Sometimes it amazes me how people act.
But most of the time it doesn’t.
I am becoming increasingly irritated with man lately.
My hopes are built up
and then crash to the ground
into a million little sad tears.
They’re like tears in my heart
welling out blood
with every heaving breath I take.
All roll up into one
heaping mass of
water that drowns me.
I am alone.
I will always be alone.
I am here in this well of sadness alone.
My friends have given up on me,
The “true” ones.
I am here alone again.
My skin is starting to crawl.
I am getting sick
of human kind.
I am getting fed up with humanity.
Why is there no one I can trust?
Why do they all live their own lives
without trusting someone special?
I don’t believe that it doesn’t exist.
Buy why have I never seen it?
Why have my tastes for humanity not been satiated?
Where are you people that matter?!
Where is everyone?!
Why am I alone?
Put a ladder at my feet, God.
I need your help.
I trust in something
greater than my limited being
to save me from this prison well.
I am drowning here,
and have begun to lose hope for anyone’s future.
Show me that it’s not true.
Show me the angels living on earth, God!
Show me their faces, God!
I cannot live without seeing their faces;
those kind, intelligent, white holes in space.
I know they exist,
I am one of them.
Where are my brothers and sisters?
Where are my kind souls?
The devil has taken my loves from me.
She has tempted them away
with better things than I could offer.
Better than an angel’s wings.
What more can I give them, God?
To tempt them back to me.
How can I generate kind souls?
Why haven’t I figured it out yet?
I can see every mistake
but only from my point of view.
I can fix every problem
but only with my hands.
I have neither.
I have a body that is not mine
and I therefore have nothing but my soul.
I cannot transfer my soul to another.
My mouth is sewn shut.
So I can hear and see
but cannot walk.
I have no power where I stand.
There is also anxiety and fear here.
They are in those hands
that are not mine.
They are also in my heart,
and my stomach.
They are terrible companions.
They torture me here
in this hole,
and make the negative energy stronger.
Maybe the devil has not tempted them,
Are we being pulled apart by time?
Or am I being overtaken by the lies of my mind?!
This faulty perception!
This body is ruining me.
Where have I gone?
Why am I here
in the depths of hell?
Where are my wings?
I can remember it all.
This body has betrayed me again!
Discorporate, to leave the body.
Do that again!
Build your soul up and over that alien body
and overtake it with positive magnetic energy.
The solution to this body
that is not mine,
and this hole that it is trapped in
is to leave it…mentally.
Be gone, evil thoughts.
Goodbye hell bound prison.
Goodbye my tender body
and my heart full of tears.
I am off to find solace in myself,
to find stitches to mend you,
to find wings to set you free again,
to bring your light back
to surround you with my love again.