Moral of today: You cannot be friends with someone youre in love with.
Its merely impossible. Its heartbreaking. Its heart shattering. It will kill you. You will feel every organ in your body sink to one place. You will laugh to prevent tears from coming down. If you were/are “in love” with someone and for some reason it cant work out between you guys, and you guys are friends, i strongly believe you guys were merely infatuated with the idea of being in love. I dont know if im the only one but just knowing or should i say, that thought that passes through your head sometimes to remind you that you guys cant be is just more heartbreaking until the next reminder. Its as if your energy is sucked out of you, an incredible heart ache just builds up. Damn. Sometimes i wish i wouldnt have met you but then that also brings up the question would i rather never have known what it was to love you or love you and learn to love unconditionally but lose you in the end. Shit sucks, especially when you know it will never ever work out for you two. Especially knowing that no one gives a damn because theyre waiting for their turn with you while youre picking up the little pieces to whatever remains of you. It may sound crazy, this whole in love deal and it is. To be in love is basically admiring the little details and quirks of someone unconditionally. No ifs and or buts. You cant like their video game addiction but like them buying you you food every time you guys go out. it doesnt work that way. You love everything there is to love about them. Whats so special about it, is that you dont question anything you do for them, you just do it. Not everyone has someone that loves them unconditionally, that no matter how many times you fuck up, you let me down, you disappoint me, you hurt me, ill be there. Because i love you. Most people just dont get it so they judge so ill leave it at that. Today was probably the worst day of my damn life but as they say ‘you never see it coming but you get to see it go’ and thats all it matters. But wanna know what else matters? that they know that even through all the arguments, defeats, accusations, laughter, tears, adventures, escapades, craziness, fights………… you still love them. You still love every bit of what they are and what they hide and what they can be and thats all that really matters. That they know you love them.