Okay… so I posted about a dream I had sometime last week I believe? It was about me getting married. But last night I had another unusual dream.. and this time it was super intense.
I dreamt that a friend told me my ex of 5 years just recently got married to someone he only seeing for no more than 3 months. My reaction was so realistic- at first I was really shocked and I couldn’t believe it. I was saying to them, he only knew her for 3 months and married her? How could he! My friends told me, get over it, it’s been a year. I tried to brush it off but my friends said they have attended his wedding, and were about to show pictures of the event. I covered my eyes and ran away from them, I was in complete denial. I remember telling myself, this is just a dream, it’s just a nightmare, just go with it, and I’ll wake up and none of this has really happened.
It was then that I unlocked lucid dreaming.
I began to control everything around me, and of all things to do in lucid dreaming, I began to naturally react to the news my friends have given me. I began to find pictures, his facebook account, anything. And in the dream, it was true. Pictures of him in a tux, posing with his best men. I did not see a picture of his bride, but in one picture he was cuddling her, but she was covered by many people posing for the camera happily.
The scene switches to me sitting in a bar alone, drinking heavily to take pity on myself and the direction my life has gone. I was crying, wondering how my ex could have married so quickly, while I reflected on my relationship with him- I waited 5 years hoping for something and it never happened. He didn’t love me as deeply as he did for that person he found within 3 months. I cried harder when I began to wonder what went wrong. My self esteem was nearly non-existent. I continued drinking, searching for the feeling of numbness. I didn’t want to think anymore. My head started to throb, and I was slowly waking up.
I woke up feeling really crappy, my head was so heavy, it felt like I drank an entire bottle of wine. I wonder what this can mean, with me having dreams about weddings and marriage.