Sometimes I just wish i could pack my bags and leave, because I am so fucking tired of this family. They all think they are so open-minded, while they can’t even listen to someone express their opinion without arguing. And my father. Oh my fucking god. I am so tired of him. It was all well, until tonight he decided it’d be funny to make me feel like shit. Like “no, you say you are not angry, but I am the supreme god of everything and I know you’re pissed the fuck off. Plus, you can’t express your opinion, you just want discussions to end because you don’t like them”. Thank you, that was the one thing that you had never make me feel like shit about. Then he wonders “what did I do to you? Why won’t you talk to me?”. Listen here, I am so fucking tired of your goddamn behavior, and your opinions about what I should be. I am a person, I am basically an adult. For fuck’s sake, stop telling me that my opinions are wrong, that the way I am is wrong. You are not always right. Stop it. One day I’ll leave you the fuck alone (and that will happen) and you’ll be left here thinking “what did I do wrong?”. Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve always made me feel like shit, always. Ever since I can remember, at least. And you fucking expect me to forgive you? You are fucking hopeless. You have all tried to change me. I am what I am. I like what I’m becoming. Leave me the fuck alone. I could have been happy by now if it wasn’t for you and your fucking useless comments on how “tattoos are wrong” or “it’s not ok to be atheist” or “decide what you want to be, because you will not end up being a musician anyway”. Thanks for the support, by the way. I appreciate all the good thoughts. You know, I don’t give a fuck about all of your material gifts, like that guitar, or the clothes, or even the money, if you give love for granted. You don’t give love for granted, for fuck’s sake. You can’t never say or do anything nice to someone and expect them to love you. And I repeat, material things are not included. I could have a billion dollars, live in the best place on earth and own everything, and it still wouldn’t mean anything without hope, support, and love. If I come to you and tell you a secret or something important, it means that I fucking trust you enough to let you know it, don’t respond with a “but you’ll never succeed” or “ok”, show some fucking interest. Fake it if you’re not actually interested. Make me believe that you care. You are my family, you are supposed to love me and treat me as a person, with a personality, ideas, opinions. I am not 6 years old anymore, I am 18. I know I’m still a kid for you, but soon I will have to deal with life by myself, and how am I supposed to do it if you don’t believe I can do it? And then you wonder why I keep my feelings bottled inside and I am always afraid of saying what I want or need. You have fucking ruined me! If you could just accept me without always having to say something negative about me, maybe I wouldn’t be so fucking hopeless. I do not fucking want to be like you. The next person who has something to say about me and doesn’t fucking keep it bottled inside, I’ll leave. I am already planning to leave when I have enough money. I’ll just go and live my fucking life the way I want. Why can’t I? I have a billion chances and I am going to take them. You think I am not good enough? Well, I am. You think I’m weak? I’m not. You think I can’t make it? Watch me. You’ll be speechless. You will see me do all the things you say I can’t do. You’ll see me put back all the pieces of the person YOU broke. I will do it myself. I have always done so, I can do it again. You will see how strong I will be and you’ll wish you could be there with me, but you will not. And you know why? I don’t fucking want you there.