“The idea of me being left alone by people just got into my mind right now and I just realized why they keep on doing that. It is because I’m vulnerable and fragile, I can shatter into pieces and break down anytime. They want me to die the shit out and won’t even crave for some really great friendship with me because they just want me to get hurt more and more. But the fact that I’m really used to getting hurt, am not that kind of person who’d do some cuts or kill himself. Been there, done that. Honestly I tried doing it once. But then I thought that I would get nothing but still more problems if I just kill myself. They won’t be solved by murdering one’s self. Rather face them head on and live a new life. Thus, those who ended up our friendship, oh well, I still treat them as friends, but our friendship’s over, I think. Well at least that’s what I know. I won’t bother bringing back those friendships anymore. They won’t bother, too, anyway. So might as well live life without them. I’m used to it.
But to be honest, it’s actually a bit boring without them, without talking to someone who knows almost half of your life, without laughing with the same people, without talking nonsense random shit with those same people, and yea, I feel lonely but never mind the loneliness I can live with it.”
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ep 2; lm