About creepy guys

A lot of men (and probably other genders, but mostly men) like to creepily hit on people (usually women) in contexts in which it’s not ok to hit on people. (Eg: on the subway). 

Girls start experiencing this before they’re considered old enough for sex ed.

Creepy men regularly do this in a way that’s slightly deniable.

Like sitting way too close. Or asking an almost innocuous thing. And it feels really horrible to be on the receiving end, but it can be hard to put your finger on why. And if you object, the man who started it will try as hard as he can to say you’re being unreasonable. Often, bystanders or people you tell afterwards will empathically agree and tell you he was just being friendly and that didn’t have to be rude.

This is not your fault. It’s not your fault that creepy guys are awful to you, and it’s not your fault that people punish you for refusing to cooperate with their creepy actions.

There is usually no polite way to object. Because they manipulate the rules of politeness so that you have to be rude to say no.

It’s ok to be rude in that situation.

Being in that situation doesn’t mean you’re a rude inconsiderate person. It means you’re asserting an important boundary in the only available way.

Most of these guys know exactly what they are doing. It’s not innocent awkwardness. It’s a different thing. It’s doing something they know they can probably get away with denying that they’ve done.

(People do sometimes do this kind of thing by mistake, too. But it’s not ok then either. And most people who do this, know damn well what they’re doing.)

happily ever after.

otp: i do think you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy otp: follow my lead humphrey you’re used to doing that otp: you’re an evil dictator of taste blair otp: it was nice not being friends with you otp: plausible deniability otp: intellectual snobs otp: they say we only run from the things that truly scare us otp: one all-consuming paralyzing thought otp: she does smell nice otp: ass backwards crushing on blair waldorf otp: i didn’t want to admit i’d begun to understand the humphrey appeal otp: i just never thought the person i’d want would be blair waldorf otp: it isn’t brooklyn i’m here for otp: you’ll still have me otp: it wouldn’t to me otp: how do you kill a feeling otp: everyone with a pulse can see that you’re madly in love with her otp: i want more i want you otp: dan loves me for me otp: it’s you it couldn’t be awful otp: if only you could see what i see otp: dan’s my best friend otp: i feel strong and safe otp: i thought you should get to feel like a princess one last time otp: happy

anonymous said:

first thing i thought when harry tweeted that was the song "riptide" by vance joy but then people said it was mary lambert's song secrets so i was a bit confused. people might try to say "stop analyzing everything he says, those werent lyrics from 'secrets', theyre lyrics to 'riptide'" and i dont know maybe it was harry's intention to throw it off as "nah those were lyrics from riptide ;)"

Lol do we have our leeway for deniability? Poor Harry Styles, constantly chased down by gayness.

I can’t think straight, I’m so gay
Sometimes I cry a whole day
I care a lot, use an analog clock
And never know when to stop
And I’m passive, aggressive
I’m scared of the dark and the dentist
I love my butt and won’t shut up
And I never really grew up

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/marylambert/secrets.html

I was scared of dentists and the dark
I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations
Oh, all my friends are turning green
You’re the magician’s assistant in their dream

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/vancejoy/riptide.html

On Depression

I don’t usually get all weepy about celebrity deaths, but today’s… today’s rocked me on my heels. 

It took me a bit to accept that Robin Williams was actually dead and this wasn’t some cruel celebrity death hoax. Robin was my idol since I don’t know how old. He’s been my favorite comedian and one of my favorite dramatic actors of all time… and now he’s gone.

And the fact that it was suicide… that hit me right in the gut. Because I may never be as funny or beloved as he was or as amazing, but I can relate to depression. I wrestled with it myself from middle school onward; I have a handle on it now but there were points during college when I was trying to be a passive suicide. I wasn’t going to do the job myself, so I was trying to subcontract it out - see if I could get hit by a car or “accidentally” fall down some stairs. Something plausibly deniable, even to myself.

And here’s the real motherfucker of it all: the whole time I kept on thinking “What do I have to be depressed about? My life is damn near perfect!”

But that’s the thing about depression: it’s not rational. You can’t logic your way out of depression. It’s just the weight of how little you matter, the whispering in the back of your head. It’s the voice inside you that’s confirming all the worst things you’ve ever thought about yourself. And even if you recognize that it’s the depression talking it doesn’t matter; you always think “well, just because I’m depressed doesn’t mean it’s not still true.”

And it’s in your own voice.

Depression isn’t something you can just muscle through because depression always hits you where you’re weakest. It knows how to do the most damage to your self-worth because it’s coming from inside you. It’s the voice that tells you that you’re wrong. That you’re worthless. And it never stops.

That’s what you need to remember: wrestling with depression is hard. You feel like you’re weak because “oh boo hoo, you’ve got the blues”. But that’s still depression trying to win. It’s what tells you not to ask for help.

But asking for help is the strongest thing you can do.

It can take a lot to hold on, especially when you don’t feel like you deserve to. But you can. Even if it’s just for one more day. That’s still one more day to fight, to get help.

Robin Williams’ comedy got me through some dark times in my life. Just wish we could’ve helped him through his. 

RIP, Robin. I’m always gonna miss you.

