First years will be sorted into houses based on the most commonly featured fandom of their blog, or the fandom that they choose to give the most priority to.
Dormitories are decorated with fairy lights and relevant posters. Each student is given a Library Candle and a Natural Light Alarm Clock for their bedside table, and a giant dream catcher hangs over each bed.
The curriculum at Tumblr School is quite unusual, yet successfully prepares its students for the harsh world of blogging, as well as giving them skills to climb the slippery slope of Tumblrfame.
Photography - Photoshop skills, gif-making as well as film and digital camera work.
Defense Against the Absolute-Funniest-Posts - Pretty self-explanatory.
Care of OTPs - Keeping your ship floating when it is attacked by an author’s canon.
Charms - Equipping students with techniques to gain followers without selling out.
Literacy - This may be seen as the most boring subject by many newcomers to Tumblrschool, but soon they will realise its importance when pursuing a career in fanfic writing. Good grammar, simile and metaphor creating, and an accurate idea of how English people actually talk will all be necessary when trying to write a good story.
Muggle Studies - It is important to remain connected with society, even when the majority of these humans are as unimaginative as cabbages.
History of fandoms - Seeing how different fandoms interrelate, covering the connections between fandoms such as Doctor Who and Harry Potter, as well as their derivatives.
And of course, we have optional sport classes for the more active members of the student population. Sports include bending, flying, martial arts, sword fighting, dragon riding and punching hipsters.
The teachers of Tumblrschool are carefully selected Tumblrfamous blog-runners who have become experts in their fields. They have been specially trained in social skills so they can pass on their expertise without being too emotionally traumatized by the prospect of having to communicate with other people face-to-face.
Unlike Hogwarts, students have an unlimited access to Social Networking, as well as all other areas of the internet. Students are encouraged to visit the kitchens, regardless of the time of day, where they will find mugs of hot cocoa and snacks prepared by the house elves. Those concerned with Elvish welfare need not worry; Professor David Karp, the headmaster, ensures that they are perfectly happy and well cared for.
Prospective and new students must be aware of the rules of Tumblrschool
1. You must always reblog the creator and do whatever he says
2. This includes not calling him “Daddy”. If you are fine with being punched in the uterus, however, then proceed in doing so.
3. You must not link your Tumblr to your Facebook. All those who disobey this rule will be expelled.
4. Those who use the term “YOLO” without trying to be ironic will also be asked to leave the school.
5. Students must never enter parts of Tumblr where the metaphorical sun of fiction does not shine, for that is not owned by the fandom kingdom, but rather the outcast hipsters and porn-blogging scourges of the internet. If you wish to be caught by these unsavory characters, among the skeletons of their lost hopes and dreams, then on your own head be it.
For more rules, please consult David Karp’s Twitter page.
Good luck to all those bloggers intending to apply to Tumblrschool.