eve-teasing

In Hyderabad, India, “SHE” teams encompass a revolutionary approach police are using to step up the fight against “eve-teasing,” an Indian euphemism for the sexual harassment of women in public places. 100 SHE teams disburse throughout the city, each comprised of 5 police personnel dressed in civilian attire and armed with video cameras. As they causally mingle with the public, the teams stealthily keep watch for imminent street harassment or stalking of women. In the first week the teams deployed, they caught more than 40 men in the acts of harassment. 

Read more via IBN Live

The kind of Indian guys you don't want to know...

1) The “i’m far more intelligent than you” guy: This guy is the nerd and has no qualms about showing off his math and science “skills” to the whole world. 

Teacher: Nikhil, what’s the electronic configuration of calcium?
Me: Uhhhh…wait lemme check my notes
“I’m far more intelligent than you” guy: *turns back to face me with a condescending look* Umm this question was in the practice test yesterday. How can you not know the answer? It’s so simple.
 
Um because while you were busy wanking off to your chemistry textbook, i was playing the new video game which everyone is hailing as the game of the year! (Uncharted 2, just in case you were wondering)
These guys seriously piss me off!! They like to make everyone feel stupid even if it means getting closer to the equation- “Friends = 0”. We know your smart, but i don’t want you to throw Newton’s laws of motion in my face every time we make a joke about……i don’t know……the apple falling on his head!!!

2) The “i’m random but still i hang out with you” guy:  He’s the guy who asks if he can come wherever y'all go but it’s awkward because we don’t know him at all. We can’t include him in our conversations because he doesn’t know what we’re talking about. And then you say something funny and there’s “laughs of approval” and then he chimes in with a random “loosely connected to the topic joke” which isn’t funny. But we can’t be mean so we laugh awkwardly. And every 5 minutes there has to be some obligatory talk with this guy so that he doesn’t feel left out. It’s a bit painful. And for every minute you talk to him, you feel nice for having made your contribution towards making him feel less awkward.

3) The “straight from the village”/“i don’t know english too well” guy: Well it’s just hard to talk to these guys because they’re way too Indian for you. They form this group and stay within it. They talk in their mother tongue the whole time, make fun of you in their mother tongue, listen only to regional music, watch only regional movies, get awkward when a girl talks to them in english and get a bit pissed when a guy talks to them in English. 

Me: Hey, what’s the time?
“Straight from the village” guy: Abey o chootiye! Angrezi naa jhaad!! (hey fucker, don’t blabber in english!)
Me: Please could you tell me the time?
“Straight from the village” guy: *thinks for a few seconds* Time it ij…..faar you to fuck off

And then all his sidekicks burst out laughing at his oh so awesome once in a lifetime joke in the english language. And you just feel very awkward…..



4) The “eve teasing ftw” guy: This guy is usually the more vulgar version of guy #3. He hangs out with similar guys and lets loose a chain of  filthy comments every time a hot girl walks by. They’ve never gotten a chance to hang out with girls (it’s evident why they haven’t) and so exhibit no tact in front of women.

“Aye haaye!! kya figure hai re!!! thoda humare liay bhi fashion show karo na!" 

"Vhery sexy butt  jeans you wearing madam! Tell please vhere you getting from!”

“Oye maa ki aankh, oye uski chaal toh dekho, kaise apna picchu hilaa rahi hai!! left-right, left right!!!!”

o_O    WTF

5) The “i judge everyone” guy: He’s they guy who passes snide comments about everyone. He judges everything you do and anything which he doesn’t do but you do, is just wrong. Usually brought up in more conservative families, he feels his upbringing is best and wishes that you had parents like his :/

“I judge everyone” guy:  “You think global warming is real?? What a dumbass!”
“You drink?? Wow that’s not a decent thing to do. I don’t drink at all.”
“Look at that girl. She’s wearing such a short skirt. What a slut.”
“Haha she’s fat and ugly. Could life be any worse for her?”
“Look at that kid. He’s holding that girl’s hand. He’s gonna grow up to be a rapist”

Umm dude, he’s just a kid! He’s 3 years old!!

“I judge everyone” guy: No but still, he’s an Indian kid. Indian kids don’t hold hands. Only couples do.

Yea, can you come with me to the bathroom. I’m going to shoot your balls off..

