**Warning: this story talks about depression and self harm**
Ok this is my first One Shot request I’ve written, so be nice (:
"I’M SORRY!" you screamed, tears pouring down your face. Harry’s once angered expression changed almost instantly. He looked at you in complete shock. Dead silence lingered around you, interrupted by your quiet sobs. You turned around, running upstairs and locking yourself in your bathroom.
Harry had been yelling at you continuously since he had come back from work, reminding you of everything you’d done wrong. At first you didn’t mind. He had a bad day, you could tell, and his mood definitely wasn’t the best. You were trying to be as sweet as you could; he was your boyfriend after all. Harry kept telling you off, pointing out all your mistakes -getting irritated by everything you did. He ended up yelling at you, which resulted in your sudden breakdown.
This is what you’d call emotional abuse. Harry had never laid a hand on you; he knew very well women abuse was horrible, but he didn’t understand how even without hitting, you were hurt. You knew from the beginning he was quite moody, but you loved him anyways. There was always something about him that made you overlook his flaws, but recently, things were getting out of hand. Words hurting more than they had before. You could hear him knocking now, trying the doorknob. It was locked, of course. You leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, pulling up your sleeves to reveal the healing cuts on your wrist. You had promised yourself that you would stop; that self-harm wasn’t worth it, but it was too much. It seemed as though Harry hated you; it was a sign confirming you were as unwanted as you thought of yourself to be. “Marissa!” he yelled through the door, now fiercely trying to get it open. He didn’t know about your depression problem, but now he was starting to realize what was going on with you. Why you were always in the bathroom for long stretches of time; why you never talked to him about your problems.
Ignoring his desperate cries, you reached over and opened the drawer, eyeing the bottle of pills you had put away for so long. “Not yet,” you breathed to yourself, your hand passing the bottle and grabbing the razor instead. “Marissa, what are you doing in there?!” he shouted uncontrollably. “Please, Marissa! Let me in! Please!” by the tone of his voice, you could tell he was on the verge of hysteria. You took in a deep breath and prepared yourself for the pain you knew was to come.
More tears fell down your cheeks as you quickly made a small incision. Just then, the door bust open, causing you to drop the razor. Harry stared at you with fear in his eyes, as if what he had expected was now definite. He dropped to his knees and held your arm, looking down at you with a saddened expression. “I’m so sorry.” he whispered, pushing back your long dark hair. Now trembling, you bit your lip and looked away; not wanting to face him. He looked so hurt, but even though you knew that was what he deserved, you couldn’t help but feel bad.
Harry quickly reached across your lap and took the razor in his own hands. In one swift movement, he swiped the blade across his own wrist, leaving a fresh cut. “Ha-harry,” your eyes widened and more tears filled them. Taking his arm and putting your shirt on it to stop the bright red blood from flowing out, you looked at him with sheer horror. “What have you done, what are you doing to yourself-what are you doing to me?” you said through loud cries. “This is all my fault,” he begun as he put his large hands on your cheek, using his thumb to wipe away your tears. “No, no, what-why, stop, Harry, please.” you said with a shaky breathe. “No, Marissa, I know you’re doing this because of me. I’m so sorry, I just-You deserve so much better, but I can change-I promise. Please just say you’ll never leave me.” he said softly, a single tear running down his face. “I’m nothing without you.” You covered your eyes with your hands, bawling, not being able to take everything at once. “Please, Marissa, look at me.” he said, lifting up your chin.
You finally lock eyes, his hollow ones sending you into even more despair. “I have no worth in the world, Harry.” you said, sobbing. “Look what I’ve done,” you tightened your grip on his wounded wrist. He stood up and helped you get up as well, placing his free hand on your shoulder. “We can get through this together. All this is my fault, and I’m so sorry. I honestly am; you need to help me and I need to help you. Please, Marissa. I can’t live without you.” he spoke quietly, pulling you into his chest. His husky voice and his strong arms wrapped around you made you feel safer already. He sweetly kissed your forehead, his breathe warm on your skin. “I love you,” he said, squeezing you tighter.
Here’s for all of you who self harm and are in depression; please, it’s not worth it. You’ve come here into this world because you have a reason to live. You are beautiful and you’re more amazing than you think of yourself to be. If need anyone to talk to, I’m always here. Please don’t hurt yourself. Please.
Written by daretodreamin-onedirectoin (Nayaar) xx
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