//Okay, this has been bothering me for the past few days and I just need to write it down and express this.
A few nights ago, I had a dream where I was trapped in Heavenly Host. Now I know what you might be thinking, but please take this seriously because I think this means something huge.
Back in 2012, my best friend, whom I dearly loved, passed away.
In this dream, I was alone, and all I could do to keep myself sane was think of him and all the memories I had with him.
Until, finally, I reached the basement door.
I was about to open it, when he suddenly appeared, grabbing my wrist and saying quietly, faintly, “I love you.”
And, apparently it felt natural and unsurprising to me, because I whispered, “I love you too”, and together we moved on into the basement in search of a way out of the dark hell of Heavenly Host.
But as we walked, spirits clearly representing users/friends I have made online and offline, such as partyhardkishinuma, misesu, suzume-suzumoto, theassholeduo, horrorpresident, sorasanskittles, etc., would try to drag me away from him, pleading me to open my eyes and move on.
But I wouldn’t listen to them, and I would only continue to tell him how much I loved him, even if he wouldn’t reply. It was like I was blinded by the denial of losing him, only wanting to cling and depend on him forever.
But, we followed those spirits, until finally there was a bright light, and when I looked over to him to smile and say that we made it, I realized that he, too, was a spirit.
I then asked him, “You’re not really here, are you?”
He responded with, “I can’t return to the world with you, but they can. I’ll be with you, but they’ll be with you too. Let them take care of you, and I’ll do the same. Open your eyes, and move on for me.” (Or something along those lines, it’s a little hazy…)
He was clearly referring to the friends I currently have whom the spirits were representing, and is found that I couldn’t reply to him.
The spirits began to guide me into the light, leaving him behind, and I felt an overwhelming warmth, like I was flying or just being born.
And, then, when the bright light faded, I found that I had woken up, and I felt tears in my eyes and on my cheeks.
After crying for a few minutes, I realized almost every detail of this dream was still easy to remember and recall, unlike my other dreams which I forget almost all of fifteen minutes after I wake up.
I think this means something. The dream was so vivid and meaningful, and I really think he was trying to tell me something.
It was as if the dark and abandoned school, and it’s Darkening, was representing my own darkness and despair, while he represented my loss and pain of the past, while the spirits of my friends represented what I have now, and while the bright light represented the fact that I have a future and I need to move on to it, to stop clinging onto the pain of the past.
I can’t stop thinking about this and I’m really amazed by it all.