6) The “I’m so stingy” guy: He’s the one who doesn’t like paying his share of the money. Also, he’s very good at scamming you off your money without you realizing. You go out for lunch, and at the end, when everyone’s paying their share, he asks you to pay for him because “my mom didn’t give me enough money for food and for taking a rickshaw back home”. Umm so why the fuck did you come for lunch if you didn’t have the money!!!!
Another excuse, “If you pay for me today, i will pay for you tomorrow.” You slowly will realize that the tomorrow never comes. 
So you go this nice restaurant, the food’s amazing, you come out and he says, “Wow, what a rip off??? Bloody expensive!! guess we aren’t coming here again.”
Uhhh…no…YOU aren’t coming here again. WE are because the food is great. And then he leaves. And one of you suddenly realizes, “umm i’m short of 200 bucks!! That guy paid only 500 instead of 700!" 
Stingy bastard……


 

5

THE PERFECT INDIAN WOMAN :: KANIKA KAUL

Satire really hits home. 

Thats why we’re completely behind Kanika Kaul and her incredible, though-provoking poster designs which challenge the attitudes, beliefs, and not-so-great traditions South Asian women are often forced into accepting. 

Check out this one:

 ‘EMBRACE VIOLENCE :: Come on ladies, do you have no idea how frustrating you can be sometimes? I mean, your husband comes home drunk out of his mind and you get upset? How dare you? What other option does he have other than to slap you across the face? The bruises are consequences of your own doing, ladies. Stop blaming other people for what they do to you. 

Your husband, like every other man, is entitled to do what he likes to you, as long as you remember you deserve it. You deserve all of it. The catcalling, the eve-teasing, the physical violations, everything. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And if it does kill you, it’s because you asked for it.

What a chilling yet clever way to depict the ideals us brown girls are so familiar with. Check out the prints in a larger format here.

- A & S x

“Cat calling”, “eve teasing” - things like these become a very regular part of girl’s life. Growing in India, especially, made me realise how common this act of ‘eve teasing/groping’ is for men ; so commom that they stretch it to the extent of normalizing it! And obviously the way it is re-inforced in our media, movies and entertainment any little boy growing up in such an environment is passively taught that it’s all Okay! And that women too are “wanting” of it , the general idea of ‘no is a yes’ is stuffed in the brains of these men by the patriarchy driven mass media.

Watch on nirantar.tumblr.com

No but this advertisement though.

I love it.

Why do girls make you uncomfortable?

I watched Satyameve Jayate the other night. It got me thinking.

When you talk to someone about they say  "Tere aas paas nahi ho raha hai toh tu kyu mood kharab kar rahi hai? “ and ” But you people get reservations everywhere, so it evens out “. 

1.) Educated men our age wouldn’t even know how we have been faced with the situation of “a girl over a boy” THROUGHOUT our lives. It is not like it hasn’t happened with me over a hundred times. It is not unusual, when I tell someone about me or my family, to ask - “So you don’t have any brothers?”  It is very regular. Rather a custom, to pose this question. EVERYONE does that.

Do you realize how WRONG it is to talk like this? IN FRONT of the girls? You are saying to them that their parents don’t want them? That they don’t have a right to exist? That random strangers can be rude to them just because they are girls? What is it about girls that you hate so much?

What, about having two daughters, makes them so uncomfortable? Heck! People have children because they WANT to have children. Some people are in LOVE with each other and become pregnant and get moony-eyed ideas about wanting to create a family together.

Why are some people so distressed by little girls?

No one has the answers, of course. Only preconceived, borrowed ideas and conditioned responses. 

I feel sorry.

2.) And Yes! I have stood in the “Ladies Line” at booths and ticket counters. Yes, I have seats reserved for me in the city buses. Yes, I do get favours, and get encouraged because I’m a girl. I agree.

But do I not need all that? Do I need to be being ‘brushed against’, ‘bumped against’, ‘ogled at’, 'touched’ or 'grabbed’ every time I go out of the house? Do I deserve THAT? Is that ALL I am worth?

When I walk alone, I walk with all my senses on alert. I walk with aggression and hold a bag or something protectively against me, with my elbows ever-ready to shove someone in case they touch me. Do you know how stressful it is to walk like that, protecting yourself constantly, without letting your guard down? Do you realise how painful it is to think that you can’t enjoy a good walk alone for the fear of being touched by a creep? Do you realize how restricting, how rage-inducing, how utterly defeating it is to be that way every day? Do men understand why women hold on to their men tight? Why they ask their men to ask for directions, buy a pack of cigarettes or walk half a step behind, very close to their men?

It is difficult to be always on guard, always watchful, always wary.

Men. Why cannot they control their urges?

My questions are these: 

1. What is it that makes some men violate a woman’s personal space and touch her? Who gives them the right to do that and think it’s bloody okay?

