Review - Browntail

If you have the time, could you review the main antagonist for a fanfic I’m writing? c:

Name: Browntail

Sex/Gender: Female/Cisgender

Appearance: Browntail is a pretty plain she-cat; her pelt is brown, the only markings on it being black mackerel tabby stripes. She’s pretty big, too, with broad shoulders and average-length fur. Her eyes are yellow in color.

Clan: ThunderClan

Rank/Allignment: Warrior

Age: 27 moons (2 years and 3 months)

History: Browntail’s history is a lengthy way of explaining just why she’s such a terrible she-cat. She was born in a pretty normal litter of kits to a loyal mother and father. One of her five siblings was stillborn, but it never really bothered her. Shifting to her apprenticeship, Brownpaw can be seen with a crush on one of her denmates. He’s a confident tom by the name of Cedarpaw. Her two closest friends liked to tease her about it, but she normally didn’t mind it. Eventually, Cedarpaw began returning the affection that she showered upon him. The two became close, and were mates from the moment that Brownpaw became a warrior four moons after him. He was now Cedarfang, and she Browntail. Cedarfang had always wanted to be a father, so when all of his and Browntail’s attempts at having kits failed, he became frustrated. He blamed her for all of the ‘miscarriages’, despite the medicine cat’s voice of reason that it was in no way her fault; it was an error in her creation. A fault of the stars, if you will. For Browntail, though certainly a she-cat, was sterile. Cedarfang would have none of it.

He broke up with Browntail, much to her disbelief. She didn’t beg for him to stay with her, however. She wasn’t that kind of cat. She thought it rude to provoke guilt in others. Instead, she followed him out of camp one night. She originally planned to scare him; show him that she wasn’t completely useless, that she could track and stalk well. But that’s not how the story goes. She made a decision that night.

She was up a tree almost instantly, for that was where she felt most at home. Her back against the stars, her paws high above the ground. When Cedarfang sat beside the lake, he sighed, and spoke with an inaudible voice. Whatever he said, it was the last of the words he would ever utter.

Browntail leapt down from her perch high above, and landed with a crack on her ex-mate’s back. He didn’t have time to register what was happening before blacking out. She bit down hard around his throat just as a gentle rain began to fall. She washed her paws and teeth in the lake’s star-reflecting water before disappearing back into the cover of her clan’s territory. No one ever noticed that she was gone, as she had snuck in and out of the camp through the dirtplace.

How did she cover her scent on his corpse? She lives with these cats  remember, they would pick up on her scent pretty quickly!

(This is where the fanfic will begin. Not from her perspective, but from another warrior in ThunderClan’s.)

Personality: Browntail is an independent she-cat, if her lack of social skills says anything. She pretty quiet, but isn’t afraid to speak her mind. Her attitude has a low tolerance for idiots and ignorant fools, which she considers to be the same thing. Perhaps it’s her sharp tongue, or maybe it’s her… disability, but no one really liked her much. This is, of course, with the exception of her two close friends and her father.

Skills: Climbing. Browntail’s strongest skill is certainly her ability to scale and leap from trees of her clan’s forest. This could be due to her mentor’s similar aptitude. Her secondary fall-back skill when her climbing is rendered useless would be fighting. She’s excellent at overpowering her opponents, mostly due to her size and stealthiness.

Hunting is a bit subjective for her. In the trees, hunting squirrels and birds, she’s completely at home. However, on the ground, she’s very slow, and tends to miss the ever-so-small ground animals when pouncing. It’s not that she’s unbalanced, because she’s actually quite graceful, but Browntail gets a bit nervous and uncomfortable when she’s hunting on solid ground. 

Swimming and fishing are a completely different thing. Browntail is terrible at both, and really couldn’t swim to save her life. She doesn’t like water, anyway.

She never had experience as a mother, due to being sterile, so her parenting skills are a bit of a question mark.

Browntail is really great omg! I like how she’s kind of the villain nobody expected. Just figure out how to cover up that scent on the body and you’ll be good uvu.


sandstormkin asked:

Thank you! And it's alright, I always end up doing the same ; o;)

It’s awfully lonely in StarClan. Some cats avoid me still. Sleeping can be hard without the warmth of fellow denmates curled up around you.