Dostoevsky

Dostoevsky goes up to the counter and spends two hours frantically trying to decide what to order. When he finally makes a decision, he sits in a corner and broods for the next several weeks. He is finally arrested for loitering and taken to prison overnight. He fears that he will face execution. He is an idiot.

Where is it I’ve read that someone condemned to death says or thinks, an hour before his death, that if he had to live on some high rock, on such a narrow ledge that he’d only room to stand, and the ocean, everlasting darkness, everlasting solitude, everlasting tempest around him, if he had to remain standing on a square yard of space all his life, a thousand years, eternity, it were better to live so than to die at once. Only to live, to live and live! Life, whatever it may be!
—  Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment.
God is necessary, and therefore must exist."
“Well, that’s wonderful.”
“But I know that he does not and cannot exist.”
“That’s more like it.”
“Don’t you understand that a man with these two thoughts cannot go on living?
—  Fyodor Dostoevsky, Demons