Endure4Kindness isn't going exactly as I'd planned...
What To Do When Someone (or Yourself) is Exhibiting Massive Road Rage:
When You’re a Pedestrian: If you’re minding your own business and walking down the side of the street and someone drives by you going 500 miles a goddamn hour and doesn’t even scoot over an inch, you have full legal right to shout the following: “Motherf*cking little shithead son of a cat!”
When You’re a Driver: If you’re behind the wheel and a pedestrian is basically walking in the middle of the fucking road, you can not be held liable if you honk your horn loudly and yell out the window “Your mother was a hamster!”
When You’re a Pedestrian: If you’re crossing the street at a perfectly acceptable time and some driver with ant in his pants is honking at you, it is well within your rights to get on your back and slowly hot-dog roll the rest of the way across the crosswalk.
When You’re a Driver: If you’re making your daily commute and someone with a god complex thinks that they can just take all the time they want crossing the street, it is your Constitutional right to roll down your window, pull down your pants and proudly display your buttocks to them once they’ve finished crossing.
When You’re a Pedestrian: If you’re in a desperate situation and there isn’t a crosswalk anywhere within a day-and-a-half’s journey by horseback, then jaywalking is acceptable.
When You’re a Driver: If you’re just driving along your merry way and some bastard decides to play Human Frogger, it is your natural born right to run them over, put them in your trunk and drive your car over a cliff.
See, now, I thought I was going to be productive but my brain had other plans.