2. What is it that separates a molester from a regular man? What makes two men look at a woman and react in two different ways: One checks her out, finds her appealing and stops with that, while the other one reaches out and touches her? What is that essential difference? Lack of control? Lack of decency? Bad upbringing? A disdain for women?

3. Do they also look at the women in their home with the same filth in their eyes with which they look at my breasts or butt or thighs? I mean to ask do these men who touch women without their permission on the streets also touch their women – mothers, wives, sisters – at home? Are these, in effect, perpetrators of incest? Or is it just other women they feel comfortable grabbing?

4. Are women responsible for these men having absolutely no fear to touch, grope, or expose themselves to women? Have years of "just ignore him” behaviour emboldened these men to do as they please? Would a man think twice if he had been beaten by a woman for touching her or passing a lewd comment at her?

I don’t know how many women can safely say that they have never been molested in their lives. If they’ve been out in a public space, it doesn’t matter what they are wearing, whether they are in great shape, whether they’re lovely to look at or just plain, they will have been grabbed. 

Every woman has been a victim. And talking about it is embarrassing. One touch, and it feels as if our whole existence is worthless. Every one of us has gone through some incident that has left some impact on the way we carry ourselves today.

They stare at me,
Scan me head to toe.
Their sight lingering at places.
I feel naked,
Stripped off and raped.

They touch me,
Inappropriately.
Just an accident each time.
Shamelessly smiling all the while.
My flesh becomes numb,
As if hacked into pieces
And ready to be served.

I am ashamed of them.
They make me feel
That my birth was a sin,
And my body- a curse;
That I am nothing
But a chunk of juicy meat.

-N

And here we’re not even talking about things like talking to our breasts instead of talking to us. 

And we do not have to go as far as high numbers to know how deeply we hate our women. Start in a home. A number of girls glow with pride when someone tells them they are tomboyish. A girl child, these days, is constantly being pushed to doing everything a boy child does. To the extent that dolls or breakfast/kitchens sets will not be bought for the girl lest she think that is her “role” in life, to nurture and cook. What they are actually doing is taking their little girls away from what might be their natural tendency.

While a boy may hang from doors, a girl will hang on to a thought, develop it and use it later in conversation. A boy might be able to identify cars well before he’s three, but a girl may be identifying behavior pointers, books and tapping an imagination that may or may not turn her into an entertaining drama queen later in life.

We’re telling our women to not be emotional at work because it undermines our authority. We’re telling women to not take days off to be with our kids when they are sick because it gives us a reputation of being unreliable.We’re telling our women - don’t wear distracting earrings, try and avoid bright feminine colours in corporate settings, we’re telling our women keep our hair short because it’s easier to manage and is less distracting, we’re telling our women to not cry like a girl, to compete like a boy and to be everything a man is, except shirtless.

What we’re telling our women is that it’s more fun to be a guy than to be a girl. Subtle, and unconscious, but we teach our children to dislike women much before they can even say misogyny.

Why does this comparison even come in? Boys and Girls need not be the same, in order to be equal. Raising a girl like a boy is in no way- “a better way of life”. Sending daughters to school, educating them, and loving them should not need to include “like a son” in the sentence.

I don’t want to have a daughter.

I thought so too. But truth be told, I would love to have a daughter. Teach her the right things in life. Raise her like a girl.

Like charity begins at home, the change in attitude also needs to begin at home. Parents need to teach their girls AND boys how to respect the other gender. That large dose of morals which our parents seem to love pushing down our throats from the time we’re born could be safely halved and shared with the sons as well.

Men and Women are not the same. They need not be so, to be equal. Equality merely means not treating women any differently from men.

We don’t want to end up with one gender.






Stuff from - 

http://therestlessquill.blogspot.com

http://nilanjanasadhu.blogspot.com

“Do girls make you uncomfortable?” – Natasha Badhwar for Live Mint

youtube

Front Foot – Micro short film on eve teasing

Take that one small step to help end street harassment!

youtube

Way to go girl! Old man gets put in his place on a flight in India.

It does not really matter what country this is from. This a problem everywhere in the world. And the solution is not just that girls need to get strong, it also that we teach our boys how to respect a girl.

Yes, I wear a bra. Yes, it shows. So?

Why? Why do you do that? Stare at my breasts like they are cute babies calling out to be cuddled. Strip me naked, slowly, every time I enter the bus? Try to glimpse into my cleavage when I am sitting and reading in the metro.

Who gives you the right? To grope me in the crowded bus? To fall on me “innocently” when I buy popcorn in the theater. When I sit cross legged in the auto and you stop your bike and look hungrily at my legs.

A piece of meat, am I?

How do you think I feel? When I have to continuously watch over my shoulder, because it is 10 pm and there is nobody at the bus stop, except you. Staring at my neck.

