davejade said:

hey speaking of shitty teachers once the guys in my class were talking about domestic abuse and my teacher goes "yeah man!! beat the bitch!" as a joke so i very politely asked him to apologize and he laughed at me and then yelled at me after class saying that i was being inappropriate and disrespectful towards him

Fire his ass.

By which I mean set his ass on fire.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month was first observed in October 1981 by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Today, organizations such as the National Domestic Violence HotlineFutures Without ViolenceMen Stopping ViolenceMagdalene House of Charleston and Save the Children are working to end abuse against women and children. What groups are you supporting this month?

In semi-related news, I know most of you will be 'busy' with Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but please remember October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

For some reason it doesn’t get nearly as much attention/press/public support, so please try to remember October isn’t just about putting pink ribbons on everything…some of the purple ribbons you see may be those worn by survivors of domestic violence, and it needs just as much awareness as any other ‘cause’.

This has been a post.

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Zahuri Petrosyan (top) and Maro Guloyan (bottom, with her daughter). 

Zahuri Petroysian was murdered in 2010 by her husband, Yanis Sarkisov, and her mother-in-law. According to her sister, Hasmig, they “had broken her knees, crushed her skull…[and] threw her down the stairs, pulled her body back into the house, so that they could tell the cops that she fell down the stairs and crushed her bones.”

Maro Guloyan was killed in 2012—her death was declared a suicide, but her parents say that her husband, Gevorg Guloyan, abused her, and that the marks on her neck “indicate death by manual strangulation.” Maro was four months pregnant when she was murdered.

Both women were twenty years old at the time of their deaths, and in neither case was justice adequately served. Their murders represent the violence that is born of “the quintessential taboo in Armenia”: “the problem [of violence against women] is regarded as an effort to destroy the family.”

Today, October 1—the fourth anniversary of Zahuri’s murder—was declared National Day Against Domestic Violence in Armenia by the Coalition to End Violence Against Women in Armenia.

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Former astronaut Mark Kelly explains how an ad that informs voters about where candidates stand on gun violence isn’t a reason for press (see: Politico) to call his wife Gabby Giffords ”mean,” especially with American lives at stake.

The reality of how lax gun laws increase people being shot to death by intimate partners is illustrated in this very telling Mother Jones graph: 

States that choose to deal with domestic violence by focusing on arming women are making a big mistake. 

Some chilling numbers, via Everytown for Gun Safety:

More than half of the women killed with guns in the U.S. are murdered by their partners. Every month, 46 women are shot and killed in the U.S. by a current or former boyfriend or spouse. We researched mass shootings between January 2009 and January 2013 and found that 57 percent of mass shootings involved the murder of a partner or other close family member.

Because If I Was Honest, Everything I Knew Would Explode

Because If I Was Honest, Everything I Knew Would Explode

October 1 marks the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which I have complicated feelings about. The numbers are frightening and important: one out of 10 teenagers are abused by someone they are dating. Domestic violence homicides claim the lives of three women every day. The Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2013 was met with resistance, with politicians wanting to…

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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Get involved and say NO MORE. This is not just a women’s issue. It is everyone’s responsibility to take the initiative to put an end to these issues. Take Action! Say it. Share it. Show it.

http://nomore.org/

http://joyfulheartfoundation.org/

http://www.thehotline.org/

Our neighbour, a young man, had been endlessly harassing me, confessing love. To avoid his harassment, I left my job under my parents’ strong advice. My father tried to talk to him and his parents; for some time he left me alone, but as soon as I had an admirer, he appeared again, threatening that I [belonged] to him. Once, on my way home, a car crossed my way, he got out of it and forced me to get into the car with the help of his friends. I tried to persuade him to take me back home, but in vain. They took me to one of his friend’s cottage; I tried to escape, but that attempt failed. It made him even more nervous, and he raped me. When my parents [found out] about it they asked him to bring me back home. Several days later he took me back home and asked for my hand, but my parents rejected [him] and applied to [the] Prosecutor’s Office. This incident ruined my life, I don’t know how I [can] live on…
—  Victim of bride-kidnapping, a tradition that has for the most part disappeared in Armenia (No Pride in Silence: Countering Violence in the Family in Armenia)

So I have a small rant and I mean it in the best way so please please do not get offended. I’m not saying one thing is worse than another I am just saying there are OTHER things that need awareness too:
October is awareness month for multiple different cancers. I understand why. Cancer is devastating to not only the person with it but their whole family too. Cancer runs in my family. All different kinds. I know people that have died of cancer and it is devastating. But why is that the only thing we talk about? Did you know it’s also pregnancy and infant loss awareness month? No? Did you know it’s domestic abuse awareness month? 1 in 4 pregnancies end before a child is viable for life. Almost half of all domestic abuse victims die either by their partners hand or their own. The chance of surviving cancer has gone up something like 60% in 10 ish years I believe. I’m not saying cancer awareness shouldn’t be know but…. who doesn’t know about cancer? I’m sorry if this is incensitive. I support all awareness which is why I’m posting this.

