 04/27/2015 5:10PM Indianapolis, IN

Last thing I googled: Fat Asses

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Straight with a Dash Of Loving Big Booty Strippers

One place that makes me happy: Beauty Supply Store

Tag followers I wanna get to know: SHIT EVERYBODY

A strangers face

Everyday I try to find you, I look for you in the faces of strangers. Your likely not among them, but still I look. I spend my days imagining meeting you. I imagine what you look like, your personality, how we would first meet.

In my mind I see you as a young attractive man of 32 years or younger, with an slim, average to athletic body. I don’t see you as a heavy set man, while heavyset woman can be quite attractive to me depending her facial features, I don’t find heavyset or fat men to be sexually attractive. I see us going on hiking trips in the mountains, going camping and hunting. A heavyset man wouldn’t be able to do these things with me, you will be able to though.

In terms of your height I see in you my mind as a black or white male who is the same height as me or just a little shorter. If you’re taller than me that would be okay too, just don’t be too tall because then our mate and I would have a hard time kissing you whenever we want. Your personality compliments mine and we both balance out our mate’s personality. You and I are both slow to anger, which helps us calm our mate when she is angry or distressed. You and I being horny all the time will be able to take care of each other needs during the times our mate is unwilling or unable to provide us with pleasure even though we strive to bring her the most pleasure. Your attraction to black woman borders on the verge of obsession like mine, especially when it comes to a black pregnant woman or looking at a dark black pussy with a bright pink entrance that was made for your cock and cum. Our mate being black drives you wild. You love the contrast of her pink inner core to her black labia lips as much as I.

I find white men and black men to be the most of attractive so I know that when I find you, you’ll either be white or black or mixed. Our mate has the same preference, she enjoys white men the most. Our mate is unable to handle long cocks, so your cock will be like mine, about 6” average in length but it will be very thick and it’s girth will stretch me as well as our mate. You’re versatile & completely bisexual just like me, making bedroom fun exciting and since our triad is a monogamous one we don’t need to worry about condoms allowing us to breed each other along with our mate. I can’t wait for the first time you mark me with your seed or seeing you spray your baby into our mate. Our impregnation fetish is insatiable along with our desire for bareback sex. You like our mate and I hate drugs of any capacity and while the occasional celebratory drink might be in order for the most part alcohol isn’t part of your life.

I don’t know how we’ll meet but imagine meeting you at an event or in a place where we both have common interests or we’ll possibly find each other online and then we’ll meet.

When it comes to introducing you to our mate, I’m not sure how we’ll proceed. We’ll need to be careful at bringing you into the fold. I wish I had met you first so that we could have found our mate together.

If you are reading this, please get in touch with me, so that we can begin our journey in this life. I hope that you are as I have described above and that our triad will be the most fulling relationship of our lives.

submiami asked:

submissive, fag here. i have been starting to think about gaining, as a form of humiliation. Do you have any experience and/or interest in that? i envision a Dom Feeder forcing me to gain...

Hmmm. Well after looking at your Tumblr, it seems that YOUR fetish is more about all sorts of sexual humiliation in general (which is totally fine) and not specifically about getting fat. My sexuality is exclusively about the idea of being with someone fat who wants to get (much, much) fatter. Yes, I think that humiliation/joking about getting fatter, splitting your pants, not fitting into seats, using nicknames like “pig”, etc. comes into play sometimes, but people in our community don’t “get off” from just humiliation–it’s all specifically related to being fat, getting fat, or wanting to help someone get fatter. Fat is not humiliating–we think it’s very sexy and attractive and it’s what elicits our sexual arousal. That being said, if you personally want to look into it as a form of “humiliation”…hey, go for it. I’m very open-minded about sexuality as long as it’s consensual. I hope that helps!