All I want for Christmas is nuanced, character development-heavy fiction about the relationship between Dracula and his brides. Centuries-old aristocratic vampire polyamory shrouded in mystery and soaked in blood. Think of the possibilities.

How dare you touch him, any of you? How dare you cast eyes on him when I had forbidden it? Back, I tell you all! Or you’ll have to deal with me!"
The fair girl, with a laugh of ribald coquetry, turned to answer him:
“You yourself never loved; you never love!” On this the other women joined, and such a mirthless, hard, soulless laughter rang through the room that it almost made me faint to hear; it seemed like the pleasure of fiends. Then the Count turned, after looking at my face attentively, and said in a soft whisper:
“Yes, I too can love.
—  JUST A REMINDER THAT THIS HAPPENED AND PEOPLE STILL THINK DRACULA IS STRAIGHT
“Oh, the terrible struggle that I have had against sleep so often of late; the pain of the sleeplessness, or the pain of the fear of sleep, and with such unknown horror as it has for me! How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads; to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams.”
― Bram Stoker, Dracula
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A review of Dan Curtis’ Dracula starring Jack Palance. Also a tour of my kitchen, a plea to see your Halloween costumes and some Burt Lancaster gushing.

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