Zaruhi Petrosyan was a young mother of a two-year-old infant girl when her life came to an end after an alleged fall down a flight of stairs. At the time, her husband claimed that the death had been an accident. However, her bruised and battered body attested to beatings that had extended over a long period of time. This was more than sufficient evidence to bring her unfortunate death to the public’s attention.

It would not be surprising if most Armenians do not recall her name or remember the circumstances that led to her death. Zaruhi was not the first—nor has she been the last—victim of domestic violence, a crime that is still not recognized in the Armenian Penal Code. It is a form of behavior rooted in the mores of conservative, patriarchal societies. A complex set of life experiences that amplifies the sense of entitlement that is imparted to males during their formative years (as compared to females) triggers this violence as a normal response in their relationship with wives, children, or female companions. It is an insidious, pernicious form of behavior associated with a subset of men that degrades women and destroys their self-esteem.

As yet, domestic violence is not part of public discourse either in Armenia or the diaspora. Men may shrug off its existence by saying that while it might exist, it is very much exaggerated. Some may add the gratuitous comment that an occasional slap does not rise to the level of domestic violence. One would assume that women would be more sympathetic to this problem, yet some fail to identify with the hell that countless numbers of their counterparts endure daily. Others refrain from vocalizing their outrage—sometimes for fear of being labeled a feminist or being accused of attacking “family values.” Whatever the reason, the fact remains that there are men who routinely brutalize their wives to the point where the hapless victim begins to doubt her self-worth—doubts that may well lead her to believe that the stinging slap across the face or the punch to the body was deserved because she had failed as a wife or mother. If this physical violence was not sufficient, she may have to endure being reprimanded or ridiculed in front of her children, eroding what remaining self-esteem or authority she may have left within the family.

The difficulties associated with raising public awareness with respect to domestic violence may lie in the fact that it remains a hidden, unrecognized crime. It is a crime carried out within the isolated confines of the home. It is a crime usually with few if any compassionate witnesses. It is a crime that may be stoically endured by the victim because she may falsely believe that the punishment is deserved. Victims who are engaged with the public on a daily basis will try to hide their bruises while other victims may be punished by being prevented from seeing friends or family. Many of these women fear reprisal by their husbands if they seek help, while others, even knowing that help is available, may not have the strength, courage, or opportunity to escape their intolerable situation. Having young children only increases their difficulty in seeking help. As a result, the number of cases of domestic violence that are officially recorded bears no relationship whatsoever to the prevalence of the problem in Armenia. Unfortunately, this only fortifies those who do not accept domestic violence as a serious problem…

Let it be said again and again and again. There can never be a situation that can ever justify a man striking a woman. This is a lesson learned as a child from my widowed mother, and it is a lesson that should be ingrained in every boy and reinforced in every man. I still remember a kind lovely Armenian neighbor that my mom would visit with me in tow as a youngster. Her husband was known to physically abuse her. Years later when she died I attended her wake. Now she has peace was on the lips of every knowing woman mourner. How is it possible to have a female friend at any stage of your life or to profess your love for a woman and still believe that you can abuse her?

October

October is domestic violence awareness month. In honor of this month, I would like to say a few of the following.
- you deserve respect. You are a person, and have thoughts and feelings just like everybody else.
- if someone you know is in a domestic violence relationship, please please try to get them help. Even if it means that they hate you in the end.
-if you have been apart of a physically/emotionally abusive relationship in the past, I would just like to say that im sorry. I would also like to say that you are amazing and strong.

If you or anyone you know is in an physically or emotionally abusive relationship, feel free to google and contact your local advocacy program. Or contact to nearest one.


Remember; you are not alone.

Today was busy but VERY promising.

So today I spent all morning in a 4-hour workshop getting certified to substitute teach in a special education classroom. That was very information heavy, but very beneficial. Learned a lot of medical info, and of course a lot of the facts (not anti-vaccer myths) about conditions like Autism, ADHD, Aspergers, etc. It was all extremely educational.

Then I found out I was admitted to OSU Tulsa to take the post-baccalaureate grad courses I want to take so I can get certified as a full-fledged Oklahoma teacher. And it took them less than 24 hours to admit me, so that was kind of cool. So, yay! I guess!

Then tonight I had my 2nd to last four-hour training sessions to be a volunteer advocate for DVIS/Call Rape. There are a lot of advocate options available to us, like shelter advocate, the family safety center advocate, the incarcerated inmates advocate, etc. But what I am most drawn to is to be a hospital advocate.

That is where I would sit with a survivor of a sexual assault - male or female adult, the children are usually interviewed one-on-one w/ the S.A.N.E. nurse (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) - and just help the victim/survivor get through the process of their intake and exam. Help them find new clothes and/or a safe place to stay, make sure all children involved are in a safe place, and to refer the client (the survivor) to any and all sources that could help her/him/them.

Anyway, tomorrow I’m having a teensy bit of dental surgery (blech) And then finally go and complete my final 4-hour course for DVIS/Call Rape.

I’m just feeling really great right now. It’s kind of weird how a lot of things can just start falling into place at a certain point in your life.