When I panic, because my phone is dead, and I am in a cab wearing a backless dress?

When my friends and parents worry that I have to travel alone at night? 

When I am sleepless in the bus, thinking, that your hands will pin me down and yank my clothes away?

What makes you think I should not wear that pretty black skirt?

To be scared. Afraid. Tensed. Every time I am not at home.

What makes you think I like it when I find you smiling at my bra strap that shows?

Yes, I wear a bra. Yes, it shows. So?

Ohh, don’t say that its my clothes! I have found you eyeing the waist of that woman who was wearing the plain faded saree. Your eyes get all excited when the young college going girl enters the bus in just a kurta, no dupatta covering her bosom.

And yes, one slip of the pallu or dupatta and you go wild.

Staring. Smiling. And staring.

So, if I have a beer in my hand when I am on a beach, you think you can click my picture?

When I wear hot pants and laugh with a guy you think you can pinch my ass?

Does the lit cigarette in my hand seem like an invitation to you? To come violate my body with your eyes?

Yes, I am a girl and I drink alcohol, so I am an ‘easy target’. Is that it?

Yes, I drink. I smoke. Does that mean I want to have sex with you and every man on the street?

You. Who teach your daughter to be safe from evil eyes, don’t flinch before mentally having sex with me when you see me on the street? You, who get angry when a boy smiles at your sister, don’t feel ashamed standing at the street corner whistling at me every night.

No practice what you preach, for you, right.

Do you still think I am the one who needs to change?

- Nivi
बाप ही लूटता रहा बेटी की अस्मत, पत्नी ने खोली पोल

बाप ही लूटता रहा बेटी की अस्मत, पत्नी ने खोली पोल

अंबालासिटी। हरियाणा के अंबाला सिटी में रिश्तों की मर्यादा को तार-तार कर देने वाला मामला सामने आया है। कलयुगी पिता की करतूत तो देखिये अपनी ही नाबालिग बेटी से सालभर तक रेप करता रहा। मामले का खुलासा तब हुआ जब एक रात बेटी की मां ने पति को बेटी से रेप करते देख लिया। पति की घिनौनी करतूत देख महिला ने हंगामा शुरू कर दिया और मौके पर ग्रामीणों की भीड जमा हो गई।

वहीं, सूचना मिलते ही पुलिस मौके पर पहुंच गई…

View On WordPress

youtube

Catcalling experiment in New Zealand “fails”!

Similar to the video taken in New York, this video was shot in Aukland, New Zealand. And, surprisingly, nothing happened. Kudos, Men of New Zealand.

What do we think of this? Are men in America worse than those in New Zealand? It certainly appears to be..

A Plight Undead

She stood in the alley,
With a gun in her hand,
Blood seeped through the floor,
From the corpse of a man,

She hated the moment,
Despised the deed,
What choice did she have?
No one would heed.

She thought for a moment,
With a trembling hand,
What this truly the future,
Her ancestors had planned?

Why did they not,
Fight this back then?
Their silence has now,
Cost the lives of men.

Uncorrected before,
Free to run wild,
Tease, beat and harass,
Worse actions compiled.

It has escalated,
Yet no one’s concerned,
The only defense,
Is the loss of someone.

Was he not a brother?
A lover? A son?
Was he not a friend?
Somewhere to someone.

Why was he not taught,
How to respect?
A mother? A sister?
Did no one correct?

How many fell prey,
To this now lifeless soul,
Did any survive?
Did any at all?

Again she gazed back,
At the past to think,
How did they ever,
Let it come to this?
She thought of the moment,
When he attacked,
Concern for her life,
He blatantly lacked.

Was this the right punishment?
How did she know?
It’s not just with her,
It’s happened before.

The ratio is worse,
Their numbers are more,
To make matters worse,
They’re out of control.

She blamed all the fathers,
And mothers before,
She blamed all the bothers,
And sisters also.

Had they done their parts,
And acted back then,
No one would need,
Such lethal defense.

She hated her act,
But had pride in her eyes,
She prevented this man,
And saved a few more lives.

But this is how,
The world is today.
A gun, or a knife,
To travel home safe.

It’s not just with her,
But everyone else.
Their fate is our fault
Our silence, their hell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eve_teasing 

sheriddleston

I am so fucking tired of the boys at our school, I mean seriously! Both my best friend and I are relatively well-endowed in the chest area and for a class play we had to change clothes. My dress was a bit translucent and my friend’s was form-fitting and most of the guys be all like ‘LET THE EVE TEASING COMMENCE!’ Just seriously fuck them all.