don't-mind-me-i'm-just-here-with-my-feelings-;_____;

maidenpools asked:

I have a question for you - why do you think the farm scene didn't end in them reassuring each other? Also, I have a feeling we're going to get a fair amount of deleted content featuring these two, together and apart, on the extended edition on DVD.

(I will say I’ve read your little piece on this too, so that might get referenced here, just as an aside before I start) 

I kind of think it did though? He didn’t put his arms around her and stroke her hair and murmur that oh no, you’re not this or you’re not that in her ear but I don’t think he needed to? And besides, sometimes exactly what you want to hear isn’t exactly what you want to hear. These two are incredibly honest with each other I think, that’s a theme that runs through the whole film for them, they don’t play each other false, they don’t feed each other sweet lies when the alternative is a bitter truth.

 I think what they offer and what they get and give in that scene is everything they have and everything they need to hear; they kind of, open themselves up and almost try and drive each other away with their history and their truth and the other chooses not to run from it as expected, but to run with it and you end up with this sense of acceptance between them which I think is more important to them in a way. 

More explanation under the cut because concise and I have never been introduced and I didn’t want to clog up everyone’s dash with yet more meta… 

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mk last vent
just had the shittiest day I’ve had in a few months and I’ve been crying on and off all day which makes me feel like a hot mess and I hate feeling like that
so
I’m reflecting on it and why I feel this way and am going through all of this and I see that I really need to work on my weak areas because when my weaknesses are played up I just go down real fast
so
here I am. absolutely effing done with today and I literally hope I don’t have to relive it ever again
I also just need to get my crap together, TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, rely on God more, buckle down, get serious with myself, let myself wander and adventure, and also act quicker on my responsibilities. I also need a few things to line up that are outside of my control.

but my friends have been incredible today. all of them. they are so amazing. Hope and V and Jenna are my lifelines today. I’m so thankful.


probably gunna go cry myself to sleep because if I cry all day I might as well let it out one more time so it doesn’t happen again later this week.

cheers to all my high feeling friends out there.

I also fall into that trap, of feeling pressured to conform to asinine bullshit I see on here, simply because it takes on a certain authority when it’s in print, despite my knowing that this person would be easily dismissed if this were to take place in a face-to-face conversation

I think that’s also why online bullying / hoaxes / etc are so effective, because we are conditioned to ascribe a certain weight to printed word, and without hearing a person’s intonations, accent, stammering, etc. each piece of information comes across as equally valued as the next

And coupled with just simply someone’s opinion, especially when it’s targeted at you, you think: Yeah, but he/she wouldn’t have said that if it weren’t true, right? … as if no one speaks from emotions or experiences or denial or anger, and everything is a cold hard fact

Anyway… I guess it’s an impetus for me to keep in mind to, I don’t know, keep my sanity and remember to take everything with a grain of salt and consider the context. But it’s hard for me, since I am so easily angered and end up depressing myself into a delusion

...2am

I did not go to sleep until it was 2am Monday, plus I woke up at 5:30 even though I still managed to get out from home late for school (guess I’m lucky my professor hadn’t arrived) and…
I don’t even know, am I sleepy?? I can’t tell anymore, since I always seem to feel tired to some degree…

Ah but I’m just complaining here, don’t mind me.
Happy monday everyone