did-i-just-make-a-text-post

Did Usopp write this post

it’s a cold & it’s a broken hallelujah // for hedonistique

I have no idea about the popularity of this one shot “Kami-sama Ga Yadoru Kotoba" by Chidori Peko but if you haven’t read it yet, just go read it asap, the art is beautiful and it’s basically a MakoHaru doujinshi shhhh

just go read it before reading the read more 

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when tyler screams save i get chills like the emotion he puts into that song and that one moment is so powerful to the point where the emotions are so clear and so honest that i feel like i can feel that exact emotion he is trying to get across in the song

It’s 8:45 a.m., and definitely I’m NOT late this time.

It’s been a week since I went to shopping all the stuff of the stupid camping with the stupid smiling Esper, and today is the “great” day. Haruhi has assembled all the brigade members in the bus station at 9:00 a.m.

This time I’m not wearing the bike, so I’m carrying all the stuff I took to my house in a huge backpack I found in a closet of my house and I decided to bring to the camping. It’s pretty heavy, but luckily I haven’t had to buy one and spend MORE money, if possible.

Also, I left my sister in the house this morning half crying. Since she knew I was going to a camping, she has being insisting me to take her with us, but this time I really couldn’t. Haruhi “reminded” me several times not to take her, that this trip is only for the brigade. And when I say “reminded”, I mean threatening. 

Due to that, I had to check several times this morning that my sister hadn’t hidden inside the bag, just in case.

Don’t know why I’m going to this stupid camping. Sure Haruhi force us (maybe only me) to make all the hard job, like collecting firewood or search poisonous food that we can’t eat or stupid things like mystic creatures. 

I can’t even share a tent with Asahina-san, and instead of her, I have to share it with the annoying Koizumi. Just think about it gives me hives. 

And I don’t know why, but I still have a bad feeling when I think about the camping. Like if something really bad is going to happen. However, I prefer not to think about it, sure is only a delirium. Am I starting to get fever, anyway?

When I arrived to the station, the other four were already there. I wonder if they are all against me and they meet before the time to annoy me. 

Haruhi was staring me with a frown and crossed arms, and I guessed what she would say next.

—You’re late! Penalty! —She said, pointing Kyon with her finger.

Why am I not surprised? My life is so predictable that I’m afraid of myself.

365 days ago

I know this isn’t a personal blog and most of you are not following me for this. But I feel like this is important. At least it is for me and I hope it can help someone out. Please don’t read this if you’re easily triggered or not into personal posts

365 days ago approximately, I was lost, I was afraid, I was hurt. I was lonely. I was also drunk and alone at my place, trying to reach out for help and find someone who had been through the same thing as me because I needed to know if people had survived this. I needed someone to teach me how to survive this. Someone like me. Someone who had been raped. 

I will not give details on what happened exactly. Rape is rape. Wether it happened in the street, in the sheets, when single or in a relationship, it’s rape. I try to have no shame in telling that story and only a few people that I trust know every single detail of what happened to me that night and that’s enough for me (but this is just me and the way I want to handle things and everyone is different). 

And so, 365 days ago approximately, I was looking for help and I came across the same kind of text post as this one. It had the same title, the same purpose even if written differently. I remember crying while reading it, feeling like I could never survive a whole year, like I would never make it through 365 more days. I felt like the truth would eventually kill me, like I would never be able to write this, like these words would never be read.  

I was spending a lot of time on Tumblr, asking my questions anonymously to other rape survivors. I would spend hours crying on my bathroom floor because that was the only room in which nothing had happened to me. I was on AIDS medication, just in case. I had rashes all over my body and face due to the side effects which made me feel like anyone could see what had happened to me. I had two jobs to keep me from thinking too much about it, and I would buy wine every night on my way home. 

I had told three of my closest friends and that was it. I was spending most of my time pretending to be okay, pretending I wasn’t drinking daily or cutting myself. I stopped eating, I was either spending hours in the shower or not showering at all because I couldn’t stand my body or feeling guilty whenever I would touch it even to wash myself. My friends didn’t notice anything because one of them is in the military, one of them was abroad at the time and the last one had recently moved far from where I was living. I cut myself off from everyone, including my family and I lost a lot of “friends” (which turned out to be for the best to be honest). All of this made me believe that I wasn’t needed anymore.

In January, one of my sisters decided to pay me a little visit on her way home after attending a party and found me lying drunk on the floor of my apartment. She called our older sister, and I only remember crying for hours and admitting that I didn’t want to tell our family because the man who had raped me had been a friend of ours for more than a decade and I was afraid they would all be on his side. 

We went to the police station a few days later. That was the first time I ever said I was raped, the very first time I ever used that word (before that day, I used to say that I was just “not totally okay with everything that happened to me that night” because I was afraid people would not believe me if I had said it differently). A woman officer was sitting at her desk, asking what I was here for. I was shaking and speaking low, saying I wanted to press charges. She asked me to be more specific. I remember the look on her face when she heard the word and I felt like all oxygen had gone out of the room. Luckily enough, one of my sisters was by my side.