…one of the most damaging effects America’s omnipresent racism has on a person’s psyche isn’t the brief pang of hurt that comes from being called a slur, or seeing a picture of Barack Obama portrayed by a chimpanzee. Those things are common and old-fashioned, and when they happen I tend to feel sadder than angry, because I’m seeing someone who engages with the world like a wall instead of a human being. Rather, I think what’s far more corrosive and insidious, the thing that lingers in the back of my mind the most, is the framework of plausible deniability built up around racism, and how insane that plausible deniability can make a person feel when wielded. How unsure of oneself. How worried that you might be overreacting, oversensitive, irrational.
—  Cord Jefferson, at Gawker

Fox News says it takes pride in its “We report, you decide” approach, but its mantra is actually “We don’t report, so we can lie.” In story after story, the on-air staff and top producers seem to revel in being “uninformed” so they can repeat with a straight face the GOP’s latest right-wing talking points.

After all, to actually collect facts and then spew a right-wing conspiracy theory would mean having to intentionally lie. Most Fox News anchors/reporters, like most human beings, are not comfortable lying knowingly to your face. So they engage in the practice of plausible deniability.

They can deny “deliberately lying” because they didn’t intend to do so and didn’t know any better than the information placed in front of them. In the case of the alleged war on red and green at a Florida elementary school, “Fox and Friends” apparently got the story from Foxnews.com, which lifted the story from a controversial website in Orlando. That website ran with the story based on the claim from a parent of one “anonymous” child at Heathrow Elementary School.

Neither Fox News nor Fox News.com nor the conservative Florida website ever bothered to check if the parents were who they said they were, if the child actually existed, if any other families were making the claim or if the child in question might have been playing a prank.

Expanding Our Ranks (part 1)

Behind a locked door within the confines of the Justice League’s fabled Watchtower, a round table sits in the center of a large room. Around this table sits three of the most dangerous men in the world. Slade “Deathstroke the Terminator” Wilson sits at the center, flanked on either side by John “Precinct” Clark and Jason “Red Hood” Todd. These three unusual men are all here for one common cause. They have been summoned at the behest of the Justice League’s dirty little secret. A top secret task force designed to tackle the messiest of situations: Deniable Operations. 

Deathstroke’s fingers quietly drum against the table, waiting for their superiors to deliver whatever the hell news it was that dragged him all the way out here. 

I decided to report this little assface’s plagiarism to the University of Florida. This is why you shouldn’t screw over the people who are doing your work for you. Not only doing illegal things but pissing off the people who help you behind a wall of plausible deniablity? NOT SMART. HAS CONSEQUENCES.

Time to learn about the real world, honey. Miami Beach High school ain’t forever.

anonymous said:

The only reason why I think it may be a coincidence is the act that Louis was tweeting about football earlier... Although you never know with the amour of shade they've been throwing lately

Oh, I certainly agree that it could be a coincidence.

I also know that if I was Harry or Louis, every once in a while I would definitely search my mentions for “If Larry is real tweet about [x]” and pick a fun one. Like I’ve been saying: Louis Tomlinson, tenured professor at the School of Shade, where he serves as Chair of the Trolling Department. 

Louis, or @Louis, at least, tweets about football all the time, so I don’t think that’s necessarily relevant — if he did what I just outlined above, it would make sense for him to make it a tweet about football so he has heaps of plausible deniability and most people wouldn’t give it a second look.

This kind of thing shouldn’t be a basis for anyone to conclude that Harry and Louis are together, but I’m also not willing to write it off as certainly meaningless.

The most frustrating and wonderful thing about Johnlock is that it is currently deniable by logical people and serious fans of the show. The evidence is all there for Johnlock to become cannon soon, but much of the subtext can still be debated. We a standing on a tight-rope waiting to fall off in either direction. The writing is brilliant, because they don’t give away too much too soon, but that makes the hiatus all the more torturous. I believe in Johnlock because I have to. The alternative is unacceptable after series 3.

I didn’t ship Johnlock before series 3 because Sherlock was so cruel about emotion. Then, johnlock hit me like a full speed train, because Sherlock’s character development was so far along that I could actually see him being capable of caring deeply about another human being.

Dear Officer Solilobobalaba

(officers real name changed for privacy)

At a quarter till midnight on a Wednesday night
I was sitting in the unlit back lot, behind my office
On a curb, in the dark, looking up at the stars
When my caution-sense tingled and I set my artifice

(it’s not my fault my medicine is illegal
forcing me to medicate in secret, in the dark
Praying to stay invisible to any passerby
Hoping I’m not mistaken for some junkie shark)

Just in time too, for I was quickly blinded by headlights
Flooding my spot under the tree, but mostly me
City Police have been patrolling all night, it was time
Whatcha doin’?" He asked, though I thought it obvious to see

Just sitting, watching the night sky drift by,”
I began, nodding upward with a storm filled smile
Waiting for my ride to get off at Midnight,
I work just there, and it wont be but a little while.”

I just saw you and wondered, ‘what is she doing?’
He replied with a smile of his own relieved I seemed gold
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with YOU sitting here
He went on, “But this here is where a lot of heroin is sold…

It was my turn to be relieved, his worries were bigger than me
And still, he took a moment out of his nightly patrol
He warned me of the addicts, the lack of light, and prey for thieves
So, I asked him for his name, and thanked him (truly) from my soul

Afterall, I’ve been in worse places and refuse fear’s control
Even if I didn’t need a quiet dark place to take my meds
I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch a night sky
Thankfully not all cops are bad, I’d chat with him anytime again…

- solushospes

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