experience

war impact on the home front

i have been taught to look up to keep from crying, but when i cocked my head,

eyes searching for ceiling tiles, i saw your hands and piano keys,

exalted on a stage.

i have been told that the deeper the scar, the more you have felt.

the more space for someone to weasel into and start to love.

right between my knuckles, i dig, looking for gold.

i have been nullified. my senses dulled.

apparently the more numb, the less pain.

but the music is breaking barricades, letting soldiers storm the port.

it teems with sweaty men and fast heartbeats and the sound of your fingers

playing an original piece meant to seal off the brain.

i can now see that investing yourself in a person

leads to smoke and deforestation.

8

Team MDLZ on Batulao
4.20.2015

Last Saturday, my team and Lerry went to Batulao for a Saturday off. We already went there at around 6 in the morning but we were only able to reach Batulao at around 2 pm because our van got lost. Take note, we were able to roam around the whole Batangas, even the obscure ones, because we were lost. But we survived, haha.

Then, we started hiking. Some of my teammates were not that used in terms of climbing mountains so we had to assist them. SInce it was my second time in the area, I was helping my friends as well. Even though I am not the sporty type and I have a great fear of heights, since my friends are panicking about the heights and the exhaustion, I shrugged my fears and whatsoever and became some kind of superman spiderman who helped them climbed the mountain. Yes, I tell you, this is a big deal for me given that I have an acrophobia.

Mich, on the other hand, asked her maid to cook adobo and it was really delicious, I tell you. We were devouring our food already because it was really tasty. It was like pulled pork adobo or something of some sort.

Overall, everybody had fun at the mountain. On our way down, it was already dark so we were only using our phone lights to go on! But we survived, yey, and we were all asleep on our way home. Haha.

It’s really flattering to know that the Philippine market has been one of the bests in class based on our global client. It makes me feel proud that I have been a part of the team that drove this stellar performance, that I, as a fresh graduate last year, was entrusted to take care of this really huge brand. I feel so grateful for the trust and how all the hardships were worth it.

Sometimes memories are like thunder claps. We can push them deep into our hearts and then on no particularly special day we smell something or see a shadow that makes everything come tumbling back. Lightning shoots through our minds and vividly we see ourselves a year, ten years, two weeks ago. And just like a storm, sometimes it’s a warm summer evening full of happy times and sometimes it’s a jarring midnight storm that wakes you from your sleep.
You will walk differently alone, dear, through a thicker atmosphere, forcing your way through the shadows of chairs, through the dripping smoke of the funnels. You will feel your own reflection sliding along the eyes of those who look at you. You are no longer insulated; but I suppose you must touch life in order to spring from it.
—  F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is the Night

Anyone can hide the cracks in their mirror of memories.
Just tilt the lens a tiny bit, and the jagged seams disappear.
Cracked consonance cured. By a trick of the light. Sleight of mind.

Just remember to not tilt it back. The harsh and jagged lines of truth will return when you reflect on yourself too long.