don gummer


The greatest break in my life was when I met Don Gummer, there’s no question in my mind about that. I think that a relationship will be succesful when it is based on unconditional love. After all these years Don and I still love each other as much as we did in the beginning. The trick is to keep listening to each other. You have to listen to each others frustrations, wishes, desires and anticipate and learn from each other. It sure isn’t easy being married to an actress. But if you give each other space you also get closeness. And time is still the best thing we can give each other nowadays. Even I need to take a deep breath sometimes, pause. Like a farmer, who doesn’t plant his field for a year. And in these breaks I want my husband to be around me all of the time. In the morning. In the afternoon. In the evenings and during the night. He is a man of few words. I do all the babbling. He listens and recieves. And he loves me as I am: hyperactive and eager, even at this age. He is an artist, introverted and introspective. I’m a fake artist, a mask. He is a sculptor of matter, I’m one of expressions. We’re an odd couple, but in our own way perfect. The man that I love is so completely a part of my body, he’s related, he’s home, he’s me, he’s everything. Yeah.. and I love his forearms. But I really can’t go into everything. Just the shape of his forearms.. so beautiful! You have to try to find the same openmindedness as when you were first engadged: take time, evenings, short holidays and spend them together. As an actor I don’t risk getting into a rut in my relationship, but we have the opposite risk: a couple also needs security. My husband and I often do short holidays abroad, as lovers. Our relationship has a good foundation: our love. I need it so bad, I could not live without love. And we just fit together. We share common interests, politics too. We read a lot, but we accept each other’s opinions, if the other doesn’t like the same. I don’t play the big star at home, sometimes I step back and quit making movies. So we spend a lot of time together and we can go on vacations. He’s very happy about that. I think we have a good marriage. and weirdly, we do seem to agree on most of the big things, like money and the kids and sex, which is what I’m told a lot of people fight about. we seem to be on the same page on those things. He’s wonderful, He’s like me, I mean, he’s very private. And he never says anything he doesn’t mean. He’s warm, strong, gentle, funny, kind, understanding, very creative. I couldn’t live with someone who wasn’t creative. The marriage is the best thing that has happened to me - no, not the marriage - Don.

Meryl Streep about her husband Don Gummer.