farareushrieks

THE THING ABOUT JUPITER ASCENDING

I FIGURED OUT WHY IT’S SO TERRIBLE AND YET SO FULL OF REDEEMING QUALITIES [in my eyes, of course]

It’s because it’s written like a first draft. The movie LITERALLY feels like every first draft of my first few novels - characters appearing for a few scenes before being totally forgotten, subplots being abandoned, information being added without proper foreshadowing. 

BUT, like all first drafts, there are those few WONDERFUL moments that usually make the writer pick it up at the end and say “this has potential. I’m excited to make it better”

………..except, they didn’t. It’s like they wrote the first draft, mailed it off to the director, threw a hundred thousand dollars at him, and never interacted with him again. 

Jupiter Ascending is a $100,000 gorgeously costumed, cast, animated, and post-productioned FIRST DRAFT. and that is why it’s a beautiful train wreck, and why I cannot hate it no matter how bad it is at times.

ya’ll can blame vamosqueriendomasymas [X] and upperstories for this abomination

i hate both of you for doing this to me



Manolo stared blankly at the mirror. His reflection looked back at him, face smooth, clean-shaven, but creased slightly between the eyebrows. Eyes with a hint of dark circles, wider than usual and darting about like spooked birds as he studied his own face, looking for a hint of encouragement, a sign of some reserve of strength left untapped.

He found none.

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OH MY HECK I JUST REALISED WHY JOAQUIN GIVES MANOLO THE MEDAL AT THE END

HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH GOING TO GET STUCK UNDER THE BELL. THAT’S WHY HE TOLD HIM TO KICK DOWN THE COLUMN.

HE THOUGHT IF ONE OF THEM WAS GOING TO LIVE THROUGH IT, IT HAD BETTER BE MANOLO

IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE

I love stories about unconventional heroes tho

story about goblins/untrained everymen forming an adventuring party? omg YES. story about superpowered children who don’t fully understand the implications of the plot happening around them? YES PLEASE. story about the extras in any genre, any situation, who hang lampshades on the fact that the main characters and the things that happen to them are super frickin uncanny? GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW

my interest goes up ENORMOUSLY if more than one/the majority of the main cast is female too which kind of fits the unconventional hero mold as well since women aren’t generally written in main hero roles except as the token/exceptional woman