equidirk

anonymous asked:

Equis Dirk

— centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling timeausTestified [TT] at 9:23 —

CT: D—> Human

CT: D—> Human

CT: D—> Human

TT: Oh great.

CT: D—> I must inquire as to where you have acquired such magnificent pieces of hoofbeast art

CT: D—> As what is hanging in your respiteblock at this very moment

TT: What?

TT: Wait, don’t answer that.

TT: First of all, who in the airborne fuck are you?

TT: Second of all, I’m not going to lie. That is the best chumhandle I have ever laid my humble human eyes upon.

CT: D—> If you are inquiring about my name, then let me formally introduce myself

CT: D—> I am Equius Zahak

TT: Alright, Equius. I’m Dirk. Nice to meet you.

TT: I have a strange feeling that this could quite possibly be the start of a glorious, equine-filled friendship.

Heavy

Pairing: Dirk/Equius

Words: 3,572

AU/Headcanon: Trolls on Earth

Ao3

(This was basically just an excuse to talk somewhat about my headcanons concerning how Equius sleeps. Also the fandom is horribly lacking in non-sexual Dirk/Equius content (and this coming from someone who is all about that). The ending is also somewhat abrupt. I’m not joking about there being, like, no point to this. This whole fic was an accident. What am I even doing)

One of the many amazing surprises that came with dating Equius Zahhak included (but was not limited to) his finicky sleeping habits. Dirk had been blessed with the fun and intriguing task of discovering these small consistencies; as someone who had never dated a troll before, the opportunity certainly not one to pass up.

Read More

SHIT OK JESUS

OK WHAT IF

OK

EQUIDIRK

HEAR ME OUT OK OK NO SH LET ME SAY WHAT THIS IS OK ITS DIRK GETS REALLY SAD BECAUSE OF THE WHOLE ROBOT THING, AND HE’S REALLY LONELY, ETC. INSERT YOUR DIRK SADSTUCK HEADCANON HERE. 

AND THEN EQUIUS COMES ALONG AND WHEN DIRK BREAKS A BUNCH OF ROBOTS OUT OF FRUSTERATION AND GETS PISSED AT HIMSELF AND GETS SADDER BECAUSE NOW HE HAS LIKE NOBODY, EQUIUS COMES AND FIXES THEM BUT HES REALLY SHY SO HE DOESNT TALK TO DIRK, HE JUST FIXES THE THINGS AND LEAVES SOMEHOW. 

SO DIRK IS LIKE SHIT WHO IS THIS I NEED TO TALK TO THEM BECAUSE EQUIUS LIKE FIXED ALL HIS STUFF PERFECTLY AND EVERYTHING

SO DIRK FINDS HIM EVENTUALLY AND HE JUST BREAKS DOWN

AND YEAH THEN THEY FALL IN LOVE AND ALL THAT BUT

EQUIDIRK

whoever this eq was youre perfect
  • YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!
  • ▼:D --> E%cuse me
  • ▼:D --> Is this the My Little Hoofbeast/BDSM Enthusiasts Convention
  • ▲:Yes it is.
  • ▲:Welcome fellow hoofbeasts enthusiast.
  • ▼:D --> Thank goodness
  • ▼:D --> For a moment, I thought that I was lost
  • ▲:Dont worry you're in good hooves now.
  • ▲:This is Dirk Strider desu.
  • ▼:D --> My name is Equius Zahhak
  • ▼:D --> Well met
  • ▲:Indeed.
  • ▲:It is an honor to be blessed by your
  • ▲:kawaii.
  • ▲:Tell me who is your favorite Little Hoofbeast?
  • ▼:D --> Rarity
  • ▼:D --> She is tr001y a generous and high-class lady
  • ▲:No way dude.
  • ▲:Rainbow Dash is where it's at.
  • ▲:You do not have a sufficient kawaiimeter.
  • ▲:GTFO.
  • ▲:peasant.
  • ▼ HAS BEEN DUMPED.

anonymous asked:

Equiusdirk.

when or if I started shipping it: I think I started shipping them after the prototyping of Equiusprite?

my thoughts: A cool pairing, I think it’d be pretty cool seeing they have very similar interests with each other.

What makes me happy about them: Imagining them riding horses or making robots.

What makes me sad about them: Seeing Dirk isn’t the best to handle relationships seeing his status as a Prince of Heart, I don’t think Equius would feel very happy in the end.

things done in art/fic that annoys me: Showing Equius as weak and Dirk as the macho-man.

things I look for in art/fic: Them playing off on each other’s interests, or maybe some sort of fic on how they ended up together.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: With Equius, it’d be probably Feferi. For Dirk, maybe Jake or Sollux.

My happily ever after for them: They live on a ranch together in the countryside, tending hoofbeasts.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity?: Having a arm wrestling contest.

who-ya-gunna-call asked:

I didn't wanna say the obvious homestuck but that's all I can think of... So homestuck :3

Thank you for sending me an ask Kaz (◡‿◡✿)

I drew this special for you in my I’m too lazy to get out of bed and I drew this with my finger on my phone art style.

So since you gave me Homestuck here it is:

My favorite pairing is of course EquiDirk. It’s been my Homestuck OTP for a while now and it probably will be for a while more.