Meanwhile, in Darna..
So.. it’s hard to pinpoint exactly how this conversation started (or even how this
friendship kindred alignment ever spawned), but as most conversations tend to do, we found ourselves talking about the different kinds of hair styles that women have “down there”, all the while smoking “Code 69” from a Pineapple Hookah at a secret Middle Eastern Lounge in Northern Virginia on a Wednesday night (think about that for a second).. Anyway, so we’re talking about the fancy under-the-underpants hair designs we’ve seen, and we name some off..
We spoke of the conventional ones:
- The Landing Strip (aka, The Hitler)
- The Putting Green
- The Fairway
- The Rough
- Au Naturale (or, as I like to call it, NatGeo Style)
But then they started getting different:
- A Perfect Star
- A Perfect Circle
This pushed us over the edge. A STAR?? A CIRCLE?? Don’t get me wrong, the actual designs themselves aren’t that weird (in fact, it’s encouraged). The weird part is imagining the sheer logistics involved in getting those shapes to happen. If they did it themselves, how exactly did this go down? We were legitimately intrigued. I mean, I physically saw both of those things with my very own squinty eyes (which, arguably isn’t saying all that much), and when I say “Perfect Star” and “Perfect Circle”, I mean like they straight up must have used two protractors and a needle-point compass.
Anyway, so while we’re imagining the technical skills needed for this type of work (and how much beauty school and/or porn one needs to be involved in to become a cooter hair stylist), Vey makes the billion dollar observation that the perfect circle cut is really just a soul patch for the vadge.. or, a vadge-patch, if you will. Then it hit us: How unbearably hilarious would it be if there was this sweeping new trend where women everywhere shaved their hoo-hah’s to look like the many types of facial hair on men? Picture Tom Selleck’s mustache floating above a lady’s tenderness! Or, for the sophisticated mademoiselle, a nice handlebar mustache with extra curls! Let’s not forget the Charlie Chaplin. The possibilities are endless. I can’t imagine there’d be a huge increase in the number of men taking their hats off and going down on their women, but that’s beside the point.. Other important questions included:
- If a mustachioed gentleman and a muffstachioed lady were to 69, would it look like the mustachioed gentleman was kissing another mustachioed gentleman?
- Would a red headed woman’s lady parts end up looking like Yosemite Sam?
So, we realized in order to make this work, we needed to come up with a good catchy name for this potential cash lamb (it couldn’t be a cash cow because seriously, how much money would we really be able to make from this website? don’t be ridiculous).
We had to table the brainstorming sesh because our shisha was almost done, and the UHN-TSS house music was getting too loud to have a civil discussion about pubic hair. But this conversation continued over the next couple of days via text, and this is how that went (Soy on the right, Vey on the left):
Hence, FaceBush was born.