emptyness

The smile portrayed on her face
Can deceive many.
She confides in the mask of ‘happiness’ worn on her face everyday but is then stripped away from her at night When all the monsters in her head come out to play making her mind their playground.
And her laugh,
The laugh that makes people believe that she’s ok, When really her world is crumbling down right before their very eyes,
And when someone finally open their eyes To see past her fake smile and the mask she wears and realizes that she’s slowly suffocating and can barely breathe. They ask her the obvious question
‘are you ok’
And she pauses for a minuet.
But quickly comes to the realization that she’s scared to let anyone see the war she’s fighting because she’s been stabbed in the back before by someone who claimed to be on her team and she’s afraid to let her guard down and become vulnerable to anyone because she’s been taught that vulnerability means weakness. So she continues to fight the war on her own and replies with
‘I’m ok I’m just tired’
But what she really means by tired is:
She’s tired of waking up and feeling like she’s a disappointment
She’s tired of looking in the mirror and hating the image she sees
She’s tired of everyone leaving her
She’s tired of trusting people who then break her trust like it meant nothing
She’s tired of her mind controlling her
She’s tired of being empty
She’s tired of being her
A young girl who’s confused and lost in a maze she has no idea how to escape.
—  T.V.M