anonymous said:

Dude. Your obstinate denial of the HIMYM finale is furling my hatefire for the finale. Thank you for the Swarkles posts.

YOURE SO WELCOME. avengingsuperwholock was doing a Swarkles spam and I was more than happy to jump on board. THAT FINALE NEVER HAPPENED.

THE SHOW ENDED WITH TED AND TRACY TOGETHER LIVING HAPPILY WITH THEIR TWO AWESOME CHILDREN. TRACY EVEN OUTLIVED TED. IT WAS SAD, AND SHE NEVER REMARRIED. SHE EVEN CONTINUED THE STAR WARS TRADITIONS WITH THE GUYS AFTER TEDS DEATH.

LILY AND MARSHAL STAYED IN NEW YORK AND MARSHAL BECAME A JUDGE. LILY CONTINUED PAINTING AND EVENTUALLY STARTED SELLING HER PIECES ON THE SIDE. THEY MAKE A MORE THAN MODEST LIVING AND THEY BOUGHT A PENTHOUSE IN THE CITY. THEY NOW HAVE 4 CHILDREN. ALL OF WHOM ARE HAPPY AND HEALTHY. THEY’RE EXPECTING THEIR FIRST GRANDCHILD. HIS MIDDLE NAME WILL ALSO BE “WAIT FOR IT”.

NOW I HAVE TWO SWARKLES HEADCANONS. 

1. THEY SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIVES TRAVELING THE WORLD AND FINDING NEW ADVENTURES. TOGETHER. CANNOT EMPHASIZE THAT ENOUGH. BARNEY ORGANIZES THE WORLDS LARGEST LASER TAG TOURNAMENT. WHICH ROBIN WINS. SHE WINS BECAUSE SHE FLASHES HER BOOBS AT BARNEY. HE DOESN’T MIND LOSING. 

2. If you actually admit that the finale happened… this is for you. 

Barney has actually been working for S.H.I.E.L.D. for years. 

S.H.I.E.L.D loves their acronyms, hence: P.L.E.A.S.E.

Anyways, Barney eventually discovered that Robin was also working for SHIELD but in a different branch/division. He spent the next few years trying to get her to slip up. They’d been married a few years when she was charged with keeping this baby girl safe and she didn’t want to risk anyone finding out about her secret identity or endanger the lives of her friends. Specifically she didn’t want to endanger Barney. So she was in the middle of telling him that she was leaving him (for some bullshit reason) when he called her out on it. They agreed to not tell their friends and instead to “Divorce” in order to keep the baby safe and Barney safe- cuz you know, Robin can handle herself. 

They’re still living happily together, off the radar. 

All of those girls Barney was ‘hooking up with’ were really just S.H.I.E.L.D bodyguards that Robin insisted he take with him whenever he went into New York, cuz for some reason New York is always where shit goes down. 

It’s a lot of work just to live their double life. But it’s all worth it. 

8

HIMYM - Season 7:
↳ I used to believe in destiny, you know? I go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line, reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that’s been stuck in my head all week, and I think: “Wow… Hey, maybe she’s the one?” Now I think: “I just know that bitch is going to take the last whole wheat everything bagel.”

#345
I’ve seen Barney and Robin as a couple (a lot more so than she and Ted) since the first season. I can’t wrap my head around how their relationship could deteriorate so quickly after getting married. You’d think a television show about freak chances and miracles all 3 couples would defy the odds and make it.

Just a little word of advice for you morons out there

If you DID enjoy the HIMYM finale, do NOT reblog my anti-finale posts and then tag them with shit like “fuck you I liked it”.

Congratufuckinglations asswipe, you liked a shitty episode. Now take your opinion and gtfo my blog. I don’t care if you liked it or loved it or fucking wrote it. I still don’t like it. I never will. And by you messaging me or tagging my posts with stupidity you are doing nothing other than wasting my time.

So please just go crawl into a hole and celebrate your finale elsewhere.

“But love doesn’t make sense! You can’t logic your way into or out of it! Love is totally nonsensical, but we have to keep doing it… or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity is just packing in. Because love is the best thing we do! Look, I know that sounds cheesy but it’s just true. You love Barney and he loves you and that doesn’t have to make sense to make sense.”

— Ted Mosby (Season 9, Episode 22)

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