my oc/child named sid. they are from a story called enosimania. they are gender neutral and a demon/anti christ. but sid doesnt know that when the story starts tHINGS START HAPPENING and they realize who they are blah blah blah then they go insane <3

I've become too empty

As I said before, I can laugh at something funny, I can smile. But I feel nothing. It’s extremely hard to get me to cry. Before last week the last time I had was almost two years ago. It’s almost like when you put too much pressure on a nerve, it stops working. I feel like I’m just too stressed and/or sad to feel anymore.

I think about suicide, and honestly I see no problem. I don’t necessarily want to, But I don’t see any cons in jumping off a bridge. My mind doesn’t allow me to think correctly. If something bad happens to me, I will subconsiously push it to the back of my mind and forget it. Almost like a defense sort of thing. People ask me if I feel bad for what I’ve done/something that’s happened, and honestly, almost always I hardly remember what they’re even talking about. I know I should feel bad, but I’ve already forgotten so much of it I don’t know how to feel bad.

It’s quite pathetic really. That I am so weak I must forget my life to live it. I feel as though my life is just slipping away. I can’t remember things. I just tell myself how to feel, and go with it. Even if I don’t know why or where it will take me.

Typical bullshit

So, I’ve been dating this shit-dick asshole for about a year now, and let me tell you are relationship has gone to shit. We only have the same fucking idiotic conversation repeatedly, we always are bitching at each other over something, and our sex has gotten so bland I swear to the god I don’t believe in I can’t even feel anything anymore.

Well, here comes Mr. Fuck Shit Up. The person I’ve admired since I met the fucker comes along ending up to be one of my best fucking friend. Now I’m shoulder deep in the shit pit you call “Love” and its just a huge pile of fucking horseshit.

I don’t know if I should just resort to being a cheater lowlife fucking scumbag or just deal with the fact I have an asshole boyfriend.

I don’t know. I’m an idiot.

I can’t wait until 5:30.

I’m going over to Jessica’s

and we’re going to watch Silent Hill.

It’s her first time seeing it so it’s going to be great.

and then we’re going to cuddle and I’m going to passout.

in our amazing fort.

then her mom will ruin it the way she always does.

and I’ll go home and be happy,

because Jessica is amazing, and all mine.

:D

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