I FIGURED OUT WHY IT’S SO TERRIBLE AND YET SO FULL OF REDEEMING QUALITIES [in my eyes, of course]
It’s because it’s written like a first draft. The movie LITERALLY feels like every first draft of my first few novels - characters appearing for a few scenes before being totally forgotten, subplots being abandoned, information being added without proper foreshadowing.
BUT, like all first drafts, there are those few WONDERFUL moments that usually make the writer pick it up at the end and say “this has potential. I’m excited to make it better”
………..except, they didn’t. It’s like they wrote the first draft, mailed it off to the director, threw a hundred thousand dollars at him, and never interacted with him again.
Jupiter Ascending is a $100,000 gorgeously costumed, cast, animated, and post-productioned FIRST DRAFT. and that is why it’s a beautiful train wreck, and why I cannot hate it no matter how bad it is at times.