hal jordan: absolutely fucking fight hal jordan. fight him for no good fucking reason. he knows what he did. he fucking knows. 100000% fight hal jordan.
guy gardner: this is a tricky one because unlike hal, who you can probably get with an easy sucker punch, guy is absolutely just a person who lives his life as intermittent moments between unnecessary bar fights. like, fight guy gardner if you want, but please decide which teeth you want to lose beforehand.
john stewart: you’re not gonna win this one.
kyle rayner: man why the fuck would you fight kyle? what has he ever done to anyone but been the best pup he can be? kyle has done nothing to hurt you how dare you try to fight him. think about your fucking choices. unless he’s spent his time drawing anime at which point i’ve changed my mind you should definitely fight him.
simon baz: like do you just go around punching people who don’t deserve it? simon doesn’t need this in his life. simon doesn’t need your punk ass trying to start a goddamn fight. what is wrong with you?
jade: don’t fucking fight jade! jade is an angel sent from green heaven. jade may or may not exist anymore. don’t fight jade.
arisia rrab: do not fight a 14 year old girl. but fight the fucking writers on her behalf. like drive to the writers’ homes and fight each one of them individually and show no fucking mercy. you fucking fight them for arisia and you fight them for all of us.
katma tui: like, maybe fight katma? like she’s done nothing wrong to anyone but if you want a fight she’ll probably entertain it. so like, it’s really up to you on this one.
abin sur: i mean, he’s dead
thaal sinestro: though no longer even remotely a green lantern, i cannot emphasize enough how much you need to fight thaal sinestro. pull on his mustache and then remind him of all his past failures. ask him why hal jordan hasn’t returned his calls. don’t just fight sinestro. make sinestro cry. do it.