OUAT Filming Headcanon
  • Colin:You have your parents, Henry...
  • Jennifer:You
  • Colin:Aye, me. And I love you.
  • Director:CUT! Colin, that is not the line.
  • Colin:What do you mean? "Aye, me. And I, you..."
  • Director:That is not what you said! alright let's do it again
  • Colin:You have your parents, Henry...
  • Jennifer:You
  • Colin:Aye, me. And I love you.
  • Director:COLIN!
  • Colin:What? It's time already! How many more euphemism are we going to use?!?

fun fact: when you’re in college, “let’s watch Netflix together” in the context of a date is a euphemism for “there is a possibility that there will be some degree of intimacy but let’s leave it open”

Another attempt to impress. 
Here we go.
I’ll impress you, alright.
But, before we go on’ let me forewarn you, my punctuations are errrrrrr.

I don’t seem to care which will bother you intellectuals.
(You saw what I did, don’t lie 😎)

I’m the guy Sheldon Cooper detests. 
This, for a fact I know. 

I learnt a new word today. 

That should tell you my target audience won’t be found at Harvard or any other Ivy League schools. 

This is for the community college kids. 
The ones who don’t care about sautéed veggies with wild french salmons and no carbs.

This is for my pizza eating, my ‘burger and fries on the same plate because we don’t care about carb portions’, my “oh you don’t eat that, let me have it”, my ‘lets get a large coke instead of smoothie because scale of economics’ people.
I do this for you. 

I pledge my allegiance to you. 

Well that contradicts everything I want to grow to become. 😕
Rich and healthy.
I should have used wealthy but rich kinda sounds more sophisticated to me.

I’m weird, I’ve been told. 
A line I used to impress open minded people. 
Open minded people, let’s say most, most open minded people don’t think anymore.

I’m not going to sniff coke ('sniff coke’ is an euphemism here-I’m being extremely gentle) because of nothing so don’t preach it.

The fact alone that you can advertise it to me bothers me.
Like? What sign did I give to trigger you to ask in the first place….ugh

World is ……
Which values do they stand on now? 
That’s why I refuse to mingle with (some) intellectuals most of the time. 
It’s this whole 'open mindness’ thing. 
I’m not changing my values so I can drink french wine from whatever mountain the ad guy from Gallo’s Family made you believe. 
Keep it, my coconut juice from a real coconut (not packaged) does just fine.

I’ll have my imbalanced meal where carbs dominate than to negate my values. 
The thing is these intellectuals refuse to acknowledge or THINK about is the long term consequences of their 'open mindness’. 
Defeating the purpose of calling themselves intellectuals in the first place.


(Touché is cliché when ending a rant. Isn’t it? )

The Wee Dog

I woke to an almost silent high pitched whine. I sat upright. Then a tummy gurgle that wasn’t mine. Then the whine again.

I threw on a robe and went to Lily’s crate and she was sitting up– I let her out and she forwent the usual morning greetings that amuse me so. She ran for the door. I followed.

She ran out and ate grass, peed and then had shall we say….. A little doggy terrorist attack. [Thinking of Ricky Gervais’ euphemism for the pre-colonoscopy prepping in “Ghost Town”]

We’re snuggled in bed while I make her brown rice for breakfast. Her poor tiny tummy still making all sorts of noises…

The slightest thing wrong with this creature and I flip out.

But then I tell you all and I’m not alone.


Letting labels define us

So, people say this about people who are stigmatized in some way or another:

  • “She has a disability, but she doesn’t let her label define her!”
  • “He happens to be gay, but he doesn’t let that label define him!”

And… it tends to be in the context of an article or video that’s literally about how their difference and the way it’s labelled has a profound impact on their life.

It rings false, because if labels didn’t matter, the article or video wouldn’t be about them. It matters that some people are disabled or gay or whatever other thing people are afraid to name in a straightforward way.

It’s important to send the message that we’re all more than one thing, and that no label or category completely defines who we are. It’s also important to acknowledge that differences don’t stop mattering when they are stigmatized. We need to be able to refer to important aspects of who we are without evasion or euphemism.

Please fire me. I got yelled at and almost sued by a woman asking me who were “Nikes.” She thought I was being prejudice against blacks. She called later and told me I was a liar and that they were shoes even though I told her they were shoes. I can’t stand these customers…