The officer took us both to a small room. We were joined by a man officer who asked me what had happened to me. He didn’t take my deposition since he was only making sure that my story could be somehow valid. The real deposition was taken a week later by a woman who was answering the phone and talking to her co-workers while hearing me, referring to me as “the rape case”. I had to give details on my lifestyle before and after my rape, which included the names of my past lovers and the things I would agree to do with them in order to prove that this was not usual sex for me. My ex-fiancé had to come and testify and was only asked about our former sex life. My sisters and boss also had to testify. All of them were asked if they believed in my story and if I was the type of person to ever seek attention by telling lies. 

After a month of investigation, I was assigned a lawyer for the confrontation. I faced him and heard his deposition. He basically claimed that I had teased him and that I was dressed as someone who was definitely asking for it. During this confrontation, I also found out that he had raped me several times that night since he mentioned assaults I couldn’t remember at all. 

He was released due to lack of evidence because I never clearly said no since I was paralyzed and too afraid to speak, even when I actually had a medical report to prove the violence of his acts and also proof that he had been harassing me since then. 

I’m not asking for anyone’s pity. I’m just telling the world that this happened to me. It sure as hell is not something that defines me now, I’m not just a victim and there’s more to me than being a survivor, but it is indeed a part of who I am now. The point of this is to tell you that I made it. It’s been a year already and I’m proud to say that I am still alive.

So if you’re reading this and it also happened to you, please stay strong. There are still great days to come. You can make it too. You are beautiful. You are strong. Please don’t harm yourself, people have harmed you enough already. Worship your body, it’s your home. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t ask for it. You are loved. If you feel like cutting yourself, grab a sharpie and draw lines on your body, you don’t need other scars to remind you of what happened to you. Don’t be ashamed to open up. If you need to talk about it a lot or write about it a lot, then please do. Don’t feel guilty or ashamed for using the word rape because that’s what happened to you. You have every right to use it. Don’t ever feel ashamed at all because you did not ask for this. You can still feel pretty, you can still go out. You can still have fun. Don’t pressure yourself and please remember that it is okay to cry and scream and stay in the dark when you need to. Get professional help if or when you feel ready. Eat your favorite meals. Listen to your favorite songs. Listen to songs that will make you feel stronger. Don’t feel guilty whenever you are happy. Don’t feel guilty whenever you are attracted to someone. Don’t feel guilty to be touching yourself, your body is yours only. Don’t feel guilty for still wanting to have sex, wether it’s now or someday. Please, don’t feel guilty because this isn’t on you. Focus on your goals, whatever they may be. You can make it. We can help you get through it. Don’t ever feel alone because you are not.

If anything, please remember that your are definitely not alone. 

you know what i want from mass effect 4

a da:o/skyrim style rpg where you can pick your race and customize your character and be a soldier that was a part of the ME3 timeline and participates in the final battle for earth

like an asari who originated on thessia and was there when it fell and had to evacuate

or a quarian on their pilgrimage when the citadel coup was going on

a turian who was under the command of victus when palaven was attacked, and went with him on the normandy as a guard

a human who had to escape earth when vancouver was attacked

a krogan who was there to see the cure for the genophage become a reality

a salarian that was a doctor on the citadel and helped with the vs’ recovery

a drell who had been training under the priests and was sent to deliver something offworld, and instead was caught up in the citadel coup

just a normal member of their respective society, nothing inherently special or extraordinary, who becomes a hero through their actions even if they arent directly referenced in any history lessons or grand war stories for playing a bigger part.

if you try to give me money then i’ll try to refuse it out of politeness but you should know that i’m poor enough that if you actually try to take it back my self preservation instincts will kick in and you might lose a hand

All this time haters kept calling Sousuke cold, heartless and a jerk, all this time half of this fandom turned against him immediately when he made his first appearance before actually waiting to see what his actual role was in the series, that’s why i tend to stay away from the free! fandom, people jump to conclusions way too quickly and start ship wars that are pointless beyond imagination.

But this…this episode really proved that Sousuke is probably the most selfless, sweetest and the sacrificing person and Rin deserves him more than anything else. What this episode showed at least to me is that Sousuke has always been there for Rin, through and through, silently? yes! but isnt that how guardian angels are supposed to be like? Sousuke is truly Rin’s guardian angel, someone who watches over him, protects him and cares for him. 

And this episode was just so beautiful, Sousuke the guy who some people claimed to be cold and heartless poured his heart out for Rin, asked him to be his friend, seriously Sosuke is so selfless and all that he did was for Rin and Rin only, Rin deserves everything about him.

This is what I love about them so much, when they were kids they parted due to their differences but now they came together as one finally understanding eachother’s feelings, Sousuke who cares and Rin who broke down after seeing his friend hurt and injured. 

That’s what I love about Rin, he may appear rash and dangerous but he really is fragile and sensitive from the inside.

That’s what I love about Sousuke that he may appear cold and arrogant from the outside but he is actually the most loyal friend you would dream of. 

And this is the beauty of their relationship, they are who they really are when they are together, and that’s what makes Sourin so beautiful. 

I think I’m happier so far in 2015 than I’ve been in a long ass time