it feels too good
until the end
when the emotions
kill me instead.
—  drugs.

november 14

anonymous asked:

What does Bucky feed chubby Steve? Like when they're first starting out and Steve's metabolism is only jusssst beginning to give? And later when they've cracked it and Steve's pants are getting a little tight? And even later when his belly starts entering the room before him and all his clothes are uncomfortable and his face starts chunking up and he asks all self-conscious, "Hey Buck, how d'you think I'd look with a beard," to which Bucky chucks him under his cute double chin and says "Stupid."

A lot of pasta and potatoes and such loaded with extra cheese and butter. Anything as heavy as they can get it, with weight gain powders mixed in. Steve’s not really into protein shakes, and none of this is worth it if he isn’t enjoying himself, but he will drink thick milkshakes made with cream and whole cartons of ice cream and candy bars all blended together into a barely-liquid slurry. It takes a lot of effort to gulp it down, especially on top of two full pans of mac n’ cheese (with four sticks of butter, more heavy cream, and at least three different kinds of cheese), but he’ll do it. He likes to eat a lot of veggies, because he misses that crisp texture and he won’t get full no matter how much he eats. Bucky will set out a full party platter with a big bowl of cheese sauce and another of ranch dressing, and he’ll manage to clean it all during the course of the movie. Occasionally Steve will chug beer or soda, mostly for the satisfaction of feeling his belly swollen so full, and to stretch it out for a big meal later, but for the most part he and Bucky find bloating to be a waste of their time. Steve’s appetite demands calories, and if they want to overload it, it’s going to take a hell of a lot of food. 

He also carries power bars with him, the kind that are meant to power bodybuilders, and he’ll eat them like fun-sized candybars, just plowing through them while he sits on his ass watching baseball with Bucky.

It gets frustrating for him, when his jaw is tired and he’s just fucking sick of eating. But that’s when Bucky curls up beside him to stroke his belly and hand-feed him the rest, peppering his jaw with kisses and promising that it’ll all pay off soon, it’ll be so fucking worth it when he can look in the mirror and see the guy he’s always wanted to.

The first time Steve realizes that he’s got a bit of a bulge that remains even after a mission, when he hasn’t had a chance to eat in hours and he’s starving, everything in him fully digested, Bucky sets up a line of gallon buckets of ice cream to celebrate. The first one Steve eats with a spoon, and they figure out the right pace for Steve to be about ready to start eating again by the time he demolishes one. The last one is liquid, and he ends up chugging it while Bucky strokes his throat like a kitten, encouraging him to gulp it all down.

They keep it up with all of Steve’s favorites (he’s really fond of hash-brown casserole and just piles of bacon, lasagna sprinkled with appetite enchancers), but they don’t push it quite so hard. Now that he’s starting to properly put on weight, they take the time to figure out what he likes best and what feels best for him. He can’t be sluggish and overstuffed all the time, not if he wants to keep doing his job (which he desperately does), so they do some trial and error, figuring out what he can recover from quickly while still packing himself with plenty of calories.

When he’s properly fat, well. Steve eats whatever the hell he wants, whenever the hell he wants. He’ll lick his lips and drum his fingers on his belly all, “Hey Buck, d’you remember that lemon pie Mrs. Katz used to make? God, I can practically smell it now” and a few hours later, he’s up to his own double-chin in pie, lemon and apple and french silk. Bucky gets such a kick out of feeding him, getting him everything he wishes for, and by this point, he’s starting to gain too. He’s making quadruple what he was in the beginning of their journey, enough for Steve’s expanded appetite and his own too. Thank fucking god for bulk stores.

we know// fifth harmony

cause its my problem if i wanna pack up and run away
its my business if i feel the need to smoke and drink and sway
its my problem, its my problem if i feel the need to hide
and its my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die
—  Marina And The Diamonds
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.