12 June 2014 - I wrote

Im addicted to him…im addicted to our chemistry…it’s 02:06am and sleep has hidden from me..i’ve been tossing and turning
because i’m back to reality…is it because I dont want to find sexual comfort elsewhere or because it’s meant to be just him? We
love each other Yes! But not enough to start over I suppose…too much has happened and I doubt we would make each other
happy..we’re too different I suppose… Was it a missed sign that Ncuncu said “it’s been 10 years without going back to the father
of my child”..can I say it’s almost 3years since we broke up but 3hours since we last slept together? .. I am playing with fire and I
need a fire estinguisher fast. The way i’m so scared of pain my heart is already programmed to shut down when his near by.. but
like he said “how long will we keep it at this pace” and how long will I keep on giving myself to him whenever he wants a piece of
me I wonder…
#Signing off: Dee

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