Tom Sawyer: The Sexy Modern Reboot [pt 3/4]

[pt1] [pt 2]



A young hipster-looking hobo is propped up against a shack by a river. He is dressed only in jean overalls and a straw hat, is smoking a pipe, and has a tattoo of an anchor on his arm. It goes without saying that he is sexy as hell.

SAWYER and BECKY approach, and HUCKLEBERRY FINN looks up.

SAWYER: Huckleberry, my old friend! It’s been a while.

FINN: It’s Finn now, Tom. It’s much cooler and sexier for the modern age.

SAWYER: Right.

BECKY: Finn, can you get us upriver fast? There’s word of strange goings-on at McDougal’s Cave, and we need to get there as soon as possible.

FINN hurries to get his boat ready and they follow after.

FINN: You should have called me ahead of time. I could get us there twice as fast with the help of my friend [BLEEP] Jim.

SAWYER and BECKY stare at him.

FINN: Oh, no, it’s not like that. We’re just really good friends, so it’s cool if I call him that.

BECKY: Yeah, I don’t think it is…

FINN: No, trust me. It’s totally fine.

SAWYER and BECKY look uncomfortable as FINN kicks the boat engine on.

FINN (almost to himself): You can’t be racist if you have a black friend.

The engine roars and the boat takes off.


to be continued….

[Ben Baker is a writer living in Arlington, Virginia. Like everyone else, he is on Twitter.]

Dear White People | Official Trailer (HD) | In Theaters Oct. 17

I’m going to watch this movie until every scene is forever burned into my memory. 

"Black people can’t be racist. Prejudice, yes, but not racist. Racism describes a system of disadvantage based on race. Black people can’t be racist since we don’t stand to benefit from such a system."

Kindly educate anyone you meet who does not know the difference between racism and prejudice. Racism is systematic. Being prejudice is problematic. 

a list of things i dont understand
  • why school is a thing
  • why band merch is expensive
  • why people insist on posting their shitty covers on facebook
  • why people like nash grier
  • why white boys only wear cargo shorts
  • why victorias secrets bras are overly priced

While I enjoy sad situations and gratuitous angst over marriage arrangements, it’s the happy ones that get me all ahhh

like imagine Weiss just recently got to be the head of Schnee Dust company and since she’s now Weiss “MOTHERFUCKING LEADER OF MY OWN LIFE NOW HAH” Schnee one of the first things she does is act on proposing to Ruby

except we all know about Weiss and Plans working out like a house on fire (hi, Jaune) and it’s just. Ruby not getting all the cues: taking an entire day for themselves (they’ve done so many times before!), going to shops and fancy shops (Ruby and her fetish for weapons which Weiss exploits), expensive fancy dinner because Weiss only demands the finest (Yang and Blake are off in the corner wearing suspiciously large sunglasses and holding cue cards) , even taking her out to the balcony under a night sky that is actually pretty cloudy (Weiss is going to find that weather man).

Weiss is just trying to set the mood but Ruby being Ruby just can’t take the hint and Weiss just screams with a thinly veiled opera note AAAAUGH WHY AM I DOING THIS WHY DO I LOVE YOU YOU’RE SUCH A DOLT

Ruby just pauses and blinks and with genuine honesty says “Because I love you so much, too!”


that brutal innocence.

Weiss decides to go fuck it at that moment. skips the kneeling, forgoes the long winded elaborate speech she spent hours on, tugs on Ruby’s hand and slips dat ring on Ruby’s finger.

Ruby blinks. Stares. Finally gets it.

Ruby Ohs…

Oh and at that moment Yang screams really gay and lights up fireworks. Blake holds up a cue card that says KISS THE GIRL.

also have a WIP shot for actually reading all of that, huff huff

Keep reading

white people whining theres nothing as white privilege on facebook

i didnt censor most of these names bc if you are posting your dumb opinions under a public photo then. yeah.

yes lets talk about how egyptians /who are suddenly remembered of being poc but i bet johnny learnt about exodus from his illustrated bible that had white moses in it/ enslaved jews and the impact it had on modern day america, other than ridley scott making a whitewashed shit movie

glenn clifton who is probably 60+ years old says white privilege doesnt exist because there were no xboxes in the ’50s and he went on hunting trips with his dad for food instead of having it delievered by tesco van

i cut the rest of the comment because it was so full of racist slurs brooke luckey believes two german guys invented communism to make her feel bad about herself

people who think there is no white privilege because they actually have a work to go to

apparently there is no difference between stating a fact and offensive, prejudiced generalisation

yes wanda thank you for pointing out that classism is still a thing. this fact however has nothing to do with white privilege. white privilege isnt being great gatsby-rich at the moment you were born, wanda.

there was literally one out of 50 comments ive read that made any sense and wasnt white people whining that they are not prvileged because they have to work