Today I was at the park with my 3 year old Katie, when I saw a little girl about 4 years old, running around by herself, and suddenly punched both her arms into the air and shouted, ‘duh dhaa I am a winner’!!
Her Mum replied. ‘Darling how can you be a winner when there is no race’?
This inspired my blog, as it got me thinking how many parents speak to their children in this way and what effect does it have on their adult lives.
This weekend I was with my coach, and we were working on our, ‘limiting beliefs’, that hold us back from challenges in life due to fear of failure.
Whilst we did this work, we realised most of us get our beliefs from our parents.
For example; (this one came from a book I read) Lucy feels she cannot lose weight. Every time she tries to lose weight, she succeeds, starts to feel happy and confident and notices the attention she is getting from Men and then she self-sabotages, and ends up ruining all her efforts by binge eating until she has put the weight back on.
The belief came from her parents. When her Mum lost lots of weight, and started having an affair which left the family torn and the children hurt.
Lucy believes deep down, if she gets slim and confident she will have an affair so deep down her subconscious won’t let her lose the weight.
The real example of the Mum in the park today, even though it may be a small sentence, and may not be repeated. However, if she crushes her child’s imagination too frequently, her child may stop dreaming. She may get, ‘real’.
Recently I was in a race, (race for life) someone told me I was going to win and I laughed it off as I wasn’t there to win, but I did want to beat or match my PB. Her words were in my head during the race, and guess what, I did actually win! I was the fastest 10km.
I dreamt it, and I did it.
Don’t let reality, parents/colleagues/’friends’/family crush your dreams.
First Dream it, then do it!