anonymous asked:

When my gyno stuck the clamp into my vagina before inserting my mirena I got the feeling of needing to fart. Have you ever been farted on? I was so worried about farting it made the experience ten times worse. Should I talk to my gyno about it?

When you say “clamp”, I assume that you’re talking about the speculum, right?

The speculum is a metal or plastic tool that is inserted into the vagina in order to hold back the walls of the vaginal canal for the provider to see and potentially take samples from or do a procedure in the cervix.

Below your vaginal canal is the rectum and above it is the urethra and bladder, so its very common for people to feel pressure in both those places once the bills of speculum are opened.  

Y’all know that I worked as a GTA (Gynecological Teaching Associate) for a couple years during midwifery school.  I taught medical, nursing, PA, NP and ND students how to provide comfortable pelvic exams using my own body.  So trust me when I say that I’ve had more pelvic exams than all of you put together.  

Yes, I did fart.  I farted on students and I farted on my coworkers and I’ve farted on practitioners before.  It’s just part of the pelvic exam.

I’ll also add that patients fart on me all the time.  They fart during pelvic exams, they fart during labor, they fart as I’m suturing up their tears after they’ve given birth.  Birth and vaginas are beautiful things, but they’re awfully close to the rectum, and there’s absolutely no way to separate the two.  Trust me, there’s nothing you can do - farting, pooping, peeing - that your provider hasn’t seen already and hasn’t gotten all down the front of their scrubs.

If you’re so worried about this that you can’t handle the anxiety, just make sure that you go to the bathroom right before you leave the house and then again when your provider finally comes in the room.  Just say, “Do you mind if I run to the restroom real quick before we start?”  That’ll take the pressure off a bit (emotionally and physically) and you don’t have to worry too much.

Meblrs, nurblrs midwife-blrs - amirite or amirite??


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#4. Manatees Swim by Farting

If you’re able to observe a manatee for an extended period of time without going blind from hysterical laughter, you may notice that they’re able to rise and sink in the water with almost no perceptible movement or effort whatsoever. How did these floating speed bumps manage to master ocean magic when they look like they’re barely aware of their own existence? Well, if you watch closely, you might notice a telltale clue bubbling up from their hindquarters.

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As gross as it sounds, maybe we should all start smelling farts a little bit more. A very recent study that just came out this past weekend says that smelling farts (in small doses) can be good for our health. A fart is made of hydrogen sulfide gas, and scientists say that smelling small whiffs of it here and there can reduce the risk of cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia. Start smelling!