This is a little fic I wrote because I needed some angst
It’s a Twist and Shout!Au where everything’s the same except for it’s in modern times (
(Don’t judge me it’ll make sense))
Dean tapped one of the keys on the piano.
It has been a year since Cas died, and Dean still can’t get those beautiful blue eyes out of his head. The ones that brightened up his day, the ones that made his world go round, the ones that told them that there was hope, and good in the world.
Now those eyes were gone. Leaving Dean all alone.
Dean started playing a familiar tune that he heard on the radio recently. He loved the song because it reminded him of those sky blue eyes. He began to sing,
“Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now,”
Every night, Dean will lay in the bed that belonged to the two of them. He would always cuddle with Cas, and enjoy every minute of it.
“Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same.”
Every time he heard that song Cas loved so much come on the radio, Dean would tear up a bit. He understood why Cas would love that song, He said that he couldn’t help falling in love with Dean… Guess that made it their song…
“When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down, because my heart breaks a little, when I hear your name.”
Castiel. Castiel Novak.
“It all just sounds like, Ohh. Too dumb, too young to realize, that I should’ve bought you flowers,”
Ever since Dean returned from the war, he was constantly ignoring Cas. Now that he was gone, he wished he hadn’t. He would give anything in the world just to be with him again. In his arms, smiling and laughing with each other.
“And held your hand. Should’ve gave you all my hours, when I had the chance.”
He had spent months on the bed, isolating himself from his true love… He physically hurt himself for not being there for his lover when he needed it.
“Take you to every party, cause all you wanted to do was dance,”
That’s when Dean first saw Castiel.. at a party. He was dancing with a woman. He forgot who it was now, but he knows now, that was the moment his life took a turn.
Before moving on, Dean decided to change the lyrics a bit, just so that it feels like he was singing to Cas. Because he was.
“Now my baby’s dancing, but he’s dancing up in Heaven.”
Dean was tearing up at this point. He didn’t understand why this happened to him. He loved Cas, why did he have to go away?
“My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways. Caused a good strong lover like you to slip from my eyes.”
That was it. Dean was too bad to Cas, he was beating him up. And poor Cas suffered the consequences of Dean’s actions of nothingness.
“But I never, Never got to clean up the mess I made. And it haunted me every time I closed my eyes.”
Those dreams Dean had.. it hurt Dean. It broke his heart to see Cas in pain. Dean decided that, because of that, he didn’t want to hurt Cas anymore. And that it was all His fault.
“It all just sounds like, Ohh. Too young too dumb, to realize, That I should’ve bought you flowers. And held your hand. Should’ve gave you all my hours, when I had the chance. Should’ve danced at that party, with you and me hand in hand. Now my baby’s dancing, but she’s dancing up in Heaven.”
Dean was practically clenching the keyboards at this point. He loved Cas, why did he have to go?
Dean practically slammed the keyboards as he sung the next part, tears spilling onto the keyboard.
“Although it hurts, I’ll be the first to say that, I was wrong.”
Dean almost screamed that part. He wanted to tell Cas. Tell him that every thing was his fault. He really did.
But he remembered Cas’s face, and his smile when he told him, It wasn’t his fault.
“Oh, I know I’m probably much too late, to try and apologize for my mistakes, but in another life.”
Dean sighed deeply, knowing that this part was never going to let him go.
“I’m gonna buy you flowers, and hold your hand. Gonna give you all my hours, when I have the chance. Take you to every party, because I know how much you loved to dance. Do all the things I should’ve done… when I was your man.”
Dean mumbled the next lyrics, tapping the keys lightly.
“Do all the things I should’ve done…. when I was your man….”
The song is “When I was your man” by: Bruno Mars ))