Ok, so after watching tonight’s replay of The Whites Of His Eyes, I finally decided to post about this. I had this OMG moment a while ago, but it seemed so obvious, I thought, we had to have all talked about it or it just seemed too obvious to say anything about, but tonight’s ep brought it home very clearly. (And maybe someone did bring it up, and everyone’s talked about it and I missed it, so forgive me if that’s the case.)
When Jane and Lisbon were about to get married, Jane said, “From now on, we have to promise each other to always look on the bright side.”, and at the time it was a puzzling line. I remember it was poingniant for me, being someone who has dark depression, and this show has helped me a lot, to hear him say that. But at the same time, I didn’t get why he was saying it now. And I remember others saying they thought the same thing.
But now it’s clear to me. When he went away for a week he had to reconcile to himself Lisbon’s choice to stay in law enforcement, and how that would put her in harm’s way. He’d spent WEEKS stressing and sweating about her safety because he worried the worst would come to pass. But as the old serenity prayer goes, “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
He can’t change her choice, he knows that now. But like many things out of our hands, that doesn’t stop our anxiety. So one extremely effective way, is to look at the bright side, to imagine the best of what can happen. It is extremely helpful to someone like me, who, with depression, often defaults to sadness and doubt.
But Bruno said that Jane needed to earn his happy ending with Lisbon. And some of us balked at that, and we also thought he just meant those last couple episodes. But I think he meant the whole second half of season 7. Jane had loved once and lost. Lost in the worst way that can be. And he’s never truly recovered, who could? So it’s extremely hard to love or trust again. But by the grace of the universe he has! After a long 13 years he has fallen in love and trusts Lisbon completely.
Of course the thought of losing her would destroy him. He can’t go through that again. But that’s just it. Jane wants to love without a chance of loss. But there is no such thing. With any love there is a chance of loss. He’s done everything to mitigate the chances of anything happening to her, but there will always be that tiny chance. And he needed to find a way to deal with that.
I remember when Whites of His Eyes or Nothing Gold Can Stay aired, and almost EVERYONE was 50-50 on being on Jane’s side and Lisbon’s side. The feminist in you says, no, this is her choice, no man should tell her how to live her life, and the romantic in you says no, how can you put yourself in such danger when you finally found the love of your life? It wasn’t a choice any of us were ready to make, and most fics didn’t either! Most fics either found a 3rd choice, or had her give up her job, but only after a stern talking to about her life choices.
But it’s much more clear why it all happened now. Lisbon’s a cop, it’s who she is. Jane loves her, she loves Jane. But Jane doesn’t ever want the possibility of losing the woman he loves again. Especially because she means so much more this time, because he understands the preciousness of it.
But you can’t have love without the chance of loss. You can’t. Trying to take away the possibility of losing her was pushing her away and that would mean no love at all. There just is no love without a chance loss. And once he accepted that, everything became clear.
Just like as I sat one day thinking about it and had my little eureka moment about it. But then I thought, “It can’t be that simple”, “someone must have brought it up”, but after watching tonight’s ep I had to bring it up. Just because. And it makes what he says to her before the wedding make so much more sense!
Has anyone else thought about this too, since the last ep?