The war on drugs is built on the idea that the chemicals are the problem. Once you realize that disconnection and isolation are the drivers of addiction, you suddenly realize that what we do actually makes addiction worse. We take addicts who are addicted because they’re isolated and suffering, isolate them in prison cells and make it impossible for them to get jobs when they leave, and inflict more pain and suffering on them. As the doctor from Vancouver said to me, if you wanted to create a system that would make addiction worse, you would create the system that we have.

An Open Letter to Anyone Who Loves a Drug Addict

I know you didn’t know what you were getting into when you found out I was a drug addict. It hit me just as hard as you, the day they made me say my name attached to it. If you ask why I do it, I could give you a list of excuses that make using acceptable. You are not the main reason I choose to use. Sometimes you are a factor, and sometime it’s something else. Everything and anything is a trigger, as long as I can find a way to justify my using. My addiction did not start with you, so don’t blame yourself.  I was like this long before, and I’ll be this way long after you decide you can’t take it anymore. There’s just this empty, vacancy inside of me that’s eating me alive. I know what I’m putting inside my body isn’t helping, but my dopamine levels tell me otherwise. I’m trying to reconstruct myself back into the girl I was before whatever died and rotted inside of me; before The Monster came along. I know you want to see her instead of this. It kills me inside that you watch me closely as I leave the room, and when I reenter, you assess me to see if I’ve only snuck off to silence my demons. They don’t just go away when I have company; they sit there gnawing at my feet until I finally give in. Believe me, when I’ve had enough I will put it down and walk away, but right now is not the right time. You’re here at the worst possible time; you didn’t know how bad it was. I should’ve warned you. I keep telling myself to cut you off because it’s better that way. Maybe, you could just walk away and forget you saw me in this state. You’ve overcome obstacles and deserve to be surrounded by people who help push you forward. You don’t deserve to watch me waste away. We’ve both been through hell and back too many times and I refuse to drag you into mine. I can’t promise I’ll stop using any time soon, I can’t promise anything. I will say this: one day, I will put this down and I will find a way to revive myself. You are still a part of my life even though The Monster has taken over the majority of it. You know how easy it is for me to get stuck in a repetition, but you have to remember that I will get sick and tired of sitting in this hole, day in and day out. I promise that you will see the person you met years ago again. You won’t have to look at these tired eyes, or watch me fidget incessantly. One day, just not now. If you leave, just know I understand and I don’t blame you. Yes, I will be devastated and yes, I will use it as yet another excuse to use but you have a right to be just as selfish as I’m being. You deserve your happiness and peace of mind. I have never wanted to scream out apologies as much as I have in the last few years. Most of all, I’m sorry I can’t be there for you like you need me to. I’m sorry for being a shitty human being in general. I will turn everything around. Just not right now. At the end of the day, this is my decision. I choose my drugs and until I can healthily cope with everything that’s led me up to this point, I will choose the drugs. This doesn’t mean I don’t love you with every fiber of my being. I can promise you are still the first and last thing on my mind tonight. I don’t know if you’ll ever see this but if you happen to stumble across it, give it a chance. This is the most truthful I’ve been in a very long time. I love you. I love you. I love you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to be drug into this with me.

Love yourbrother/sister/daughter/son/mother/father/boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/best friend/cousin/uncle/aunt
but better known as the drug addict

—  in case you  had forgotten that I cared.

anonymous asked:

Oh please stop with the 'no one is saying zayn is a drug addict act.' you and whatiwishicould having been implying it since nov. You didnt outright say it, but you both did imply it. Say what you think and stop being a hyprocite. You say we dont need to shut down drug addiction discussions, which i agree completely, yet when it was louis, it got shut down so fast. And this is where i have a problem. If you are really worried, then discuss both of them and not one.

Louis going to the bathroom is proof of a coke addiction — not reasonable.

Louis acting happy on stage (as elounor break up rumors start spreading fast) means he must be on drugs — not reasonable.

Louis looking stressed out and rapidly dropping weight in 2013 very probably might be drug related — reasonable.

Zayn going home because of ‘stress’ with dire consequences for the band after he himself dropped a lot of weight and missed some major public appearances might be drug related — reasonable. In fact, it’s the public’s most common go-to. I received this email yesterday afternoon from a friend who does not care about 1D and pays no attention to them at all:

Zayn with ‘stress’. That’s usually PR code for ‘in need of rehab.’

And I’m sorry, I have eyes, I see Zayn looking very unwell, I might write a tag like ‘I hope he’s okay’. That’s not me ‘casting shade’. That’s me worried about his well-being, in an environment in which even trying to be tactful by saying he looks ‘gaunt’ gets you immediately attacked as a ‘hypocrite’ (because I said during the Bandaid appearance that he looked like Michael Jackson).

And yes, I see Zayn looking like that after missing The Today Show, and I very much fucking hope that he’s okay.

People are very, very afraid of drug addiction, which has led to this environment in which fans are afraid to even whisper the word while the rest of the world shouts it. Because they perceive it as character assassination, because substance addiction is stigmatized, because apparently only ‘bad people’ or ‘weak people’ have substance use problems—which is a common attitude, but it’s total bullshit. That is an extremely harmful attitude that hurts a lot of people. Stigma hurts people. And I admit that when I saw Louis rapidly dropping weight, and I saw Zayn losing so much weight and looking so unwell and missing so many appearances, I kept my thoughts to myself because it’s such a loaded topic. But at this point, regardless of whether it’s true or not, it’s become an elephant in the room, a room full of stigma and fear and censored thoughts—and at this point, I think somebody needs to open the window to let a bit of air into the room. So yes, let’s talk about it and stop pretending like the possibility doesn’t exist.

