How To Do : Fashion

What a glamorous week I’ve had! On Tuesday I was practically rubbing shoulders with supermodels at a charity event in London, by Saturday I was in Milan attending a fashion show (in the FROW, I’ll have you know) and then topped it all off with a private view of the living legend David Bailey (or his works, although admittedly the man himself was there too, and that in itself is a rare sighting). It’s been a while since I’ve dabbed into the world of fashion, and as glamorous as it may seem, it was a good reminder of the reality of it all, or surreality more like. Here’s a few unwritten rules to attending a fashion event.

- If in doubt, wear black. Just wear black no matter what.

- Wear sunglasses. But never indoors, unless you’re extra cool. Or Anna Wintour. Or blind. In fact, just don’t.

- Wear high heels. Pretend you wear them every day. NO stockings heaven forbid.

- Practise air kisses. Italians do left cheek first which gets confusing. Think of it like driving on the right side of the road.

- Do not stare, or politely enquire someone if you’ve met before. She or he is a celebrity or a person whose face you’ve seen in a magazine a thousand times.

- Do not binge on the free drinks. 

- Do not eat.

- Look thin.

OK the last two (or three) might be difficult, for us humans at least, but try your best. You’ll be rewarded with a banging hangover and blisters on your feet the next day. And remember, above all, the rule of the thumb (as a certain very successful supermodel puts it): ”Never complain. Never explain”. Mwah!!

This is what one should aspire to look like. (However forget any kind of nipple tassels because that’s bound to go wrong) Very glam. #vogueparis #glenluchford

Iconic portraits of Mick Jagger by David Bailey. #stardust #show #PAC #milan

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