Zodiac shit descriptions

Aries: Loud, overconfident, aggressive thug w too many Y chromosomes

Taurus: Stubborn bully, dull, resentful, lust for money

Gemini: Unreliable sociopath w attention span of a hyperactive mayfly

Cancer: Grumpy, secretive, passive-aggressive w mood swings and pointless worrying

Leo: Vain, arrogant, condescending… addictive groupie

Virgo: Has pet peeve notebook, hypercritical, ANAL retentive, obsessed w perfection 

Libra: Vain, shallow, spendthrift $$$, lifelong quest for their meal ticket 

Scorpio: Obsessive/possessive, manipulative, degrading, lust for power 

Sagittarius: Reckless, obnoxious oaf, fear of commitment, loves a violent rampage

Capricorn: Coldhearted slave driver, one-sided, penny pinching bhole

Aquarius: Detached and weird, perverted loner w a bit of coldheartedness 

Pisces: Slippery, manipulative, reality-dodger w addiction to self-destruction

MBTI: the Dark Side (dum dum dum)

INTJ –Well, I guess I’ll have to state the obvious: Arrogant Know-it-Alls and y’all know it!

ENTJ – Is it always “your way or the highway?” Bossypants.

ENTP – Did you take half a shit again? Are you even listening?! *facepalm

INTP – Lazy sloths.  Also, no fracks given most of the time - Fucking nihilists – but when they do it’s too late and then they get hyperemotional over it.  

ISTJ – If they think you’re “doing it wrong!” they will automatically take over the task and think of you as incompetent.  (thanks Dad)

ISFJ – Pushover.  You’re too nice for your own good!

ESFJ –As Scooby Doo villains would say, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you (ESFJ) meddling kids!”

ESTJ – I know you want to get to the peak ASAP but I’m busy taking nature pics.  Do shut up, I’m enjoying the nature sounds -.-

INFP – Stop feeling sorry for yourself and don’t try to play martyr, what are you trying to accomplish (if anything)?

INFJ – Scary vengeful :S Don’t piss them off! Can be elitists and nagging nitpickers…I know my grammar sucks, okay! XD

ENFJ – Please don’t Adolf Hitler me *cowers…I mean don’t use your superior Fe skills to manipulate me into doing something I’ll regret later!

ENFP – Hey! Slow down there buddy, you might want to dial down the speed in all areas of life.

ESFP – Why is it always sunny over there with you? Is ignorance really bliss?

ISFP – Aww did I hurt your feelings? Sorry about that, didn’t know it struck a chord…

ISTP – Hey asshole! Maybe you’re the problem that has to be fixed, never mind the car!

ESTP – Is it always about sex with you people? Please think before plunging yourself off the cliff again. But seriously, why aren’t you dead yet?