'Harry was a figment of Ron's imagination' admits J.K. Rowling.
This morning came as a shock to many readers when author J.K. Rowling announced that Harry Potter, the subject of her wildly popular septology of the same name, is actually the imaginary creation of young wizard Ronald Weasley.
“Oh yes!” said Rowling in an online interview that bore a spooky resemblance to talking to Tom Riddle through his diary. Her screenname? Squidward7.
“There are hints…signs everywhere…” said Rowling. “Throughout the books, I thought it was quite clear. People just don’t remember because of the movies. They didn’t explore that idea in any of the movies.”
It’s true; this particular running theme was unanimously left out by all four directors of the movies for being “too sad.”
“I mean think about it,” said Rowling. “His brothers are doing their own things, he feels pressure to be great, so he gets on the train and pretends he’s introducing himself to a celebrity and savior of wizardkind that wants to be his friend.”
Although the books are written from the third person omniscient point of view and center on Harry, Rowling says that this is a device specifically meant to imply that the books were written by Ron to detail Harry’s adventures throughout his years at school.
“One of the most classic symptoms of a delusional mind is the need to see the world in a way that revolves around yourself,” said Rowling. “In this way, Ron creating Harry, the figurative and literal Chosen One, and making this figure actively fight for Ron’s friendship at points, is the most textbook example I can imagine of a person willing to distort reality to make the universe bend around them.”
“Also, he was sad and lonely and didn’t have any friends,” said Rowling.
Indeed, this revelation may explain several plot points, such as Ron’s many abilities that are introduced and dropped out of nowhere (chess playing, and eventually Quidditch), his constant descriptions of himself as brave and trustworthy and awesome, and his eventual fate to end up with Hermione, the heroine of the story.
In fact, according to Rowling, the character of Hermione was based on a real life crush he had on a popular girl during his time at Hogwarts.
“Ronald Weasley was quite troubled at school,” said Rowling. “So he wrote these books as a sort of therapy. What he couldn’t predict was how popular the books would become in the wizard world, and then through me as a halfborn muggle representative to the muggle world.”
We asked Rowling if she was admitting that she didn’t actually author the popular Harry Potter series.
“Of course not,” replied Rowling. “I translated it for a muggle audience, yeah, but Ronald is the real author. That’s actually a common misconception.”
Rowling, who has long been a fan of the internet and its language style, claims that the J.K. before her name on the cover is meant to mean “Just Kidding,” a tribute to Weasley, the real author.
“Lol,” typed Rowling.