And I no it’s no coincidence that I’m currently under the care of probably the BEST primary care doctor I’ve ever seen who’s helping me w/ my fibromyalgia, insomnia, anxiety, depression, chronic pain, etc.

I kind of just feel like things are finally starting to “come up Sarah”, more or less, haha. {{knock on wood}}

Now all I need is enough money to pay all my bills, lol.

= - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - 

P.S. - OCTOBER IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH AND THE COLOR IS PURPLE! WEAR PURPLE ON THURSDAYS!!!

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#WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft: Ray Rice, and the Cycle of Relationship Violence

By: Billieanne Maurizi

               Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you have probably heard about the Ray Rice domestic violence scandal. Even if you have been paying attention, it may have been difficult to keep up with what was going on. To clear things up a bit, here is a quick timeline of the events as they happened:

There is so much that really needs to be talked about with this whole situation, but what I want to focus on is the atrocious victim blaming that has been seen across the Internet. I have personally had many arguments with people both on and offline about how Janay Palmer married Ray Rice about a month after the elevator incident occurred. Many people blamed her for staying;  I’ve even heard people claim that she stayed for his money.

All of these people are wrong.

 Not only are they wrong, but also they have a fundamental misunderstanding of how the cycle of relationship violence works.

         When someone is involved in an abusive relationship, it is NEVER as simple as just leaving. It’s never as simple as packing up your things and telling them it’s over. 70% of all violence occurs when a woman tries to leave the relationship. 

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Abusive relationships usually don’t start out abusive. Often the beginning of abusive relationships  starts begin  in the “honeymoon phase”, where everything is great and the connection is strong. Everything seems calm for a while but then the tension starts to build. Often times, the abuser isolates their victim. They slowly cut them off from all of their friends and family, often making them financially dependent on them.  Then, after each incidence of violence, the abuser comes to them begging them to stay, saying they won’t do it again. But then they do it again, and again, and again. It is an extremely difficult cycle to break, and it is never, ever as simple as just leaving.  To reiterate, 70% of violence occurs when the woman tries to leave.

After the videos were released, and the victim blaming began, two twitter hashtags were started to show support for victims of domestic violence and to highlight why it is never as simple as just leaving. #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft began trending, and the tweets were heartbreaking. I myself even participated, having been a part of an abusive relationship in the past.

 

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 It took me two years to get out of that relationship. It took two years of my best friend, my mom, and several other people pulling me aside and telling me that how this guy was treating me was not okay. I remember a friend of mine’s mom sent me a long message telling me that what I was experiencing was abuse. I didn’t listen, and then I deleted the message out of fear that he would see it and retaliate. That should have been enough for me to realize that the relationship was toxic, but I didn’t. I didn’t see it because I didn’t want to. I told myself that they didn’t know him like I did, they didn’t see the good stuff. That’s how the cycle of abuse works.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please know that you are not alone. Below are some links to some resources for how to get out of an abusive relationship, and how to help someone who is in one.

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For Domestic Violence Awareness Month and #DecolonizeDVAM we are having a contest. The winners will receive beadwork (courtesy of Stormie Perdash) featured above.

It is an artwork contest and we want you to demonstrate what decolonizing the anti-violence movement means to you. Some of the topics we are going to cover in our teach-in series this month are: Healthy relationships, what DV/IPV is, carcerality and the problems with VAWA, #FreeMarissa, the state and non-profit co-opting of the Battered Women’s Movement, and victim-centered/transformative justice.

Your art can be digital, graphic, and/or hand-drawn. It can also be in the form of photography. Get creative! You can submit your piece to Save.Wiyabi.Project@Gmail.com and we will be selecting 3 winners. This is contest is open everyone, we cannot wait to see your submissions!

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Funeral of Maro Guloyan, who in 2012 was murdered by her husband, Gevorg Guloyan. Her death has been passed off as suicide, but marks found on her neck are consistent with those found in persons who were killed by manual strangulation—certainly not a wound it is possible to inflict upon oneself. 

Ok so long story short me and this beautiful little boy here moved back in with my parents in Texas a week ago out of an abusive situation back in Cali. I spent the last of my money I had saved on the whole move. My ex is currently making bare minimum and I am only able to get to some of it. Legal actions to do anything, even see someone for a consultation costs money. I’ve found one person, but they live far from me and the gas to pay a friend for it I just can’t afford… I have $75 to my name right now. I’m living with my Mom and my Sister and my Son. My Dad promised to change when we got back but got into a near physical fight with me and my Mom and has been gone going on 5 days now. My Mom has no money. I am literally left to feed the four of us and with my being disabled I can’t exactly work work…  I’m in desperate need of donations of any amount or lots of reblogs to find people who can donate to help feed my family. I shouldn’t have to stay in a physically abusive relationship just to eat or feed my child. I’m on the start of a new path bright for both myself and my son, but it’s really rocky right now and I could SERIOUSLY use some help!!

tl;dr   -    I HAVE A DONATION BUTTON ON MY BLOG. WE NEED FOOD. PLEASE HELP.

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