There are only five people I don't ever want to disappoint.

I’m not exactly saying that I don’t care about what other people think or say of me, it’s just that these few people have found their ways to special places in my heart (figuratively speaking).

  • My Dad — because the look of disappointment in his eyes whenever I do something he displeases just breaks my heart. Like he was the one who disappointed himself, not me. I don’t ever want to see that in anybody.
  • Krishel, Maegan, and Beatriz — because they are three of the nicest people I know. They don’t pass judgment. Well, at least, to me. I appreciate that. I really do.
  • Alvin — Do you know what he told me earlier today? He asked me not to ever leave him. Because I was his family. Because he claims that I am the only person left that makes him happy. He made me promise not to ever leave him. And I won’t. I swear, no matter what happens, I won’t.

I’m crying again, omg.

People Who Made My Year Happy

I would just like to thank these people (in no particular order) in the form of one to three sentenced (honest and sincere) letters. I wouldn’t have made it without you, guys. Cheers!

  • To Krishel, because you never, ever left me throughout the years even though I deserved it. I love you!
  • To Tom, who was always patient and understanding. Who shrugged off judgment and just continued being himself. I admire you so much and you don’t even know it.
  • To Chahinaz, who made me smile and laugh when everyone else made me want to burst out crying. I miss you!
  • To Maegan, who taught me how to forgive and forget and showed me that friendship defies everything (especially distance!)
  • To Ericka, who was my friend when no one else was.
  • To Bea, yes, I meant it when I said you were one of the few people who make this school year bearable.
  • To Beatriz, who knew when to listen, when to laugh, and when to tell me to shut the fuck up. Thank you!
  • To Stuart, who knew when to ask and when to overlook. Who was there when no one else was. And who forgave me for leaving without a word.
  • To Reina Lyn, who was always reliable and who knew how to say “sorry”.
  • To Nikiro, who has always given the best advice on boys ever since.
  • To Janssen, who always surprised me with likes, making me feel less and less alone. I appreciate that, haha!
  • To my family, because who knew anyone could put up with someone like me for fifteen years?!
  • To God, because I know that He’s up there somewhere, just waiting for me to come back; and finally…
  • To Alvin, because you were everything I needed even though my eyes weren’t open enough to see it. Because you stayed with me through it all. Because you were willing to give second chances.
    Because you loved me. Simple as that.
    And because you let me love you. 

I know I skipped a lot of people, but you don’t know how much words are escaping me right now. I miss everyone so much at this very moment and I wish I could just spend a day each with every single one of you in hopes that maybe that could be even a tiny bit sufficient for all the smiles you have given me in the last 365 days. I love you all :((((( ♥♥♥


Maegan! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!1!1! I wish I was there to celebrate with you. :( I miss you so, so much! I apologize for not being able to go online today. I hope you have a fantastic birthday. I swear I’ll make it up to you one of these days. Come here soon, okay? This is the lamest message ever, but I still hope it puts a smile on your beautiful face :”> I love you, Hun! Forever. ♥