While we’re going on about shitty AUs, how about this. AU where SBURB doesn’t happen and Dirk is raised by Dave, but Crocker Corp and the Condesce is still raising shit. Dave is, of course, spearheading a rebellion against the company but it’s dangerous and difficult work. He hides it from Dirk because, obviously, he doesn’t want his little brother involved. Of course, our Miss Condy doesn’t play by fair rules and just by being related to Dave, Dirk is involved. He’s a weakness. 

Dave’s away when Dirk gets kidnapped, his memories uploaded into a machine and a very advanced android, Unit 9001, is created. He jokingly calls himself Hal and he’s programmed to take Dirk’s place. For awhile he’s programmed to gather as much information on Dave and the rebellion as possible. Get names, and shit. Then he has to take out Dave.

No problem. 

Big problem.

Dave’s nice and caring and all the memories Dirk has of him are enjoyable and that level of love kind of implants itself into Hal’s mind. He’s never had someone show him love and Dave is just full of unconditional emotional bullshit for his little brother. 

Over time, Dave starts growing suspicious, though. He knows Dirk better than anyone and Dirk isn’t acting all that Dirk-like. He decides to challenge Dirk to a “friendly” strife. It’s normal, but he makes sure to pull his punches, to never hurt Dirk but this time to lands a shallow slice. A shallow slice that sparks and doesn’t bleed.

Abruptly, the happy family life Hal was enjoying comes to an end and he finds himself pinned down with a sword at his throat and Dave demanding to know where his brother is.

It would probably start out with Hal being really haughty, like, “You’ll never know,” and threatening Dave or commenting about how Dirk’s torture is going, generally being an asshole but it’s all faked bravado and Dave sees through it pretty quickly. Pulls the, “Why haven’t you killed me yet, then? Or were you starting to care.” Hits the nail on the head and Hal gets really quite and they actually end up talking and Hal admits that he really enjoyed this and how he doesn’t want to go back to the Crocker company. 

It ends with them going to rescue Dirk together and Hal pretty much telling the Condesce to fuck off, he’s hacked his programming away from her control and he’s joining the rebellion.

Fuck off, mom, I like dad better. 

Flips the bird.

Ollies out.

An AU where Dirk ends up calling Alpha!Dave all panicked because he swears the apartment is haunted. His shit is getting moved around, his computer is being manipulated, doors and opening and closing and water is turning on and off at random. Dirk sometimes hears his name and his reflection in the mirror will twitch or blink when he doesn’t move. It freaks him the fuck out and he demands Dave comes and picks him up because no fuck that. 

The problem is, Dave is a little skeptical. He’s not stupid, though, so he sends Dirk off to a hotel and decides to stay in the apartment a bit. 

There is a spirit fucking shit up, and that spirit has been going by Hal. After fucking with Dave for a little bit he finds that it’s really hard to freak Dave out, not like Dirk. Eventually Dave gets fed up and he calls “Hal” out on his shit. When Hal reveals himself he, surprisingly, looks exactly like Dirk. 

They sit and talk, Hal flickering and looking sort of like chided kid. It turns out Hal doesn’t even remember dying or anything about his life at all. He spent all of his death watching Dirk and Dave and just really wanted to be apart of the family so he observed how to be human and took a name and a form and tried to get Dirk’s attention—it was really fun to freak him out a little bit first—but then Dirk ran off. 

I don’t even know where this would go haha.

how do i cope with lack of fanwork for my ship?

fanmixes

you may be thinking ‘dirk, is that a cover of britney spears’ toxic that i see??’

yes

[listen]

[cover art]

the only reason you speak is to state that youre mine // why didnt anyone tell me love is like being fucked with a knife? //  its getting late to give you up // we watch the world leave and it doesnt look back // whyd you only call me when youre high? // cause no ones gonna get out alive all the gold on earth wont buy us time // id be alright, if i could just see you

please give me alpha!davehal i need it to survive

#FreshMeet We Sicko Roll Deep And Play Hard Why Because We #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParked Video Done By #SimplicityLifeStyle #Dontplaybytherules Custom Video Over 15 Secs #Canibeat #Killinthemslowly #DaveHate #Dumped #Camber #Instawhip #illest  #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad #Whipschocolate   (at Fresh Meet Summer Bash 2013)

Time to Shine #24k Dipped Rare Vs-Mx #WorkWheels Some New Fresh PowderCoat With Gold Flake And New 24k Bolts And Center Caps Done @Lux_MotorWerks Why Because We #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParked Photo Done By #SimplicityLifeStyle #Dontplaybytherules #Canibeat #DaveHate #Camber #Instawhip #illest #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad #Whipschocolate #ImportGram (at Fresh To Death Ave)

Damn these #Sciko’s Come Out To Play Hard Why Because #McSlick #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParked Pix Done By #SimplicityLifeStyle #Canibeat #Killinthemslowly #DaveHate #Dumped #Camber #Instawhip #illest #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad # Whipschocolate  (at Regal Commerce Center Stadium 18)

Spring Time Shot From This Nice Warm Day Just Playing Around With My #Dslr #T4i Why Because #Boutthatlife Know Us#ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No#Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParkedPix Done By #SimplicityLifeStyle #Canibeat#Killinthemslowly #DaveHate#Dumped #Camber #Instawhip #illest#Lowerstandards #Hellaflush#DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation#Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB#Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset#Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad#Whipschocolate #Smutlife (at Fresh To Death Ave)

#Freshmeet Repping All Day Showing Off That #Rare #WorkWheels Shout Out To @Canibeat_Crew For Showing That Love. We #Boutthatlife Know Us #ScikoticsNj We Ain’t No #Wagonwangsta’s We #HardParked Pix Done By #Canibeat #Killinthemslowly #DaveHate #Dumped #Camber #Instawhip #illest #Lowerstandards #Hellaflush #DailyStance #Weksos #Stancenation #Stance #Carporn #Scion #xB #Scikotics #Fitment #Gripset #Wagon_lifestyle #Squirrelsquad #Whipschocolate #Smutlife (at Campbell’s Field)

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