An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage… and that much misery is enough!” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son yells. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old dad explained. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!”. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.” She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, you hear me?” she yelled as she hung up the phone. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay”, he says, “it’s all set. They’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare.”

Lessons From Tameka Raymond: 5 Signs You’re On The Cusp Of Becoming A Wild Bitter Ex

1.) You E-Stalk Him On The Daily
Seems harmless at first, a little check up here, a little f-ck were you doing this weekend snooping there, but this is really a half-assed version of letting go. Like a recovering alcoholic who insists on visiting his favorite bar just to gaze up at the liquor bottles. This habit will most certainly lead to subconscious glorification and guess what else? Obsession. Woo, what a word. I’ve most definitely been guilty of this in the past and it can take painful self-discipline, but remind yourself to be the stalker of your own damn life. Scrolling his Twitter feed everyday for subliminal messages is not a high-paying gig mi ladies. 

2.) You E-Stalk His New Gal On The Daily
See above, multiply danger level by 10.

3.) You Mainly Refer To Him As “That *Insert Emasculating Expletive*”
If behind closed doors you keep titling ol boy with an emasculating moniker, it’s only going to make it that much easier for an audible b-tch bomb to drop when he’s in sight. Plus, how can you ever allow someone to grow out of being an a-hole, if you can’t stop referring to them as such?

Click for rest!


It is the most ugliest thing.. The most deadly thing.. The most undesired thing.. The most saddening thing..

It is least desired, unwanted, unattractive….

Yet they are most common for our generation… U get married and there’s a 50/50 chance it will last..

Oh but thank god for the blood.. For restoration.. For picking up broken hearts and making them new. Thank u for continuing to mend my broken heart..

anonymous said:

hey sam i need help.:( i used to self harm my parents got divirced and my mum turned into a whore my dad shot himself i started selfharming again i havent been clean at all yet and ive tried to commit suicide twice so far.i just dont want to live anymore i have no one to live for.... i hate my life so much i have no one...


Before I address your ask, can I just ask for your name? If you come back to talk to me, it’ll be easier to know who you are!

I’m really sorry about your dad! Life can be extremely hard, and I can only imagine what his loss felt like to you. I’m deeply sorry for your loss.

I’m also sorry that you felt the need to self harm again. But I understand that you were able to stop for a time? That’s very good, it means you can stop again, and you can live without it. I know it may seem impossible right now, but I’m sure that with time, you’ll be able to do it! You can try to use tricks such as writing or drawing on your arm instead of cutting, or you can put ice on your skin when you feel the urge to cut, there are many things you can do to reduce the number of cuts you make. It won’t be easy at first, and you might relapse, but that’s okay, it’s all part of the process. Try to stay clean for a few hours at first, then a day, and then move on to longer periods of time, it’ll be easier!

Darling, I’m again deeply sorry that you tried to commit suicide. I wish I could show you all the beautiful things this world has to offer, so that you would see how much there is to look forward to in life. I know that right now, you feel like nothing can possibly be worth living for, but trust me, there is so much out there. One day, you’ll fall in love with someone who loves you just as much; you’ll travel and see wonders you never thought existed; you’ll laugh so hard you will start to cry; you’ll listen to a piece of music so beautiful, you won’t be able to stop yourself from smiling. I know that all those things can happen to you, if only you just hang in there.

There are people out there who love you, I’m sure of it. Your friends care about you, and your mother too, and your teachers or your coworkers, they would all be devastated to hear that you don’t want to live. I care about you, too. Please don’t kill yourself, you still have so much to live for, and you deserve so much better than what you’ve gotten so far. I know that you’re going through a terrible time of your life, but I also know that there can be more happy moments in your future that will make your current life seem like a bad dream. Hang in there, and fight, and win, and then you’ll be happy and you will shine.

I really hope this helped, don’t hesitate to come to me again,

Your friend,