After a lengthly discussion with a fellow blogger (who wishes to remain private) about drug abuse/addictions I feel this post needed to be made.

The stigma attached to drug abuse is incredibly strong. Addicts are referred to as burnouts, losers, called selfish and told that their problems are insignificant. Talk of addiction is often accompanied by an accusatory tone and the general idea that those who suffer from it are some how lesser than those who don’t. Given these associations I understand why people are hesitant to discuss the possibility the Zayn may have a drug problem. We feel it is our duty as fans to protect him from hateful comments. What I think people don’t realize though is that stifling discussion about addiction contributes to the stigma surrounding it.

Keep reading

Let's Talk About: Addiction Detox/Withdrawal

So you’re character is about to go through some detox or withdrawal. (Or maybe you yourself, or someone you know is about to and you’re wondering what is ahead.)

You know it’s not as simple as 'it was rough for a few days but now I'm just fighting off the cravings' but beyond that, you have no idea what happens or what it feels like. Let’s find out.

Side note: Addiction is a terrible, complicated disease that should not be taken lightly or at face-value. With this post, I’m not looking at addiction from a personal perspective (I am not a recovering addict or currently addicted to any substances), but through a writer’s perspective. I’ve personally only had experience living with a very close family member battling their own addictions -which obviously impacted me in a different way than if I had been the one addicted to something. I do not go into these experiences because of their personal nature. I’m not going to get everything right in this, which I invite anyone who feels comfortable, to add or correct anything that I may have researched wrong.
If you or anyone you know is battling addictions, seeking help or doesn’t know where to turn: Call 1-888-299-8125 to speak to a caring addiction helpline advisor [via].


Common Prescription Painkiller Withdrawal Symptoms

People who have been taking drugs like OxyContin, Vicodin, Percocet or Lortab long enough to become physically and emotionally dependent can expect to experience withdrawal symptoms such as:

  • Low energy
  • Flu-like symptoms
  • Tremors or shaking
  • Anxiety
  • Achiness
  • Nausea
  • Poor appetite
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Sweating
  • Moodiness
  • Confusion
  • Headache

These symptoms may become evident soon after the person stops taking the drug(s), usually worsening for several days and then remain somewhat constant for as long as a few weeks.

Making Detox as Comfortable as Possible

During detox there are medicines which can ease the discomfort. Methadone is one such medication which may be used to lessen the pain of withdrawal. In addition there are medications like Suboxene which can help to control drug cravings during detox, rehab and beyond. For those who want to give going “cold turkey” a try, most detox and rehab facilities offer a program for treating withdrawal symptoms individually as they arise.


What are the risk factors?

Withdrawal symptoms are usually not life threatening. Some people have heard of delirium tremens, or “the DTs.” Although people experiencing alcohol withdrawal might experience some form of tremors, actual delirium tremens is rare and can involve agitation, severe confusion, hallucinations, fever and seizures.

Complications related to opiate withdrawal includes vomiting and breathing that into your lungs. However, the biggest complication is returning to drug use. Most opiate overdose deaths occur in people who have either just withdrawn or been detoxed. Withdrawal reduces a person’s tolerance to the drug, and those who have just undergone detox can overdose on a much smaller dose than they’re used to taking.


Symptoms of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome

In general, the severity of alcohol withdrawal symptoms increases in tandem with the amount and duration of prior alcohol consumption.

Minor alcohol withdrawal symptoms often appear six to 12 hours after alcohol cessation, sometimes while patients still have a measurable blood alcohol level. These symptoms include:

  • Shaky hands
  • Sweating
  • Mild anxiety
  • Nausea and/or vomiting
  • Headache
  • Insomnia

Between 12 and 24 hours after alcohol cessation, some patients may experience visual, auditory, or tactile hallucinations which usually end within 48 hours. Although this condition is called alcoholic hallucinosis, it’s not the same as the hallucinations associated with DTs. Most patients are aware that the unusual sensations aren’t real.


Cocaine Detox

For the most part, cocaine addiction is a psychological addiction. Unlike heroin addiction or other opiate-related dependencies, the physical component of the problem is less significant than the psychological component. There are, however, reports by patients of withdrawal symptoms that include:

  • Headaches
  • Irritability
  • Paranoia
  • Fatigue
  • Insomnia
  • Restlessness
  • Nightmares
  • Depression
  • Increase in appetite
  • General malaise

When a mental health issue is co-occurring, these symptoms can be significantly worse. What makes cocaine detox unique among other detox programs is its ability to help the patient on a personal level to address the symptoms experienced as well as co-occurring issues and find a place of stability from which to begin truly intensive cocaine addiction treatment that addresses psychological issues of dependency.

Emotional Issues While Coming off of Cocaine

The biggest problems that most cocaine addicts experience during detox when they stop using cocaine are extreme emotional issues. Mood swings, intense anger and irritability, deep depression and even violence are not uncommon. The cravings for the drug can leave addicts feeling as if they cannot function without it. They believe that they will never have the energy they need to accomplish everything on their to-do list, much less accomplish their goals with any proficiency.

Increased Appetite

Increased appetite is a recognized aspect of cocaine withdrawal, and may be exacerbated by not eating properly while you were high on cocaine.

Physical Slowing or Agitation

People going through cocaine withdrawal often experience a kind of physical slowing down, called psychomotor retardation, or conversely, they can feel physically agitated.


Sex Addiction Withdrawal Symptoms

Nicotine Withdrawal Symptoms & Recovery





It’s such a sad moment when you realize you’ve become everything you swore to yourself you would never be..When you look in the mirror, and all you see is that your biggest fears have come true after all, you have become her.
—  Me - (4am thoughts when I Should be sleeping)